Sunday, June 05, 2011
How Lil' Kim Gave Me My Groove Back
You probably wouldn't think that North Korea's megalomaniac despot Lil' Kim would have much to do with my ongoing search for love, and 99.99% of the time that would be a good thing, because the less that Lil' Kim has to do with your love-life, the better.
To paraphrase Tom Robbins: "The song Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing was not composed in North Korea."
But not long ago I started a correspondence with a young local woman who told me that her dream vacation was to visit North Korea. In my book, expressing a desire to visit one of the most brutally oppressive nations on the planet is a really good conversational gambit, so I followed up on that.
She told me that N. Korea has been granting more Western tourist access lately, that of course it was all State-Propaganda-Doctrine-Dinners and visits to faked-up 'worker's paradises', but it is apparently dirt cheap and the food (taken from the mouths of starving children, no doubt) is supposed to be top-notch.
Plus, it will be on the last chance we will have to see a corrupt, crumbling ninth-world communist hell-hole up-close and personal while it is in mid-decline, as most of those opportunities vanished with the demise of the Cold War and subsequent dismantlement of the Eastern Bloc.
Clearly, this was my kinda girl.
But before we could make our travel plans, I met another young woman on line. Of the countless hundreds of local women on-line, she was the only one who appeared when I refined my search by adding 'atheist' as a descriptor.
The only one. One. One is the perfect number for me.
So we chatted on-line until dawn and the next night we went out...we met the corner bar, where she had a beer and I had tea...it really doesn't bother me to be in bars (unless smoking is allowed), especially if I'm in rapt conversation with a lovely and utterly, unbelievably, engaging woman. Then we went to see our local minor-league baseball team play- which was her idea!- and had a great time sitting in the nosebleeds, watching people more than the actual game. It turns out we are both NFL fans and are both just biding time until something happens on that particular miserable front...but a football fan! How cool is that?
We talked about our mutual 'dating' adventures and I told her that so far the second-most alluring dating offer I'd gotten was to tour North Korea, which I was actually sorta into.
My new friend then informed me that she'd been stationed in Korea while in the Army and that in her opinion there might be better vacation spots than North Korea...she might have included Turkish prisons or the interior of a live volcano on that list.
Clearly this was also my kind of girl.
After the game, we had more beer and tea and after the bar closed, we sat together on what passes for my front porch and shared our first kiss.
Neither one of us was in a particular hurry to say good-bye this morning, but we did. We sent each other simultaneous thank you notes and wound up chatting for hours, despite having just parted.
Life is getting better, it really is.
And I had a really awesome radio show too:
THE NEW BREAKFAST SNOB, JUNE 4, 2011
The Kinks- Scum Of The Earth
BeBop Deluxe- Piece of Mine
Generic Tribe- Seven Pounds
Geraldine Fibbers- A Song About Walls
Stackridge- Spin Round The Room
Randy Newman- Back On My Feet Again
Captain Beefheart- Nowadays A Woman's Gotta Hit A Man
Happy Birthday- Birthday Party
Excesses- Klark Kent
Astronauts of Antiquity- Strangest Places
Green Man- She Moved Through The Fair
Melomane- Even Though You're Born Toulose
Cat Nights Begin-Funkadelicatessan
Frames- Live Forever
Concrete Blonde- Tomorrow, Wendy
Stefanie Seskin- I Just Keep On
Damien Dempsey- Patience
Claanad- The Other Side
Joan As Policewoman- Holiday
Monday Machines- Ruined Morning
Dropkick Murphys- Shipping Off To Boston
Eman and Friends- Come To Poland
Jefferson Airplane- 3/5 of a Mile in Ten Seconds
Loreena McKinnett- Mummer's Dance
Manda Mosher- Lay Me Down
Jen Foster- Broken
Scream Daisy- Bees
Leo Kottke- Nothin' Works
Who knows what the future holds?