Wednesday, April 01, 2009

True!

Gmail is now offering an automated program that will read and analyze your email and use robot magic to compose and send a reply. You can 'humanize' your email by tweaking the settings for things like 'Typos' and 'Emoticon Use'...you can set your email to contain spelling errors- on purpose!

The program offers:

Email will never be a thing of the past, but actually reading and writing messages is about to be. Google Mail Autopilot automatically manages your inbox better than you can, with zero effort from you.

Manage relationships
Impress everyone with your prompt and insightful responses to everything from urgent notes from your boss to cute messages from your significant other.


Match your style

Autopilot calibrates for tone, typos and preferred punctuation. It's just like you, but automated.




It's just like you, but automated. You have been replaced by a machine.


It seems that using a robot to answer "urgent notes from your boss" and reply to "cute messages" could lead to some catastrophic problems...what if the robot quits your job or dumps your significant other?

I like this part: "Impress everyone with your prompt and insightful responses... "

It might as well read like this: "Wow. You sure sounded a lot smarter in email."




Did you know that a tightly-knit and vaguely feared cabal of Google programmers is currently plotting to render humanity obsolete?

From the Google site:

Research group switches on world's first "artificial intelligence" tasked-array system.

For several years now a small research group has been working on some challenging problems in the areas of neural networking, natural language and autonomous problem-solving. Last fall this group achieved a significant breakthrough: a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster.

Since then progress has been rapid, and tonight we're pleased to announce that just moments ago, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE) was switched on and began performing some initial functions. It's an exciting moment that we're determined to build upon by coming to understand more fully what CADIE's emergence might mean, for Google and for our users. So although CADIE technology will be rolled out with the caution befitting any advance of this magnitude, in the months to come users can expect to notice her influence on various google.com properties. Earlier today, for instance, CADIE deduced from a quick scan of the visual segment of the social web a set of online design principles from which she derived this intriguing homepage.

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Resistance is futile...click the homepage!

9 comments:

citizen of the world said...

I had no idea what this was about when I saw it on the google homepage. Can you make replies without actually sending them, or does it automatically send them once written?

billy pilgrim said...

did baltar and the cylons infiltrate google?

angel said...

Dude- this is possibly the best April Fool's joke I have ever seen!!!

yinyang said...

"True!"*

*For a limited time only.

yellowdog granny said...

can it get me a date on lovematch.com?

yellowdog granny said...

can it get me a date on lovematch.com?

Craig D said...

This must be the application that's been sending all those letters to the editor in my local newspaper!

whimsical brainpan said...

He he he! That was a good one!

more cowbell said...

hey this is great. I'm using it to answer my mom's many religious/political FWD'd messages.