The Heart Is A Lonely Haunter

Our office is located in an old schoolhouse- built in 1917- and I'm starting to think it may be haunted. At least half-a-dozen of my clerks have, on separate occasions, informed me that they have seen movement out of the corner of their eyes and that they thought it was a rodent of some sort, but they didn't actually see it. I told them that I would speak with building services, but those were empty words, said for the sake of reassurance and little else.

I didn't want to alarm my staff, but I have seen "movement" as well, and it's not a mouse. It's a kid, a boy who appears to be around ten years old, wearing round wire spectacles and dark hair cut in a 'bowl' fashion.

I think he's wearing old-fashioned suspenders, only he's got them on backwards, with the crossed straps making an 'X' on his chest, and seeing as how he's semi-transparent and less than a foot tall, I figure he's probably dead and been that way for a good long while. In any case, he seems to like the area near what used to be the school's stage and is now a storage room, he likes to run backwards from left to right - not in reverse, he moves in the looking-over-your-shoulder-to-see where-you-are-going kind of backwards. If you look directly at him, he disappears, so I'm not sure exactly what he's up to.

There are some questions that I won't ask at work. One such question is: "Who did you vote for?"

Another would be: "Hey, can you see the little invisible boy in the corner?"

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My cats haven't done anything interesting lately, so I'll blog about what I ate. Fascinating.

Saturday, I broke my fast with a Dominic's chicken sub, served with grilled onions and peppers and slathered in hot sauce. It left me feeling hungry, but I had two radio shows to do first- I have my own Saturday show and I had also agreed to engineer a live performance by Tim Barry (of Avail fame) on DJ Dan's show. Tim was great, it was worth postponing dinner for.

Between the time that I got home and the time I went to bed, I estimate that I ate six large turkey, bean and cheese burritos. Things got a little blurry after burrito number four, but I had planned on making enough 'rito fillin' to eat for a week- but there were no leftovers at all- only the greasy skillet, a dirty plate and a tortilla wrapper remained in the morning, so I reckon I must have ate it all...maybe it was the invisible boy that done it.

Sunday found me hungry. Most days, I have a pot of coffee for breakfast and that kills my appetite until lunch time, but Sunday was different. I drank a pot of coffee and went to the market. When I returned, I began eating and didn't stop until well after midnight.

I think I set a personal record for most food consumed in a single day. I may have some of the items out-of-order, but this is what I ate:

- More than my fair share of fudge samples in the bakery section.

- An apple fritter.

-Four glazed doughnuts.

- Six bananas.

-Coffee, lots.

-Two large grilled sourdough sandwiches with turkey, cheese,onions, peppers, garlic, rosemary and cayenne
(My homemade ones were much better than Dominic's, I must say)

-A 29 oz. 'self-rising' frozen pepperoni pizza.

- A peach.

- An entire half-gallon container of Peanut Butter Chunk ice cream, topped with 1/2 lb. honey-roasted peanuts and a pint of Hershey's syrup. (Eaten over the course of the day)

Half a loaf of sourdough bread- heated, torn into chunks, sprinkled with parmesan cheese and dipped in garlic butter.

-One 1/2 lb. bag of store-brand 'Chex Mix'.

- 6 oz. yogurt.

- 3 white chocolate/macadamia nut cookies.

- The other 1/2 lb. of peanuts (see ice cream notes , above)

-3 large pancakes w/ honey, butter and maple syrup.


I never did feel sick or bloated. As I write this, I have just finished eating an entire pizza and I'm still hungry. I wish I had some ice cream. My diet usually consists of fruit, oatmeal, salad, beans and bagels- why the sudden attack of gluttony? I'm thinking tapeworm.

Below is another list. It's a list of the songs I played on Saturday's show:

THE NEW BREAKFAST SNOB, 1/25/2009

Bedtime Story- In A Cage
The best Israeli Prog-Rock band that I've heard in a long time.

Bad Haggis- Bad Haggis
I wish I had more Bad Haggis. It's delicious!

XTC- Crowded Room
Big party coming up! More to follow...

Be-Bop Deluxe- New Mysteries
Dudes. The turntables work if you know how to use them. Stop the email madness.


Lisa Maxwell- Harmonic Rock/Out of Sight
I am a sucker for rock chicks. The instrumental 'Harmonic Rock' was too short (1:47), so Lisa got two songs.

Steve Hillage- Saucer Surfing
Dude. The turntables work. I bought this album in 1984 and it works too.

Jethro Tull- Nothing To Say
Still more vinyl. Why do I have 50+ emails about our "broken" turntables?

Motorbaby- So Suprised
Smart, sexy supermodel rock. They said it couldn't be done. They were wrong.


Nijole Sparkis- Everything
Haunting in a good way.

Norine Braun-I'm The One
Oh, hell yeah! Norine is definitely The One. I don't even know what she looks like but I have a Mad Crush just listen'. Every song I've heard by Braun is in a different style, and it's all good.

Crack The Sky- Nuclear Apathy
These guys were big in Baltimore back when I lived in Maryland. I tried to pronounce "nuk-u-lee-ar" in the way of Bush, but I botched it. A caller informed me that I had misprounounced my mispronunciation, which forced me to make an on-air incorrection. Balance was restored.

Stark- Dreams Come True
News to me. I like them.

Jenny Madison- Midnight
I'm enjoying what I've heard so far. Substance to go with the style.

Carrie Rodriguez- She Ain't Me
CR is finding a regular spot on this show. A good thing, that.

Jon Yeager- Great Movies
He's very young but he writes some good Wilson-esque songs and has a great voice.

J.J. Cale- The Sensitive Kind
A truly great and under-rated American singer/songwriter.

Jon Prophet- Like A Train
This guy kicks ass in at least a dozen ways.

Arlo Guthrie- Wheel of Fortune
I love this song. Brings back some good memories, it does.

Elvis Costello- Turpentine
Elvis from last year. Raw and awesome.

Pere Ubu- We Have The Technology
Dude. The turntables work. I'm playing this vinyl as a way of mocking you.

Southern Culture On The Skids- No Longer A Sweetheart of Mine
Mary done broke my heart. In 1986. Still getting over it.

Stranglers- No More Heroes
Whatever happened to Leon Trotsky?

Second Place Driver- Leave
Me like this band. Me play more later.

Geoff Westen- Better Get Started
Also good. More to follow.

Pentangle- Blacksmith
Explain this "duty".

Kristen Cochron- Love Letters From A Fool
Ooops. Did I really hit 'send'? Fuckity.
Great voice though.

Trashcan Darlings- PlayStation
Absolutely awful. I love it.