Friday, April 27, 2007

FU-WHAM!

Q:If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?

A:Yes. Sometimes a very loud one.




It's a dumb question but there are dumber ones.

This is the dumb question that made me completely lose track of what I was thinking:

" How do I work myspace?"

That is an actual question voiced over the telephone about an hour ago. It was directed at me by someone exactly half my age during a discussion about something else.

I was unable to respond. My first urge was to hang up. My second was to hurl a string of curses and insults into the phone and then hang up.

Instead,I played it back in my head. Perhaps I misheard.

"What did you ask me? "

"How do you work myspace? I can't find it."

At this point I'm about ready to take my phone to the river and drown it like a burlap sack full of deformed kittens.

"You don't. You type the name I gave you into Google and hit search. Then click the link at the very top. You will be directed to that person's Myspace."

"Oh. Does it cost anything?"

"Only if you let it."

"What does that mean?"

"Dude, I don't know squat about myspace. You can listen to that person's music though- free."

"How much does it cost to buy one?"

"Buy one what?"

"Buy a Myspace."

"Dude, my oven just exploded- there's pieces of frozen pizza lodged like shrapnel in the walls of my kitchen. I gotta go."

"But, but... I have more questions."

10 comments:

the rube said...

i can't remember, is it:

there are no dumb questions only dumb answers. or

there are no dumb answers only dumb questions.

did george, jerry and kramer ever deal with this?

yellowdoggranny said...

oh kay!..next time I will just figure it out myself..

Faerie said...

Holy shit!!! you know dumber people that me.... awesome.. *IQ soaring like a rocket into space*

the blogger formerly known as yinyang said...

"There are no stupid questions... just inquiring idiots."

You just found one of the few people who doesn't know about MySpace (aside from people who have better things to do, like survive). Congratulations.

Allan said...

Rube- I think Kramer knows a lot about saying stupid things...

JS- The question was from a 20 year-old college student...AAARGH.

Vis- One of those dumber people is reading this over my shoulder as I type it.
Ok.
They got the hint.

YY- My job involves answering questions about stuff that I DO know about (which isn't much).
I don't know diddely about Myspace- except that it's owned by Rupert Murdoch and should be avoided whenever possible- but I bet I could figure it out without having to call my boss.

Faerie said...

SOS ... stalker over shoulder... I am afraid I will need to get the girls to pass along all those helpful acronyms...

whimsical brainpan said...

The unending capacity of human stupidity never ceases to amaze me. I don't know why, you think I'd be used to it by now.

CS said...

Ha ha ha! I know as little as possible about mySpace because i fifnd it mind-numbing. I knowenough to keep tabs on my 13-year-old. But you have to be completely clueless to live here and not at least know a little. Especially if you're a college student.

Romeo Morningwood said...

Say hello to the future.

With any luck that kid will show up on the Darwin Awards someday and mercifully take his DNA out of circulation...
if not he'll probably go into politics or win that white rapper show.

You should have said hold the phone next to your nuts for a minute and then yanked the wires out and jammed them into the nearest available outlet.
Just to be sure.

AngelConradie said...

mwaaaaaaaaahahahaha... so you're also "into computers" eh!!!?!?