Five

Cruel Virgin has started a sort of personalized meme; she is providing bloggers- on a voluntary basis- with 5 custom "interview" questions. I will pass the meme along to the third blogger to request an interview (hey, I'm a DJ, I like caller #x stuff ).
Below are the 9 questions that I received, along with my replies, which may or may not constitute answers:

1. Is there another human being who can equal or even top you in musical knowledge (professional musicians excluded)? What would they have to do to know what you do?

A) I am not sure exactly what "musical knowledge" means (rock trivia, musical prowess, theory etc) , but in any case the answer is a resounding Yes. There are DJs at the station who have encyclopedic musical memories that shame me and I have friends who can not only play more instruments than I , but they also play them better. Some of the DJ's concentrate on one or two specific genres and are deep experts in those fields- I am more of a dilettante. I know almost nothing about music from 1995- 2007.

B) Do? I don't know. It's not something you "do" consciously, It's a passion that finds you. You have to really enjoy listening to music. I do. I think a lot of it comes from growing up in the era when the release of a new album was a social occasion and people would get together in person and listen to new records together in a party atmosphere. Perhaps this still occurs and I just don't have any friends, but I suspect that one of the unfortunate drawbacks to digital musical ubiquity is that music can lose it's virtue - art becomes corrupted, even usurped by commerce and henceforth falls into decay. I have heard songs by band like the Buzzcocks, Stranglers and Jimi Hendrix used in adverts for products and service affordable only to the upper-middle class and higher- today it seems as if hit songs are hyping product as soon as released, if not sooner.

2. You once wrote on my blog that if you believed in God, you would keep it a secret. Would you explain that statement?
I can't recall the context of the comment, but this sounds like an allusion to my opinion that many, if not most, Christian "leaders" who publicly proclaim their faith ( meaning mega-churches and gov't podiums- not community temples, homes, personal blogs etc) must certainly be atheists at heart, because their actions belie their professed values - if they were true believers, they'd be more careful with their souls.
I should have added "unless specifically asked under proper circumstances" to that statement- I generally try keep my ideas about faith publicly muted for the same reason I don't tell most people what I think would really happen if Superman fought Thor- people tend to get bored and/or offended and it makes me sound crazier than I already am.

3. What really pisses you off about American society, minus the current governmental regime (I know that does limit you.)?

The acceptance of mediocrity as the norm bothers me. The celebration of the insipid and the vacuous outrages me. Incurious makes me furious. Why are we, as a society, only now waking up and smelling the dog food that we've been eating for six years? If We the People had been paying attention we would already be minus the current regime.

4. If you could sit down and have a heart to heart with the President, name three questions you would ask him? What do you think would be his reply?

The trick here would be to ask questions that he might actually answer. Any direct 'tough ones' (was the war worth it?, etc) will be spun into deflective rhetoric. By appealing to his egocentric, baser self -the dominant aspect of his personality- it might be possible to gain some insight into whatever it is that happens between his ears.

A) What would you name as your single greatest accomplishment as President?

I ask this because I can't think of a single positive example. His pick would be telling...vetoing legislation supported by the majority of the public? I doubt that he'd pick Iraq.

B) It is well known that you have a history of alcoholism and as a fellow alcoholic I would like to congratulate you on your personal recovery. Well done.
How long has it been since your last drink?

Feint with the empathetic kudos, then riposte with the real question. I imagine he'd stumble, indicating dishonesty.

C) The 8th step of the AA recovery program states: "Make a list of all the persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all". This is based on the Christian idea of Redemption. If you could only be forgiven for one sin, which sin would you choose to be forgiven for?

I doubt that Chucklehead is capable of admitting to any sin, which is in direct contradiction to his professed faith, which states that we are all sinners. I imagine I'd be waterboarded at this point.

5. You live in some part of the South. What do you think of us Yankees? Is it true that the South is talking about seceding from the Union again? (Just a nasty rumour I heard.) Is there a state in the US that you wouldn't miss if it said bye bye?

First, I must take some umbrage with sweeping generalizations like "us Yankees" ; my own biases and prejudices are much more specific. I dislike New York but not New Yorkers and I consider Chicago as my home away from home...to choose one generalized difference between North and South, I would say that Yankees have a sense of urgency that I sometimes find frustratingly lacking here.

Second, were the South to secede again, I wouldn't know until it was too late. I am not in that loop.

Third, no. Washington D.C. is not a state.