Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Sex, Drugs,Tires, Spreadsheets and the Distant Echo of Boogie-Woogie Piano


By 'sex' I mean dating. And by 'dating', I mean 'not having sex', so the first word of this headline  is inherently meaningless and was simply used to catch your attention in a cheap,tawdry fashion- and  terms like 'tires and spreadsheets' would most likely fail to achieve that goal.

Not that I'm totally against meaningless, no-future sex with near-strangers, but I'm at the point in my life where I want some long-term stability from my partner, which means no more adulterous plundering on my part, despite that being my only current option.

The quick gratification isn't worth the lingering guilt-and if I didn't feel the guilt, I'd have to admit that there was something seriously wrong with me, I mean, I'm sure that I have my share of bad qualities, but I'd like to think that callous amorality is not one of them.

Here's a funny thing. Obviously, I don't mind blogging about my own personal failings and troubles, but this here dating stuff is a touchy, tricky subject, especially on account of me being so fucking desperately lonely that I signed up for a major dating site. And I'd like to date a woman who is savvy enough to find this blog, so I better be careful what I say...um...good luck, right?

Maybe that isn't so crazy. At this point in my life, I'd prefer a period of old-fashioned courtship instead of a quick and pointless affair - I have this strangely  non-male desire to actually like the person that I'm having sex with and to have the kind of  relationship that grows past 140 characters.

So far, my search isn't going especially well, at least not measured in quantity, but that is to be expected.

I'm not an easy fit in the 'web-date' pigeonholes and I've met feral children equipped with better social filters than myself...but I got a few replies that were sincere and one in particular that I find quite attractive- she's smart, funny, impressively self-possessed, creatively expressive and she even took the time to listen to me on last night's radio show -and said that she enjoyed it!

So I just asked her out and I am anxiously waiting her reply as I type this...blogging as a combination distraction/confession , if you will.

(UPDATE: She said yes!)

Wish me luck. Life is good , but I need a real girlfriend to share it with- one that doesn't have a husband and/or multiple boyfriends and  who isn't ashamed to be seen in public with me and with her friends -and my friends.

The closest to getting laid that I've come in the last month or so was the giant screw that I found embedded in my car's tire. The screw was actually preventing the air from escaping, but any leak- even a slow leak- is a bad thing, so I took it in to a garage to see if the tyre could be repaired.

No, it couldn't, and hey, how about that alignment wear on the other ones?...it was long, expensive afternoon, but at least I'm driving again.

Spreadsheets? The less said about them, the better.

Piano? Ah! I did a guest DJ spot for my friend P.Swann on her excellent show 'Can't Stop The Music'. Her show is "cheesy goodness", so I got to play quite a bit of material that I wouldn't normally play on my own show, my own show being all deadly-serious and wot.

Oh yeah...drugs. I forgot to mention them. What I meant to say was that the following two broadcasts might make a lot more sense if you are really, really high.

But don't take my word for it, get yer podcasts here:

NEW BREAKFAST SNOB: 5/28/2011

CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC: 5/29/2011


THE NEW BREAKFAST SNOB, MAY 28th 2011

Traffic- Walking In The Wind

Larry Graham - Can't Stand The Rain

Hot Tuna- See The Light

Good Rats
-Does It Make You Feel Good?

The Purrs- Fear of Flying

Chrome- Meet You In The Subway

MX-80 Sound- Lady In Pain

Gil Scott-Heron - The Bottle

Osibisa- Y Sharp

Al Kooper- The Monkey Time

Astronauts of Antiquity- Soup du Jour

Bob Dylan- Isis

XTC- Scarecrow People

The Kinks- Nobody Gives

Manfred Mann's Earth Band- Road To Babylon

Clannad- Struggle

Rare Earth- Long Time Leaving

Ten Years After- If You Should Love Me

Steve Hillage- Palm Trees (Love Guitar)

Slick/Kantner- Silver Spoon

Michael H. Price- Save Me A Slice of That

Lou Reed- Senselessly Cruel

Roxy Music- Pyjamarama

David Lindley & El-Rayo X
- Make It On Time



Can't Stop The Music , May 29th 2011: New Breakfast Snob Guest Edition


Will Bradley- Beat Me Daddy, Eight To The Bar

Mother Gong- The Upwardly Mobile Song

Danny Kaye
- Ballin' The Jack

Golden Gate Quartet- Atom and Evil

Louis Armstrong
- A Kiss To Build A Dream On

Nirvana Sitar and String Group
- The Letter

Dinah Shore and the Pied Pipers
- Tic,Tic,Tic

Miraim Makebe- For What It's Worth

Katie Lee- Properly Loved

Check Other- Night of the Living Dead

Bob Crosby and his BobCats
- Dear Hearts and Gentle People

Marcy -The Gospel Express

Adriana- The Garden of Sin-

Swing on a Star
-

National Lampoon- Deteriata-

Southern Sons Quartet
- Praise The Lord and Pass The Ammunition-

Skorkian- Hot Butter-

- Dinah Shore- Blues in the Night

The Ink Spots- Address Unknown-

Mike H. Price-
Love Roller Coaster-

 Myrtle Hilo- Lover's Prayer

Katie Lee- Will To Fail

Al Jolson- Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Ray Manzarek- Art Deco Fandango-

Herbie Hancock- Fat Mama

Petula Clark
- Fill The World With Love

- The Ramones
- Beat on the Brat

Lou Reed- Rock and Roll Heart

Betty Hutton- He's A Demon

Danny Kaye -Slow Boat To China

Mike H. Price-
Till The Real Thing Comes Along

Jonathon Coulton- Skullcrusher Mountain

Telly Savalas-
Sunday Morning Coming Down-

The Ink Spots- Bless You For Being an Angel-

(With special thanks to Mr. F.LeMur for the infospots)


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4 comments:

billy pilgrim said...

chicks dig corollas!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

wow..some of that music just blows me away..I can't get your station on my computer any more..have tried and nothing happends..feck.
wish my daughter was stable enough for you..I think you'd like her and I know she'd like you..but she is still in the process of getting her shit together..but if you ever find your way to san francisco, let me know.

Allan said...

JS- Click on the links in the post, scroll down to the bottom of the page the link takes you to and download the whole show from there.There is a link to my podcast archive on the sidebar too.

Are you clicking on the link on the station website? It should ask you of you wanna open a file...say 'yes'.

Angel said...

Have I mentioned how much I like the podcasts!? I have your show belting full blast in my kitchen when I bake!
As for the dating site, well you're certainly having more luck than I ever did. And I tried to filter my criteria as much as I could- still with no luck! And then I put my picture up and got NO replies! Talk about embarrassing!
:P