Saturday, October 20, 2007

Break The Jinx

I awoke to the sound of jackhammers and profanity. Outside my window there were five men sitting, watching another man as he used a powered hammer to pound a hole into the asphalt. The sitting men sounded like they were playing a game of ' Who Shit?', but were having difficulty hearing each other over the din of the jackhammer. Their shouted conversation went much like this :

"Fuck you!"

"What?"

"I said FUCK YOU!"

"Fuck who?"

"FUCK YOU!"

"What?"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck who?"

"Fuck YOU!"

"Hhahaha!"

The shouting men were white. The working guy was black. They were all contractors, working for a local company with a name that sounds like 'cocks'. I wonder how much the City is paying Cocks Co. for this pneumatic morning serenade ?

Anyway, on to the good news:

My car runs wonderfully! Here's a quick recap of my automotive woes, starting early springtime:

- Car begins running erratically, producing massive clouds of smoke, stalling out, not starting etc, then running OK for a while, then sputtering again...'Check Engine' is on...during a search for the problem, it is discovered that my engine still has the original timing belt (162,000 miles) and it is frayed, almost ready to break.

- Spend $400 having timing belt replaced. Problems with engine continue.

-Engine problems become moot when I collide with a deer at 55 mph. I dig into my vacation money and spend $1200 on body repair. Eventually, another $600 is spent on replacing and re-aligning the tires.

-I get laid off. No more income. Begin DIY mechanic approach.

- Many failures later, I relent and take car to Volvo shop, where I am told it will cost $2500 to replace wiring harness. Intensify DIY approach.

- Info found on internet suggests mechanic may be wrong. Take car to different mechanic: It is a pair of faulty sensors- total cost, including labor, is under $200! Car runs great!

-The next day I told a friend :" Ya know, I'm afraid to say this, but I think I finally got my car fixed..."
Jinxed!
Within hours of making this statement my car started running badly again- no smoke, but it shook and shuddered when idling, had absolutely no power, was getting 10 miles per gallon...with some help, the problem was traced to a cylinder that wasn't firing properly. My friend said he thought it was a fuel injector problem- some online research supported his theory. But I had tried fuel injector cleaner when my car started fucking up...it didn't do anything.

That's because I followed the directions on the FI cleaner bottle.
Try again, I was urged. Ignore the instructions this time. Do it like this.

So I waited until my tank was almost empty and then I added two bottles of Old Engine Gumout. Then I pumped in four gallons of gas and started driving...by the time my tank was nearly empty again, it was running smooth and quiet- I had driven just over 100 miles, so my MPG was a little over 25, which is normal for my vehicle.

Yesterday, I shared this news with a group of friends -and my car didn't break down.

This morning I called my grandmother and told her I was going to drive up and visit her- and my car didn't break down.

I even started this post about my car not breaking down- and it didn't break down.

I went to market and back- and my car didn't break down...you get the picture.

Oatmeal, rice, bananas, beans...Godzilla, but I'm sick of the poverty diet.I was craving meat.
I don't eat very much meat- it is usually too expensive- but $1.59 a lb. for skinless , hormone-free chicken breast? Stock up!


Clockwise , from L to R : Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.

The way my luck has been lately, I half-expected to manifest symptoms of salmonella , but it's been 24 hours and I'm OK. The leftovers are even better...

After my repast, I took a short stroll. I hadn't gotten far when I saw this:

Two unopened cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon sitting atop the trash cans behind a nearby building.

There was once a time when I would have wiped these off with my dirty shirt and slugged 'em straight down; instead, I dashed home for my camera before Scotty, our local hobo, found them.

These cans, to me, are a sign that one of my fondest wishes may yet be granted.
Somebody that I care about lives in the building where I saw this -I think these may be their cans...I would say more, but this time it's not me that I'm worried about jinxing.

Fingers crossed!

9 comments:

Craig D said...

PBR me ASAP?

Your entry was a better "pick-me-up" than those sweet, sweet cans of tepid trash beer.

The stereo's still working in my van, but the clothes dryer went on the fritz this past week. The Sears service tech got it working while we wait for the new parts to come in.

I might be on to what I need to get that new PC working and I'm waiting for either a phone call (yay!) or letter (boo!) concerning another matter.

Who ya gonna call? JINX BUSTERS!

All my best...

AngelConradie said...

oh i am SO glad your car hassles are sorted dude!
as for the beer on the bins... how can you torture me with such suspense!!?! what is it that can be jinxed? work, romantic, personal... ugh, i hope you can tell us soon! this is going to drive me nuts!

Anonymous said...

Nice developments! A car in every driveway and a chicken in every pot - you could run for office on that.
I'd leave out the part about jackhammers in the front yard and cans of PBR on every dumpster, though.

the rube said...

have you considered an old toyota corolla?

the don't have the cachet of a volvo but they take a beating and auto wreckers have a mountain of used parts.

Sling said...

Looks like maybe some one decided to quit drinking..Scotty should be happy about that as well.

whimsical brainpan said...

I am so happy to hear that your car is finally behaving. I think this is where the jinxes are ending and the good stuff is suppose to start.

Allan said...

CD- Here's hoping for a new, improved week for you too!

Angel- I'm hoping that someone went sober. They drink PBR, and it's hurting them.

Schlep- Is it too late to declare?

Rube- I'm an old Honda man, m'self, but I love this car...I split an adult deer into halves with it! Still, if I'd known I was gonna lose my job I'd have thought twice about buying it. Too late now...

Sling- That's what I'm hoping. Scotty will miss the cans...he almost cried when I quit. I gave him a grilled cheese sandwich , but he still wasn't happy.

Whim- Amen! Did I tell you?...yeah, I did. Cool.

AngelConradie said...

crossing my fingers...

yellowdoggranny said...

arghghghg!...don't jinx it..dont brag..just hug the hood every time you get in it, pat the steering wheel...tell it you love it soooo much...and things will be ok...I think!...
you could have used the beer to make chili..that's all it's good for ..