Smell My Vinyl

It felt good to be back on the air this morning. Lately I've been feeling way, way off-groove; I had been wondering if I was ever going to feel 'right' again...my fear was unwarranted, once again, music has proven itself to be a great restorative.
Recent events have caused me to miss a couple of shows and postpone my band plans, but this morning I was back on-the-air and I felt the equilibrium returning as soon as stylus hit vinyl.

I imagine that from the listener's perspective one show sounds pretty much like the next one, but from the DJ view there are good shows and there are bad shows; for me a lot depends on my own internal rhythm ...this morning was very good, my groove was hoppin'...it was all I could do to keep myself from lapsing into prolonged extemporaneous monologues about every song- I saved that for blog. Lucky you.

Sunday morning at 7am is a rough time spot. I've been doing it for well over a year and would like to move to a better time...such as the Tuesday night slot that just opened up. I think I have a pretty good case to make:

-When I took the Sunday spot, I was replacing the DJ who moved to Tuesday night- the same DJ who just left...it's a natural progression for me to move into his vacancy again.

-I have been a core volunteer since our very first fund drive in 2005-I was our first 'Volunteer-of-the-Year' fer chrissakes. Seniority should count for something.

- I have hundreds of hours of air-time logged. Hundreds is a lot.

-I can do - and have done- shows of any style or genre. I can improv with the best or I can plan to the nth second- I'm good at being a DJ.

There are others who have been on-air as long or longer than me but I don't know if they want the spot or not- IMO it would be theirs first, then mine...that is how a meritocracy works and I really think that the station should be run as a meritocracy.
Unfortunately, the station's default setting is "democracy"; in this case, that means committees and indecisions; ultimately a vote by the music committee will decide who gets the coveted spot.
Personally, I think democracy is an unworkable business model - please give one example of a effective business that runs on the one-person/one-vote ideal, just one- but I am in a minority. I was *ahem* out-voted.
It burns me up that our committee would even consider giving a brand-new DJ (someone not a current volunteer) a prime spot when there are long-term, dedicated, proven veteran DJs who would like it...grrr.

I'm not sanguine about my chances of winning a 'vote' but I do want the spot; I fear it will come down to who is coolest and schmoozes best- I am not especially cool and I suck at schmoozery...but I can put together a good show. I'm not sure if that matters though- we will see. I do have some friends at the station- if they show up to vote I might get the show. If not...I don't know. It'll be a hell of an insult if a newbie gets it, I know that much. The newbie can have the Sunday spot- it was good enough for me, it'll be fine for them. Just sayin'.

For now, it's Sundays for me...if I move up I'll need a new show name.

The New Breakfast Snob, Sunday Jan 20, 2008

Fairport Convention- Fotheringay
FC are one of my favorite Sunday bands...this musty old two-LP 'best of' is a happy recent find. One dollar!

Chieftains- O'Keefe's Slide
Another fave Sunday band... a bottomless well of great music, old and new.

Cat Stevens- Kypros
Cat- when he was still 'Cat'- getting down with a Casio. Really.

Stranglers- Paradise
They said it would be good for my head...

Leo Kottke- Morning is a Long Way Home
I can play this song on vinyl. On guitar, not so much.

Snakefinger- I Can't Be Satisfied
This is from a live Blues CD that my pal Schlep sent my way months past...I've gotten quite a bit out of it.

Claanad- Last Rose of Summer
Pretty.

Robert Wyatt- Little Red Riding Hood
This album, Rock Bottom, contains two songs with same title- during my last show I played side 'A'...this week, side 'B'.

Bill Whelan- Caracena
Will someone please explain to me the difference between a 'reel' and a 'jig'?

Loreena McKinnett- All Souls Night
I would love to see her in concert. Sigh.

Moody Blues- Higher and Higher
This record sounds really stoned. In a good way.

Fred Frith- Ahead in the Sand
One of my favorite avant-garde Swedish guitarists.

Steve Earle & Pogues- Johnny Come Lately
Two sides of the same pond..what a great combo!

Moving Hearts- The Storm
Made me bop up and down.

Siobhan Skates- Short a Penny
99 pence shy of love...sigh.

Eleni Mandell- Dreamboat
The Twin gave me this CD- I'm on the lookout for more, she's amazingly versatile; cabaret, punk, broken folk/blues, jazz...weird. Great stuff.

Bob Marley- Night Shift
Please give me Tuesday night.

Roy Buchanan- Filthy Teddy
What became of Roy? He sure could play...in the Alvin Lee way.

Klark Kent- Grandeliquent
What became of my beloved Gear Slut? One of the many things we shared was a love of this 1980 EP by Police drummer Stewart Copeland- Stew plays every instrument and sings too- awesome! I FINALLY found a copy- GS, where are you?

Jefferson Airplane- Wild Turkey
Another recent find, still in the original brown paper-bag wrapper, the album cover satirized the old 'A&P' grocery bags...the fossilized reader may remember 'A&P' stores...and Jefferson Airplane.

Faces- Ooh La La
I wish that I knew what I know now- when I was younger...

Rod Stewart- Angel
Another dose of Rod, this one goes out to South Africa.

Emerson, Lake & Palmer- Lucky Man
At the end the synthesizer goes "whooee-eeee-wheeeeeeooow-weeep", which is still cool after all these years.

XTC- The Man Who Sailed Around His Soul
Todd Rundgren producing XTC= Genius. Snap!

Pretty Things- Grass
The Pretty Thing's Parachute was Rolling Stone Magazine's Album-of-the-Year back when that actually meant something. (1970)

Kinks- Most Exclusive Residence For Sale
While I was doing my recent five-day temp job, I was approached by over 3000 Realtors- all of whom tried to sell me a house despite the fact that I'm unemployed and have 'sub-prime' tattooed on my forehead. That's a bad sign.

Little Feat- Old Folks Boogie
I really hope my grandmother gets to spin one more yarn.

Gong- Shadows Of
This jazzy instrumental features a young Alan Holdsworth on guitar...his solo albums annoy me but he can really play...he sounds perfect with this line-up, despite it's distinctly 'non-Gongesque' style. 'Real' Gong sure would sound good on Tuesday night...


Next week: The 80's Show.

After

This is me.



This is me on drugs:
























The guitar is still the same.

Spiller

I have a long story to tell, but first I need to take a moment and acknowledge my own personal awesomeness. I usually don't brag- I take great pride in my humility and my unparalleled modesty is the stuff of legends- but RIGHT NOW I am the #1 search result on the Google engine for this phrase : doing dishes as erotic foreplay.

I wonder what they were looking for? Tantric Domestic Bliss?
That doesn't sound too bad, really.

-------------------------

I'm tired. Things are quiet. I found a substitute DJ(thanks Scott!) for my show in case I didn't make it back- as I feared, I didn't get back until late and now I can't sleep. Today will be the first show I have missed this year- and the first time I have slept past 7am on Sunday in over a year. I'm aiming for noon.

Later I will tell you about:
-A horrible accident involving five cars, one tractor-trailer and the coffee that saved me.
- Drinking Manhattans with Fred Thompson and what happened next.
- A visit to the hospital.
- The deep-fried salt block that comforted me.
- The Boston Tea Party and how it felt to be there.

Now I gotta crash. I'll be along shortly.

My Back Pages

"Why do you have porn on your computer?"

"That's not porn. That's Betty Page."

"Well, I think you're a perv and that picture is degrading to women."

"You do? Fine. I'll delete the damn thing...there...happy?"

"You idiot. I was only kidding. I love Betty Page."

------------------------------------

What a week. I've been splitting time between being bored and unproductive and being manic and over-reactive. And just plain depressed.
I need radio. Lots of radio. Six hours of radio.



Thursday:


Atomic Rooster- Intro/Breathless

Grace Slick- Silver Spoon

Be Bop Deluxe- Sister Seagull

Oingo Boingo- Dead or Alive

Mike Watt- Against the 70's
Most of the songs in this set are from the 70's.

10 CC- Rubber Bullets

Larry Graham- Water

Steve Hillage- New Age Synthesis/Unzipping the Zype

Katie Lee- Will to Fail

Marianne Faithfull- Broken English
What are we fighting for? It's not my security

James Brown- Living in America

Lou Reed - America

Nina Hagen- African Reggae
Nina Hagen fled East Germany back when that meant something.

Joe Strummer- Coma Girl

Arctic Monkeys- Look Good on the Dance Floor

Spoon- Everything Hits at Once

Cardiacs- Buds and Spawn

P.J. Harvey- Long Snake Moan

Damien Dempsey- Marching Season

Neil Young- Vampire Blues

Allan - In the System
Check me out. I'm on the radio.

Peter Tosh- No Nuclear War

Kinks- Gotta Be Free

Blue Oyster Cult- Godzilla

Ray Manzarek -Begin the World Again

Gary Numan- Slow, very slow...oops

X- When our Passed Out on the Couch

Flaming Groovies - High Flyin' Baby

Polite Society- William Whitelowe
This is one of my old bands. I'm on the radio again.

Jethro Tull - Hymn 43
Amen!

Neil Young- Powderfinger

Drive-By Truckers-Ronnie and Neil
'Powderfinger' followed by the DBT's 'Ronnie and Neil'. Get it? Sigh. Never mind.


Steve Hillage- 1988 Aktivator
Dude called: "Who was that? I loved it!" I live for calls like that. Pretty sad for me eh?

Ramones- Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World

Black Sabbath - A National Acrobat

Soft Boys- Rock and Roll Toilet

Stranglers- Nice and Sleazy

Frank Zappa- Excentrifugal Forz/Apostrophe

Pretty Things- All Light Up!
I played an anti-smoking PSA and then segued into this song, which features a chorus of English schoolchildren chanting "All Light Up!" over and over again. Tsk.

Crack the Sky - Lighten up McGraw

Agony Column- Mississippi Queen

John Cale-Mercenaries (Ready for War)
Nowadays we call them 'contractors'.

Sex Pistols- Sub-Mission

Cop Shoot Cop- Two at a Time

Motorhead- I Don't Believe a Word

X-Soul Kitchen
A Doors cover- Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek produced and played on this seminal L.A. Punk album.

Paw- Max the Silent
Based on a character from Andrew Vacchs' Burke novels.

Sunday:

R.Crumb- Confessions/Wee Dog Waltz

Steeleye Span- Calling-on-Song/ Blacksmith

J.D.Steele Singers- How Can I See You Through My Tears?

Neil Young- When You Dance I can Really Love

The Kinks- Hot Potato

Cat Whatever his Name is Now- Bitter Blue

Grace Jones- The Apple...

Stranglers- (Sweden) All Quiet On The Eastern Front
This is for my TSIGF.

Can- Mother Upduff
My European vacation.

Altan-Stor, A Stor, A Gha

Pretty Things- Summertime

Damien Dempsey- Celtic Tiger

Lou Reed- Betrayed
You know, I should feel ashamed. Or remorseful. Or at least a little bit guilty. But I don't.

Melanie O'Reilly- This Place

Golden Palominos- No Skin

Steve Hillage- Love Guitar

Frank Zappa- My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama

Fiona Joyce- Long Road to Travel

Eleni Mandell- Dreamboat

Fairport Convention- Tam Lin

Tom Waits- Hoist

Jefferson Airplane- Come Up The Years

Flaming Groovies- Jailbait

Jethro Tull-Moths

Well that's all for now. I'm still unemployed, my grandmother is at home but still sick and the world continues to spiral out of control. Stay tuned.

Riding My Own Llama

Tuesday I got de-hired from my new job at the music store. I think my new boss had figured out that I was going to quit as soon as I possibly could, so he saved me the trouble and sent me home as soon as I arrived. I wish he'd spared me the aggravation of listening to how hard it was to run your own business, how none of his employees ever 'produced'- that all they were interested in was being 'rock stars' etc- and how he really needed someone he could count on but couldn't find anyone...boo fucking hoo.

For eight bucks an hour, you can count on me.
You can count on me not showing up and not giving a shit.
Double that wage and I'll work my ass off for you.
It's not complicated but no one gets it.

I'm not interested in glamor- I want a steady paycheck. Why are you complaining to me about the 'rocker' kids that you hire- who else are you gonna attract if you pay McWages? Rock stars?

I've given up on being a rock star a long time ago. I've shared a stage with the Red Hot Chili Peppers and several girlfriends with GWAR. That's closer to fame than I ever needed to be... if I need my ego stroked, I'll dedicate a two-hour radio show to myself and then go home and blog about it.

Obviously, my ego needs strokin'- so I did exactly that. I dedicated today's broadcast to me, talked about how great I am and backed it up with songs that famous people wrote just for me.

Well...I had some stuff for other people too.


When I got to the station, the robots were running the place...the morning dude had not shown up. I played a pair lengthy, spacey cuts and a couple of classics while I restored human control to the broadcast booth.

Tranquility Bass- Five Miles High

Tangerine Dream- Rising Haul In Silence
Billie Holliday- Don't Explain
I was expecting the early AM DJ to call around this time to let me know that he had overslept again- he didn't call. He was still asleep.

Bob Marley- Sugar, Sugar
It's hard to stay mad while listening to this early 60's Jamaican single. Hard, but not impossible.

Now it's 7AM and time for my show:

The New Breakfast Snob, Sunday Sept. 23

Neil Young- Ride My Llama
When we got on ship/ he brought out something for the trip He said "it's old, but it's good"/ Like any other primitive would
This is for my mother. She collected Camel cigarette paraphernalia; after she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, she modified the 'Camel' logos to read 'Llama'.
Mom had a weird sense of humor. I loved her for that.

Renaissance- On the Frontier
I'm not sure that I can like this band. Two of the dudes have mullets. The music is OK, but they have mullets...

Arlo Guthrie- Wheel Of Fortune
I am certain that I like Arlo Guthrie. No mullet for Arlo, but I sure wish he'd wear a helmet when he motorbikes...

M.H.Price/R.Crumb- Bigfoot Barefoot Stomp
From the soundtrack to R.Crumb:The Musical.
My favorite cartoonist of all time...I have his autograph- that is a rare thing!



Victor Banana- Slumber Precious
Another soundtrack based on an underground comix artist's work. This is adapted from A Velvet Glove Cast in Iron by Dan Clowes, who is best known for the movie Ghost World, which is based on characters from his Eightball comic series.
Dedicated to DJ Sleeper.

Kinks- Situation Vacant
'Situation Vacant' is the British way of saying 'Help Wanted'. I have been reading a lot of those ads lately. Too many.

Grace Slick/Paul Kantner- Harp Tree Lament
Here. Let me cry myself a river.

Steely Dan- Kings
This is for YDG and all my other Texas buddies...I hear that Steely Dans are illegal in your state- perhaps I should pack a few bags, head south and work as a covert door-to-door dildo salesman.
I think the Dan might be singing about King Nixon, but we still have at least one Dick in the White House.

Sweetwater- In a Rainbow
It's a 60's song that mentions 'colors'. It might be about drugs- according to people who have obviously not read FCC regulations, it is against the law to play songs that reference drugs.

Altan-Eoghainan O Ragadan
There's a ridiculous amount of FCC paranoia these days. Eventually, I'll be reduced to playing nothing but instrumentals and songs sung in Gaelic.
This song's title translates to: "Pig-Fuckers and Shit-Eaters".
(Not really)

Loreena McKennitt- Mystic's Dream
McKennitt often has themes of a somewhat paganistic, mystical sort- this, of course, makes her a raving Anti-Christian animal-worshipper ( not really)- but it's probably illegal to play her music anyway- it's that good.

Jethro Tull- Nothing is Easy
I usually play a Tull cut for my colleague, the redoubtable Mr. Jazz, but this one is for Whim.

Be Bop Deluxe- Love with the Madman
If you hang 'round here much longer
You'll be driven crazy with the wonder
of it all
(air guitar goes here)
I had an on-air contest. First caller wins a date with me!
No takers.

Steve Hillage- It's All Too Much (live)
The love I see all around me makes me feel like a starvation artist at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Not that I'm bitter.

Adrian Belew- Oh Daddy
This is for my childhood friend Ron, who was actually awake and listening.
Ron gets up early now that he is a new daddy! Congrats to R & M & A!


10 CC - Fresh Air for my Momma
For my mother. I really miss her.

Quicksilver Messenger Service- Fresh Air
Oh crap. It's another hippie song that might be about getting high...boy, I'm really pushing the envelope here. Or I would be if it was still 1970.
While I was announcing this song, the early AM guy called- he had nearly broken his collarbone the day before and overslept - dude!
Don't play football without pads.

Lou Reed- Average Guy
I worry that my liver's swollen and it hurts to the touch...
Two years ago, my liver was swollen and tender - it was unknown whether it would heal enough for me to live a 'normal' life. It did, but my life is anything but 'normal'.

Captain Beefheart- Dropout Boogie
Can't get a job, can't get a job/Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do?
I honestly don't fucking know. Keep failing until I succeed or die? Look for a couch? An alley?

Iron Butterfly- Are You Happy?
If you answer yes to this question, then I will too. That would be groovy.

Emerson, Lake & Palmer- L.A. Nights
I wanted to play The Doors L.A. Woman for Ruby, but my copy is scratched beyond playability- this at least has L.A. in the title. It's an instrumental, but a lot of people take drugs in L.A. , especially at night, so it's probably against regs to play this song.

Gong- Shamal
These devious Frenchpersons try to make you believe that the line "deep within you" refers to
the "spirit that guides"- hah!
Nice try, Frenchie!
This is obviously hardcore pornography disguised as jazz fusion; it encourage American teenagers to become stoned, pregnant heathens. Don't listen to those awesome jazz xylophone runs- those are placed there by Satan to distract you from the Truth in much the same manner that the Devil planted all those 'dinosaur' bones in the Earth 6,000 years ago to fool you into believing in Darwin.

The Who - Love Ain't For Keepin'/My Wife
Most people don't know it, but I would actually like to get married someday. Not likely, though.
I mean, killers on Death Row get marriage proposals, but I can't even get a date- I'm too much of a wimp to kill anyone- so I think my chances for marriage are pretty slim.

Velvet Underground- Oh Sweet Nothing
Um.

Eleni Mandell- Man in the Paper Hat
Eleni gets it. Tin-Foil hats are like wearing an antennae on your head- a paper hat is much better suited for deflecting mind-control rays.
I have a crush on Eleni but she doesn't know I exist.

Pentangle- Once I had a Sweetheart
If you think this about you, it probably is.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NFL Note: Enough with the goddamn throwback uniforms- I keep thinking that it's Saturday and I'm watching college ball...you are fucking with my head, maaaann...

Stall Genie

Got a tough question? Need some covert advice?

Ask the Stall Genie.

No query too large, no questions too small ,the Stall Genie answers them all.

So stop stalling and start asking.

Five

Cruel Virgin has started a sort of personalized meme; she is providing bloggers- on a voluntary basis- with 5 custom "interview" questions. I will pass the meme along to the third blogger to request an interview (hey, I'm a DJ, I like caller #x stuff ).
Below are the 9 questions that I received, along with my replies, which may or may not constitute answers:

1. Is there another human being who can equal or even top you in musical knowledge (professional musicians excluded)? What would they have to do to know what you do?

A) I am not sure exactly what "musical knowledge" means (rock trivia, musical prowess, theory etc) , but in any case the answer is a resounding Yes. There are DJs at the station who have encyclopedic musical memories that shame me and I have friends who can not only play more instruments than I , but they also play them better. Some of the DJ's concentrate on one or two specific genres and are deep experts in those fields- I am more of a dilettante. I know almost nothing about music from 1995- 2007.

B) Do? I don't know. It's not something you "do" consciously, It's a passion that finds you. You have to really enjoy listening to music. I do. I think a lot of it comes from growing up in the era when the release of a new album was a social occasion and people would get together in person and listen to new records together in a party atmosphere. Perhaps this still occurs and I just don't have any friends, but I suspect that one of the unfortunate drawbacks to digital musical ubiquity is that music can lose it's virtue - art becomes corrupted, even usurped by commerce and henceforth falls into decay. I have heard songs by band like the Buzzcocks, Stranglers and Jimi Hendrix used in adverts for products and service affordable only to the upper-middle class and higher- today it seems as if hit songs are hyping product as soon as released, if not sooner.

2. You once wrote on my blog that if you believed in God, you would keep it a secret. Would you explain that statement?
I can't recall the context of the comment, but this sounds like an allusion to my opinion that many, if not most, Christian "leaders" who publicly proclaim their faith ( meaning mega-churches and gov't podiums- not community temples, homes, personal blogs etc) must certainly be atheists at heart, because their actions belie their professed values - if they were true believers, they'd be more careful with their souls.
I should have added "unless specifically asked under proper circumstances" to that statement- I generally try keep my ideas about faith publicly muted for the same reason I don't tell most people what I think would really happen if Superman fought Thor- people tend to get bored and/or offended and it makes me sound crazier than I already am.

3. What really pisses you off about American society, minus the current governmental regime (I know that does limit you.)?

The acceptance of mediocrity as the norm bothers me. The celebration of the insipid and the vacuous outrages me. Incurious makes me furious. Why are we, as a society, only now waking up and smelling the dog food that we've been eating for six years? If We the People had been paying attention we would already be minus the current regime.

4. If you could sit down and have a heart to heart with the President, name three questions you would ask him? What do you think would be his reply?

The trick here would be to ask questions that he might actually answer. Any direct 'tough ones' (was the war worth it?, etc) will be spun into deflective rhetoric. By appealing to his egocentric, baser self -the dominant aspect of his personality- it might be possible to gain some insight into whatever it is that happens between his ears.

A) What would you name as your single greatest accomplishment as President?

I ask this because I can't think of a single positive example. His pick would be telling...vetoing legislation supported by the majority of the public? I doubt that he'd pick Iraq.

B) It is well known that you have a history of alcoholism and as a fellow alcoholic I would like to congratulate you on your personal recovery. Well done.
How long has it been since your last drink?

Feint with the empathetic kudos, then riposte with the real question. I imagine he'd stumble, indicating dishonesty.

C) The 8th step of the AA recovery program states: "Make a list of all the persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all". This is based on the Christian idea of Redemption. If you could only be forgiven for one sin, which sin would you choose to be forgiven for?

I doubt that Chucklehead is capable of admitting to any sin, which is in direct contradiction to his professed faith, which states that we are all sinners. I imagine I'd be waterboarded at this point.

5. You live in some part of the South. What do you think of us Yankees? Is it true that the South is talking about seceding from the Union again? (Just a nasty rumour I heard.) Is there a state in the US that you wouldn't miss if it said bye bye?

First, I must take some umbrage with sweeping generalizations like "us Yankees" ; my own biases and prejudices are much more specific. I dislike New York but not New Yorkers and I consider Chicago as my home away from home...to choose one generalized difference between North and South, I would say that Yankees have a sense of urgency that I sometimes find frustratingly lacking here.

Second, were the South to secede again, I wouldn't know until it was too late. I am not in that loop.

Third, no. Washington D.C. is not a state.

Blue Man Grope

I feel your pain and it's starting to hurt, so wouldja just get better already?

I had eight and a half hours of airtime this weekend- three two-hour shows as DJ and one show as engineer/producer. I was so impressed with myself that I took my own picture so that you, the reader, could admire me as much as I admire myself. Actually, I was trying to examine the sunburn on my scalp but I won't post those pics... suffice it say that next time I go for a drive with the sunroof open I will wear a hat.

Anyway, six hours of music is about seventy-five songs- plus the 30 minutes I picked up from the 6am DJ who overslept- usually I post and narrate my playlists, but this is 75 fucking songs- who the hell would read that? Better yet, who would write it?

Me. But without the details this week.

First, Zendo Soundsystem. DJ Ras-Bob usually mixes it up with modern flavor, but my groove music collection tends towards the WayBack Machine and the Mothership Connection- (and a few cuts from South Park):

Cameo- Word Up
Funkadelic- Freek of the Week
Talking Heads- I Zimbra
Curtis Mayfield- Little Child Runnin' Wild
Master P- Kenny's Dead
Average White Band- Schoolboy Crush
Papa John Creach - Enjoy
Red Hot Chili Peppers-If You Want Me To Stay
Funkadelic- I'll Stay
Steve Hillage-Unzipping the Zype
Parliament- Big Bang Theory
Little Feat- Spanish Moon
Big Brother & the Holding Co.- Funkie Jim
Tower of Power- I Gotta Groove
Grace Jones- Inspiration
P-Funk All-Stars- Funky Kind( Knock it Down)
Isaac "Chef" Hayes- Simultaneous
Marvin Gaye- Come Get To This
Troublefunk- Woman of Principle
Kool & the Gang- She's a Bad Mama Jama
Rick James & Ike Turner- Love Gravy
Ray Manzarek- Begin The World Again
Stevie Wonder- Superstitious
George Clinton - Kredit Kard
Chris Spedding- Breakout
James Brown-Living in America

Saturday I spent four hours in gridlock and barely made it to the station in time to host Songs From the Big Hair, our weekly 1980's show. I had the pleasure of being assisted by my "trainee" Fontaine, who added some fresh air to my stale records. I used the air-quotes because Fontaine has been a DJ at another station for many, many years- in fact, she trained me as her summer substitute over a decade ago... by the end of the program she was running the show while my assistant Eric and I set up the studio for our musical guest - the wonderful Lauren Kendall - who played four fantastic songs on keyboard, voice and cello accompanied by her man Blake on percussion. Not only did they sound great, they also came prepared with gear and good-natured humor that helped soothe my white-knuckled nerves. Kudos to musicians who carry microphones with them- special thanks to L&B for the cables and to Fontaine for the tunes!

Big Hair:

Danielle Dax- Inky Bloaters
Gary Numan- Engineers
King Crimson- Model Man
Fleshtones- Girl From Baltimore
Opal- Magick Power
Crack The Sky- Lost in America
Dead Kennedys - Viva Las Vegas
Bad Brains- Re-Ignition
Sonic Youth- Hotwire my Heart
Siouxsie and the Banshees- Arabian Knights
XTC- Wake Up
Tom Tom Club -Genius of Love
Mission of Burma- That's When I Reach For My Revolver
King Crimson- Elephant Talk
X- White Girl
Tupelo Chain Sex- The Revolution Will Be Televised
Snakefinger- Kill the Great Raven
Talking Heads- The Great Curve
The Soft Boys - I Got the Hots
Keith Le Blanc - But Whitey/Einstein
The Cramps - Garbageman
The Blasters - I'm Shakin'
Pere Ubu - We Have the Technology
Magazine - The Honeymoon Killers
The Fall - Copped It
Pixies - Tony's Theme
Dream Syndicate - That's What You Always Say
Run DMC - Mary, Mary
Udokotela Shange Namajaha - Awungilobolele

By the time I was finished with Lauren's show I was exhausted and starving, having not had a chance to eat all day, so I said fuck the diet- I got myself some fried chicken and went home, did bongs and watched the Sci-Fi channel. Maybe it was the weed, but does Sci-Fi's original programming consist entirely of monsters eating bikini models? I didn't even notice when one movie ended and the next one began- all I know is that if you hike in the rain-forest wearing a g-string you will be eaten by dinosaurs.

I wanted to dream about the g-string models-sans dinos- but I barely had time to sleep at all before I had to rush back down to the studio at 6:30am to fill in for he-who-shall-not-be-named, who had * ahem* overslept.
Then, of course, my own weekly show.

The New Breakfast Snob:

Raput & The Sepuy- Up, up and away
The Scramblers- Mister Hot Rod
Circle Makers- Circles
Eleanor McCovey- Whisper and a Prayer
Victor Banana- Stall Genie-Gooseneck Hollow
King Crimson- Thrak
West of Eden- Hide and Seek
Rosemary Woods- Everywhere I Go
Clann an Drumma- Visedail
Velvet Underground- Sunday Morning
Fiona Joyce- Cry Over You
Siobhan Skates- Short a Penny
The Kinks- Village Green Preservation Society
Grace Slick & Paul Kantner- Ballad of the Chrome Nun
Loreena McKennitt- Caravansrai
Claanad- Why Worry?
Briege Murphy- The Sea
The Stranglers- Midnight Summer Dream
Marianne Faithfull- Witch's Song
Pentangle- Springtime Promises
Jethro Tull- Fat Man
Jefferson Airplane- Rock Me Baby
Little Feat- Fat Man in the Bathtub
Slick & Kantner- Fat
Captain Beefheart- This is the Day
PrettyThings- Goodbye/Going Downhill
Graham Central Station- Ole Smokey
10 CC- Sand in my Face
Mike Watt- Against the 70's
Tom Verlaine- Always
King Crimson- Ladies of the Road
PJ Harvey- Workin' For the Man
Can- Soup


Now for my next trick: some serious nap inaction.

Got Schmooze?

I'd like to thank my stalwart blogpal Sling for this award, even if I'm a bit mystified as to what I did to earn it. A 'community involvement/schmoozing' award is an odd thing for a self-professed subversive, reclusive, anarchistic, iconoclastic and downright anti-social Intertube crackpot to receive...or is it? Up is down, war is peace and American Idol is entertainment, so I suppose that by following that logic, I must be a pillar of strength in the blogosphere; a regular paragon of virtual virtue.

My award-winning humility is one of my myriad superlative qualities, but my rockin' modesty prevents me from listing them all- one of the drawbacks to being the Most Humble Man on Earth is that it doesn't come with bragging rights...but I can boast about some of the people who are lucky enough to have 'met' me online, er, uh...I mean that I have been fortunate enough to meet.
Yeah. That's it.

#1) Whim: Last year, quite a few bloggers with whom I had a passing acquaintance received emails regarding me from a shamelessly self-important blogger with a marginal messiah complex- he was warning them of my nefarious plan to commit suicide on-air during my Sunday morning radio show. I was one of the last people to hear of my own plans, very few folks took the time to write to me and ask me what was going on; most simply accepted this self-appointed arbiter of Blog behavior at his word.
I frequently point out the perils and folly of believing unsubstantiated claims without checking the sources, but a few readers did write to me and ask WTF? Whim was one of them. Whim understands what it feels like to be a survivor, and although we both get depressed at times, neither one of us is in need of a suicide watch. I quit drinking in order to live, not die- that's a major theme of my writing since my illness of 2005. Whim, who has fought to survive as hard as any human can possibly fight, understood this and after a short time she became one of my favorite penpals of all time. Her support during a period when it felt as if nearly the entire blogiverse had turned against me - for no reason- was invaluable in keeping me 'in the game'. I sure hopes she gets back on-line soon.

#2) Jackie Sue :Yellowdog Granny isn't old enough to be my grandmother, but she's cool enough to be my mom. Even her bad moods are funnier than 10,000 sitcoms, and when she starts dissecting the news and adding her own observations, you can see well how she uses humor to cope with a world that she is unblissfully aware of. I am glad she is my friend, because she'd be a formidable adversary. You absolutely DO NOT fuck with her.
Freya watches over this one.
'Nuff said.
(Under those big Texas Titties beats a heart of gold- see her latest post for details.)

#3) Angel: Like Whim, I was introduced to Angel by a blogger who no longer talks to me, but that's OK because Angel still does. She's a unique woman with a heavy load- but she bears it with dignity, humor and just the right amount of outrage. She is active in many blogging groups and has won so many awards that I fear her blog may tip sideways from the weight of all the trophies on her sidebar, but hey, what's one more? I am out-of-my-territory when it comes to child-rearing, but Angel seems to understand parenting and she knows how to get involved with web-networks of parents with similar situations and understands the importance of the support these groups provide. For that alone, she deserves this 'community' award.
(It's a secret fantasy of mine to start a communal ranch and raise domesticated mythological beasts. Angel would be my Dragon-Keeper)

#4) Skeet: I honestly don't know Skeet all that well, but she is an extraordinarily prolific blogger and I especially enjoy her observations on living in Hawaii- it's not what you get from the travel brochures. At one point -perhaps even now- she had numerous blogs on various hosts- like Angel, her sidebar is choc-a-bloc with accolades and blogger community widgets - Skeet does do some 'Post-for-Pay' work and she has been back-handedly criticized for that, but I would like to come to her defense: Life is hard and expensive, her blogs are well-written and she has told me she would not endorse products she found distasteful- I say if she can make a few extra bucks by doing something harmless that she obviously enjoys, then she deserves some respect- a few paid posts, contrary to the opinions of some, will not ruin blogs, blogging or the blogosphere. For all I know, those paid posts might be what pays her Internet bills and make the whole blog possible...always check your facts and sources before you presume to attach motives to the actions of others. Oh yeah, she has some great pics too...except maybe the fried food...that looked nasty, heheh.

#5) Cruel Virgin, AKA, Enemy of the Republic: Anyone who can get 71 comments and answer all of them must be doing something that involves the 'blogging community', the fact that she manages to upset, piss-off and generally outrage some truly stupid commenters indicates that she must be doing something right- she's spiritual, but not dogmatic- I suspect that it's her never-ending critical examination of the Divine that upsets the nutjobs, at least one of whom seems to really, really want to sleep with her, despite her frequently mentioned marriage . That thinly veiled desire is about the only comment from that person that makes sense to me. Smart women are sexy as hell and EotR is very smart.


#6) CS- CS has picked up on the usefulness of blog as therapy, she's had some major turmoil but manages to find some peace and beauty -or at least insight and irony- in nearly all her works. I think she's be a fun person to hike with..."ooooh, look at this" would be a phrase heard often, I imagine. Did I mention that smart women are sexy?
There is a cleansing, transitional quality to her recent posts, which seem to appear every sixty seconds or so, complete with photos that bring vicarious joy to my precarious state of mind.
For these brief moments of beauty, I have added one more blogger to the mandated list of five.
I never was very good at following rules...some are better broken.

#7) Craig D.- CD understands the beauty of truly cheesy LPs and he is an unabashed punster. I find these to be admirable qualities. It wasn't until recently that I found out that he also has a history of Rockin'...on the trombone! I think he eventually switched to MIDI banjo or something...in any case, he's almost as famous as I am, so you better treat him right. Don't misunderestimate the trombonist -or bassist or whatever- if you can play original music in front of a live audience, you are already ahead of 9o% of people who merely own a musical instrument. Keep on 'Bonin'!

NEXT: Bridges, and how to burn them.

Insomnia: A User's Guide Pt. 374

Ever had trouble sleeping and have someone suggest that you "count sheep?"
Bah.
Sleep is for the weak and counting sheep is for pussies.
I'm a bad-ass motherfucker, I don't need sleep and I sure as hell am not gonna waste my precious insomnia on being a virtual shepherd.
I like to lie awake all night and torture myself by making lists of things I can't change.
OK, that's not exactly true- I don't enjoy making the lists, but I do it anyway.

Here's a sampling from some of my fave self-torment lists:

THE LOVERS:
I'm not now and have never been promiscuous , so if I think about it long enough, I can actually name almost every woman I have ever slept with. But just counting them isn't enough, there aren't that many and it doesn't take long to merely list them. To really deprive myself of sleep, I need details.
So when the insomnia hits, I start sorting them by alphabetical order, last name (if known) first.
Then by chronology. And so on:
-Hair color.
-Astrological sign.
-Where we met.
-What music was playing?
-Drug of choice.
-Favorite position.
If we were 'dating', I replay the details of the break-up and try to figure out what it was that I did wrong. This leads to my next list- Faults, real or imagined:

THE FAULTS:
- HAIR: I started losing my hair when I was 18 but didn't admit it until I was 30 and I started shaving my head in a show of solidarity with my mom, who was undergoing chemo at the time.
If I had started shaving my head when I was 18, it would probably take me a lot longer than it does to count all my ex-lovers. For years, I had long hair and a bald spot, which is probably the least attractive hair-do a man can sport, short of wearing a toupee.
Once, a hippie GF convinced me to try wearing a ponytail.
I was dumb enough to agree.
I had a ponytail and a bald spot at 25 years old.
I may never outlive that shame.

- ROCKIN':
I used to be convinced that I would make a living playing music. Either that, or I would be dead before I turned 40. For 15 years, all my extra energy went into making music. I have at least six hours worth of my own material recorded- I could have written a novel, graduated college or invented a time machine with all of the energy I wasted on Rockin'.
Rockin' has ruined my love life more than once.
One of my girlfriends used to cheat on me when I had gigs- when I was on stage, she knew I wasn't gonna catch her at home...years later, I was trying to impress another woman with my musical awesomeness, so I sent her a CD. She called me and told me that my songs were indicative of serious mental illness and maybe it would be better if we didn't see each other.
That bothered me.

-GETTING WASTED:
I had a PermaBuzz from 1983 to 2005. From Absinthe to Xanax, I have done it all at least once. For a long time, this was fun, but it's really a difficult lifestyle to maintain and it tends to drive away sane people. I once boasted, truthfully, that I could snort an entire eight-ball in two giant lines. That ability didn't exactly attract the best sort of person, my personal possessions had a habit of vanishing when certain 'friends' visited.
And it leads to my new favorite list...


YET ANOTHER BRUSH WITH DEATH:

- DEATH BY AUTO:
Years ago, a man ran a stop sign and I broadsided his new Lexus with my old Honda at 55 mph, totalling both cars. We both emerged unscathed...I was so surprised to be unhurt that I didn't even get mad at the guy, in fact, we sorta bonded on the roadside, looking at the wrecked cars and waiting for the cops...dude sent me $600 even though I told him I wasn't planning on suing or anything.
A year or so later, I blew a tire and bounced my newer Accord across five lanes of rush-hour traffic. I hit a Ford, totalling it, bounced off a Toyota ( wrecked) and finally stopped pinballing when I hit a guardrail. My Honda had a couple dents and lost a headlight. The police officer said he couldn't imagine how I managed to wreck two cars while barely hurting my own. I drove away without a bruise or a ticket...my 4th of July collision with a deer made me think about that...three serious smash-ups that I've walked away from without a scratch.

-DEATH BY SCORPIO:
I haven't had a lot of girlfriends, but at least half of them have been Scorpios and each one of them has made at least one attempt on my life. Knives, guns, a bass guitar and a Wolf-Shepherd hybrid are some of the weapons employed by Scorpios seeking my demise. On the positive side, a failed murder attempt can lead to some pretty terrific revenge sex. It's the mortality buzz, I guess.

-DEATH BY BOOZE:
This is the one that lingers on my mind the most. When I saw the deer's blood and guts on the side of my car, the first thing I thought of was my own experience with alcohol-
induced internal hemorrhaging and how much of my own blood I have seen. If you drink heavily for a long, long time, your guts will literally dissolve and you will drown in your own blood - that is what happened to me.
I made it to the ER with a few minutes to spare. When I read the recent news story about a woman who bled to death in an L.A. hospital ER, I had a flashback that triggered a serious panic episode, so I know the fear is still with me. The fear keeps me sober.

I'd like to think that all these close calls have made me braver or stronger somehow, but yesterday it caught up to me- all of it- and I was literally paralyzed by thought. I spent the afternoon just sitting and trying not to think about all of the things that I have just spent an hour describing.
It must have worked, because I actually did sleep last night and my dreams weren't at all bad.

I had a good dream.
My dream had an accent, not an accident.
It was full of love and it rocked without fault.

Roll Yourself Up

Is there anybody out there who doesn't understand the basic idea of Role-Playing Games (RPG's) in general and Dungeons and Dragons in particular?

Anyone?

Today, you can play D&D on your laptop ,but back in the old days we played it on a tabletop. A tabletop is not a form of computer, it's just the top of a table.

(A table is like a desk- only unlike a desk, you are supposed to eat at a table)

One person would assume the role of Dungeon Master, or DM. The DM's job in the game was to make stuff up. The DM would have an entire fantasy world mapped out , along with a general background story for the various regions and a few highly-detailed adventure scenarios for actual gameplay. The DM served as a sort of live-action interactive storyteller, explaining the settings and situations to the players-or Player Characters (PCs) - who would assume a 'fantasy' persona such as a wizard, warrior, priest or thief and respond to the information presented by the DM. A snippet of a D&D game might sound something like this:

DM: " You hear a rumbling, crashing sound in the forest to your right, it gets noticeably closer, and you can tell that it is the sound of large trees falling. It sounds like something big is
coming, and fast."

PC 1, Fighter: " I draw my sword!"

PC 2, Wizard: " I cast a protection from evil spell."

PC 3, Thief : (in a written note handed to DM): "I pickpocket gold from PC2 while she's distracted."

DM (Rolls dice) : " Wizard, you notice a tugging at your belt- it's the thief and his hand is in your purse. Meanwhile, a hungry manticore has lunged out of the woods and is charging directly at you. What do you do?"

The DM and players used polyhedral dice with 4, 6 , 8, 10,12 and 20 sides to generate the results of the various combats, magic spells, thieving endeavors, etc. that would take place. Events and actions were assigned a hierarchy of probabilities/outcomes and the results thereof would be determined by a combination of the DM's intent and a series of random numbers.

To generate a random number between, say, 2-16, one would roll a pair of eight-sided dice , or d8s. D&D dice came in a huge variety of colors and materials and were collected , envied and admired in much the same way that previous generations venerated glass marbles. Oooh, a glow-in-the dark d20! A transparent d4! A loaded d6! Cool!

These same dice were used to create (or "roll up") the player's characters, who were comprised of a series of attributes: Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity, Constitution and Charisma. The normal human range was based on a bell-shaped curve between 3-18; for example, a character with a Strength of 18 could knock most ordinary doors down with little effort, while one with a STR of 3 could scarcely slice bread.

(Typically, 3 d6 were used (3-18), although I usually allowed the PCs to roll 4 d6 and keep the highest 3 dice.)

Most 'normal' humans fall into the 9 to 11 range, but the fantasy characters generally needed above average scores in order to survive very long, hence the best 3 dice of 4 mentioned in the preceding paragraph. (A weak Fighter would not win many battles, a stupid Wizard couldn't cast many spells, etc...)

Each player also chose a class (profession) , such as magic-user, bard or fighter; a race -human, elf, dwarf etc , and an alignment- a moral compass to act under: Evil, Neutral or Good, which could be further catergorized as Lawful ,Chaotic or Neutral.

As these characteristics and attributes were determined, the players would write them down on a 'character sheet' ( piece of loose-leaf paper), which would be modified as the persona gained experience and powers over the course of their adventures. It might look like this (sans comments, of course):

Name: Mungo the Mighty

Class: Fighter ( uses all weapons and armor skillfully, cannot cast spells)
Level ( how skilled/experienced the PC is): 2 - barely starting, has killed a few goblins and a dozen giant rats .

Race: Human.

Alignment: Lawful Good- Mungo is an obedient, good-willed Boy Scout at heart.

STRength: 18- maximum 'normal' strength. Mungo is buff! If he hits you, it is gonna hurt.

INTelligence: 7- Mungo have hard time make complete sentence. He is vulnerable to mind-control magic.

WISdom: 12 - Mungo has enough sense to ask the Wizard for help with his grammar.

DEXterity: 14- Mungo is agile, making him a harder target to hit in battle. He's a good shot with a longbow.

CONstitution: 15- Mungo is quite healthy. He can withstand more punishment than most folks and rarely gets ill. He is somewhat resistant to ordinary poisons.

CHArisma: 6- Mungo's face has launched a thousand whips. Mungo is also sort of a drag to be around; Mungo lack tact but Mungo not care. You behave or Mungo be mad. Not many friends for Mungo.

Hit Points: 22 - For an unseasoned warrior, Mungo is very durable. (Zero hit points = dead)

What kind of character would you be? Here is myself in D&D terms:

Name: Me
Class: Bard - Bards are adventuring storytellers and musicians. They are mediocre fighters, have some thieving skills and can cast low-level magic spells. Their songs can inspire their comrades, giving the entire group bonuses in combat and other perilous situations. They are otherwise pretty useless. Not many people play them as characters.

Level : 8- I'm OK, but there are an awful lot of bards who are better.
Alignment: Chaotic Good - I try to follow my conscience; I despise rules, unless I have a say in making them. I change my mind but not my convictions.

Race: Human

STR: 13 - Me is a lot stronger than he looks. Me was once the arm-wrestling champ at his buddy's tattoo parlor . Me beat a bunch of burly dudes in an impromptu tournament, probably the most macho moment of Me's entire life.

INT: 25- This is as high as human intelligence gets in the game. The rules need to be re-written to accomodate Me's enormous intellect- and Me is just the man to do it, being a super-genius and all .

WIS: 6 (3) -Me really should know better, but he keeps making the same mistakes over and over. Me's high INT tells him he's doing dumb stuff, but Me's low WIS lets him do it anyway. The parenthetical '3' reflects Me's minus-three penalty when dealing with the opposite sex.

DEX: (14) 11- Me used to be quite nimble, but illnesses and injuries have permanently lowered this score. Two surgeries on his left arm, broken ankles on both legs, etc...currently 11, was 14 at first-level. Still OK. Dancing incurs an additional penalty of minus 4.

CON: (17) 13- Years of drugs and booze have caused a permanent minus-4 penalty here, but Me never would have survived at all without a really high base CON score. Currently 13, was reduced to 0 at one point , late 2005. Zero CON= dead.
That was why Me quit drinking.

CHA: 8- Yeah, Me may be beautiful, but if Me rates his own INT at 25, Me must be crazy in a delusional and possibly dangerous way, and that personality defect lowers his CHA to the point where the rules say Me can't even be a Bard , much less an accomplished one.
A truly great bard has a high charisma score and performs for royal audiences- Me has a garage band that plays at open mic night and keggers. Mungo plays drums.

Hit Points: 50- For a wimpy bard, I'm frustratingly difficult to kill.

Notes: Me suffers a minus-3 penalty to Wisdom when interacting with human women.
Me also gets an additional 3 bard songs per day, as Me is abnormally prolific.

Here's a blank sheet. Roll yourself up and paste it somewhere. Special powers are OK. Be psionic. Or not.

Name:
Class:
Level:
Alignment:
Race:

STR:
INT:
WIS:
DEX:
CON:
CHA:

Hit Points:

Notes:

Vinyl Is For Giving

My selection of vinyl may have some pops and scratches , but it will never give away my name or email and it will never turn me over to the FBI for sharing it with the world.
Vinyl is permissive.
Vinyl is forgiving.

This weekend's first show, Songs From The Big Hair (the 80's ):

The Damned- Street of Dreams
Derek Sunshine sez: "The Damned are like a real-life Spinal Tap. They changed image with whatever they thought was cool- punk, goth, metal...whatever". Well, I'll be...

XTC- This World Over
Great post-apocalyptic ballad about a father and son visiting a crater.

Snakefinger- Kill the Great Raven (Live)
"You can call me Phil. Or Snake. Either one." Snakefinger said that to me after his only Richmond show. Then we got stoned for hours. A month later he was dead.

George Clinton- Airbound
Let's put this Clinton in the White House. The Mothership Connection is funkadelicious and peaceafied.

Scorpions- Every Minute, Every Day
Back in high school, if you had told me that one day I would be playing this album on the radio,
I would have said: "What? I can't hear you! I'm in the backseat and you have the fucking Scorpions blasting my ears out!"

Motorhead-I'm the Doctor
"You'll feel better if you take these little pills/I'll give you sixty bottles/I believe in overkill..."

Danielle Dax- White Knuckle Ride
"Crazy little Charlie took a trip on an airplane/With his hands full of triggers as he flew into the sun..."

King Crimson- Heartbeat
One of my old bands once opened up for Adrian Belew's 'Bears'. Belew wouldn't deign to speak to us, but their bass player did. We gave him a tape. After the show, we were loading our van and the window of his tour bus opened. Our tape came whizzing out and landed on the sidewalk. It was depressing.

Talking Heads- Born Under Punches
But hey, I can't hold a grudge that long. Belew is all over this album.

The Kinks- Catch Me Now, I'm Falling
I saw this tour. I was in 9th grade. Awesome.

Pere Ubu- Ice Cream Truck
Disgruntled Mid-West anti-pop.

Golden Palominos- Omaha
Is that what's-his-face from REM? Is that the drummer from David Letterman's old band? I dunno.

Magazine- The Great Man's Secrets
Psst...c'mere. I have something I wanna tell you.

Adrian Belew- The Momur
Dude. See how magnanimous I am? Bask in my benevolent forgiveness, you fuckin' twanger.

Coffin Break- Diane
These guys used to play in Richmond quite often. They were always too loud, but I liked them anyway. Scary song.

Robyn Hitchcock- Slipping in the Midnight Fish
Yeah, I know I recently played this on my other show, but I really get a subversive, perverse thrill from it. Indulge me, eh? This is one of several songs from today's list that features sardines. I'll send a bag of money to whomever finds them all.

Lou Reed - Turn Off The Light
Yeah, I know I play a lot of Lou Reed. I can't help it. It's an addiction.

Crack The Sky- Big Money
I am the dogs of war, I am the cocaine whores
Who eat the life from you, I am your wildest dream...
Big Money will set you free

Asia- Ten seconds of hell for which Messrs. Howe, Wetton and Palmer will never be forgiven

I saw this band in concert and watched in amazement as a group of hippies stood up in the front row, gave the band the finger and stormed out. The show was that bad. It really was.
A few years later, I was telling my new hippie roommate about that concert- he told me that it was he who had flipped the bird. He was also dating my high school GF at the time. Small world. Too fucking small.



Grace Jones- Everybody Hold Still
To me, this is a Sly and Robbie album that Grace Jones sings on.

Mother Gong- The Upwardly Mobile Song
Robots and Yuppies. Spot the difference.


Tom Verlaine- Postcards From Waterloo
Tom was in Television, not on television.



Opal- Revelation
What a cool album. Remember the Dream Syndicate?

Wire- Ahead
Geez, I like Wire. I suppose I can forgive them for helping spawn 'house' music. Maybe.

Replacements- Black Diamond
It's a Kiss cover.

Elvis Costello- Watch Your Step
Too late. My foot is in it.

The English Beat- Sugar and Stress
Were you a rocker or a mod or both? I walked both worlds and still do. It's a tight wire.

The Stranglers- It's a Small World
Yes, it is.

My Bloody Valentine- Lose My Breath
This pre-emo CD has really fuzzy album art. It sounds blurry too. I thought I'd enjoy hearing it again, but it really annoyed me. Ah, well.

Tom Waits- 16 Shells from a 30.06
"I'm gonna whittle you into kindlin'"



That's all for Saturday.

Sunday morning I got up at 6am and did another show.
I've been doing a dawn show every Sunday for eight months. I must be nuts.


The New Breakfast Snob:

Funkadelic- Freak of the Week
Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam!
Fuck. Can't play that song...I'll play this one instead.

Tranquility Bass- 5 Miles High
I don't know much about these guys . It sounds like they smoke lots of indoor weed.



Larry Graham- The Jam
"My name is Larry, Larry Graham, but you can call me...b'rooombapboommmp"
Jumpin' jaysus! It's like looking at Tom Jones with a 'Fro and a P-Bass, ya know what I mean?


The Who - Postcards
Postcards are a running theme this weekend. I am having a lovely time and I do wish you were here.

Steeleye Span- The Lowlands of Holland
Postcards from Europe are a running theme this weekend.

Damien Dempsey- The Jar Song
"That's the way they came..."

The Flaming Groovies- She's Falling Apart
The Groovies get trippy and sad. On the original Kama Sutra vinyl.
Mmmm...Kama Sutra vinyl. That should be good for a few google hits.

Hot Tuna- The Highway Song
This, to me, is a feel-good song. It's raining, but who cares?

Fairport Convention- Genesis Hall
Look, I've already 'fessed up about this stuff...

10 CC- You've Got a Cold
10 CC were a really clever band. Is that an Arp sneezing?

Talking Heads- Memories Can't Wait
Hear all that stuff? That sound? That's Brian Eno. Fear of Music is my favorite Heads album

Fiona Joyce-The Juggler
Usually you can judge a CD by the cover, but this song is the exception. Terrible cover art, but a beautiful song about a dude who can't keep his balls aloft.

Grin- You're the Weight
"Wanna sink my boat in your ocean..." What is that all about?

Alan Parsons Project- I Wouldn't Wanna Be Like You
This guy is the real brain behind Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side...Ampex+Parsons= Midas.

Curtis Mayfield- No Thing (The Cocaine Song)
"I'm so glad that I'm set free"
When I was a kid, I didn't know what this song was about. Now I do. I really do.

Lou Reed- Babyface
Oh my. That's not a happy song, is it?

Robert Fripp-Chicago
I would like a deep-dish pizza stuffed with Frippertronics. That would be my perfect meal.

The Stranglers- Tank
This should be used in Army recruiting ads..."drive your very own tank"
It never goes out of style.

Cream - World of Pain
Have you ever dropped acid and stared at the cover of Disraeli Gears? Whew...it's an eyeful of mind-candy.

The Kinks- Last of the Steam-Powered Trains
I can relate to the defiant obsolescence expressed in this song. I played it from the original vinyl, which is in glorious Monophonic.

Quicksilver Messenger Service- Pride of Man
Pickin' up on yesterday's thread of nuclear holocaust.

Captain Beefheart- Rock and Roll's Evil Doll
Scorpio.

Can- Mother Upduff
Another European postcard- a travelogue really. Considerable time is spent in Italy.

Crack the Sky- Maybe I Can Fool Everybody Tonight
"The last place I want perspiration odor is under my arms."

Be Bop Deluxe- Ships in the Night
"Without love, I am a desert". Camels live in deserts.

Jethro Tull- Thick as a Brick
Your what is in the where? How did it get there? Yuck.

Clannad- Love and Affection
Is that too much to ask for? A timeless question.

Jefferson Airplane- Wooden Ships
The line about the purple berries always reminds me of the balloon girl from the original Willie Wonka movie. What exactly did the Oompa-Loompas do with her?

Well, that's what I did this weekend. It's pouring rain this morning so I'm staying inside and taking a nap. I talked to my grannie and she sounds pretty good, so I can rest a little easier.
It's been a good weekend.
I hope you all had a good one too.