I walk into the office and the usual suspects are discussing Bush's plan to invade Iraq. The consensus seems to be that Saddam is gonna get what he deserves for attacking us on 9/11.I know it's useless to point out how wrong my co-workers are, so I join them instead.
"Hey, didja hear about Jane Fonda?" , I ask the room at large. Mentioning Jane Fonda always perked up the Rush Limbaugh crowd.
What? Yes, tell us what that bitch has done now!
I start improvising.
"Well, it turns out that Hanoi Jane is the one who blew up the Hindenburg in 1969 and made us lose Saigon during the Tet Offensive. After it blew up, the French got scared because it damaged their precious Eiffel tower, so they pulled out of Viet Nam and left us high and dry, the bastards. I heard it on the Mike Savage show."
That cunt! I knew it! Mike Savage is the man! Fuckin' French! SURRENDER MONKEYS!
Not a single person pointed out that the Hindenburg exploded in New Jersey and that it happened in 1937, not 1969 and that it had absolutely nothing to do with the Viet Nam War, Jane Fonda or the French. They were too busy repeating Bush/Cheney's obvious bullshit to question my own obvious bullshit.
I was making fun of how ill-informed my colleagues were and they were too ignorant to know they were being mocked. What I was saying was utter bullshit but it fit their needs so they didn't hesitate to believe it. Hell, if it involves the French, Jane Fonda and Viet Nam it must be true...goddamn gook-lovin' commie bitch, hope she gets what's coming...it was scary hearing that hateful rhetoric coming from people who weren't even born until after the Nam was over- where do they learn this bullshit?
Later, one Office Dude asked me privately:
"Hey, didn't the Hindenburg thing happen during WWII? I saw a movie about it a long time ago and it had Germans in it. World War Two Germans."
"No, dude, that was just a movie. The real explosion was in 1969. That's why it's on the cover of the first Led Zeppelin album."
"Dude, I have that album...I need to check the cover."
The next day Office Dude was excited.
"Dude! You were right! I checked the record and sure enough,1969! The Eiffel Tower is even on the damn album cover! Goddamn fuckin' French! Jane Fonda should be arrested and hung!"
Of course that was before we found out about John Kerry's role.
16 comments:
but she atoned by doing the tomahawk chop with ted at turner field. she sure looked sweet in her braves cap.
never saw a woman so alone, so alone.
Hey!..I was scoring acid in Luce park in Kansas City back in '69 when Jane Fomde and Lt.Calley invaded Mi Lai and slaughtered all those Huns at the battle of Iwo Jima!...So don't get me started.
I should try that with my fellow employees. I try the direct approach and tell them that Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11, some of them finally agree, six years later. I'll blame Martha Stewart for the next thing that goes wrong and just have fun.
youre too funny
Say what you will about Hanoi Jane but she ain't no Commie Hollerback Girl. She scored some serious alimony from Turner.
My son told me that Led Zep was going on tour! Is that true..if it is I might have to go. They must have really had to lubricate JPJ.
There is no way that Plant can hit those notes anymore but Jimmy can prolly still show us where his Mama lives!
check out Google Images for
Oh The Huge Manatee!
Well I'm no fan of Jane, but this was hilarious. We have one token Republican at my place of employment. I love working in a blue state library.
Wasn't, like, John Kerry Zepplin's first bass-player or something like that?
And, yes, I read in the paper that Led Zepplin is going to do a one-off show for some Ahmet Erdegen (Sp?) memorial. Bonham's son will be playing drums for this gig.
Ringo's son, Zak Starkey, turns 42 today, BTW. He's been gigging with THE WHO...
Shooting fish in a barrel, that was.
Your office workers remind me of a co-worker (young) who asked me:
Didn't Sony Bono start "pro bono" while he was in office?
True story? or fabrication?
Scary
By the way the Hindenberg went down on the day my Mom was born, in 1937
Rube- It was downhill after Barbarella.
Sling- I believe the part about the acid...
Tex- Did you know Martha Stewart and Emma Goldman were once lovers?
HE- Jane might have made some bad decisions, but hosing Turner wasn't one of them. That Zep rumor is true...personally, I'd rather stay home and listen to Physical Graffiti...
Huge Manatee, ha! You could probably convince most Reds that it's a pic of a Macy's parade float bombed by al-queda.
MC- I am in the belly of the Red Beast here...aaagh! I'd love to work in a library- good on you for doing so!
CD-
Kerry actually did play bass- a Buffalo garage band, if I recall...wait...that might be wrong.
Kid Bonham did some Zep work in the past,I think that's true...where is my Gear Slut?- I need rawk answers!
Maybe Julian Lennon could replace Daltrey or Townsend...do the other Beatles have musician kids? Think of the LP covers that you could make:
"Who? The Beatles is Who!" etc etc...You are Da Man to do it!
CS- Yeah,I know...but peeps are falling for the exact same gaggle of distortions now, re: 'surge' and Iran...why don't we ever learn?
For the Record: THERE IS NO 'SURGE'. WHAT WE HAVE IS AN ESCALATION.
Beth- Well, I don't have any co-workers now...that was 2003. I hope you told him they call it "Pro" Bono because they charge top dollar for such services.
AC- True story about fabrications and how easily led astray by them we , as a whole, are. Over and over again, we fall for the same tricks.
There was a suggestion that the surviving Beatles (Ringo - drums, Paul - bass) merge with the surviving members of The Who (Pete - guitar, Roger - vocals) and form THE WHOTLES!
Instrumentation-wise it "works."
My band-mate, Bernie, prior to founding MYSTIC EYES wanted to have a band called THE WHOTLES that played only Who & Beatles covers. In fact, I think he managed to play one gig under that moniker, Lewinski. (See? POLITICS!)
...and wasn't it Keith Moon who suggested that using the name "The NEw Yardbirds" would "go over like a lead zepplin?"
AAAAAAHHHHH - TOO MUCH RAWK TRIVIA!
i thought jane fonda started the iraq war....
I've heard LZ may be reforming.
Fantastic!!
CD- I can't see Ringo playing Keith Moon's fills...the two styles are completely different- great idea for a cover band though...how about a Turtles/Yardbirds tribute band? That would have a funny name!
JS- Yes, she did. Both of them.
P- Reforming? Those dudes are either
dead or incorrigible.
fit their needs so they didn't hesitate to believe it
dude- i know SOOO many people who think that way!
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