The Sun : A Bright Spot

The sky will fall on December 21, 2012. Or maybe the 22nd.

There are sites that sorta explain it. One site quotes a real NASA report that states:

Many forecasters believe Solar Cycle 24 will be big and intense. Peaking in 2011 or 2012, the cycle to come could have significant impacts on telecommunications, air traffic, power grids and GPS systems. (And don't forget the Northern Lights!) In this age of satellites and cell phones, the next solar cycle could make itself felt as never before."

The rather alarming headline on the non-NASA site:
NASA Announces 2012 Destruction Probable

Dude! Ahhhhh!!! Run!!!

NASA made no such announcement.
What NASA said is that solar activity, which according to predictable cyclic movements is due to peak in 2011 or 2012, may have a significant impact on modern electronic communications. Losing your Wi-Fi sucks. It is not, however, the end of the world.

The author interprets "2011 or 2012" thusly:

I find it quite a coincidence that this major happening is forecasted (sic) for 2012, as this exact timing correlates to the ancient Mayan prediction of the end of the dimension.

Pardon my English, but "2011 or 2012 " is not an "exact time" at all- it's a vague range of dates. And what does "end of the dimension" mean anyway?


The site will also sell you mp3 files that will give you "Psychic Powers" if you download them-for a fee...I see a rip-off in the future.
That's the bad news.
The good news?
There isn't much future left.
The future, as everyone who isn't me knows, is scheduled to end on or around 12/22/2012.


See, there are some Cosmic Alignments taking place in 2012.

- There will be a Transit of Venus across the Sun, an event so rare that it hasn't happened since 2004.

- There will be, as noted above, an usually active period of solar magnetism; a Solar Maximum, as described by NASA. This hasn't happened since 1958.
We might see awesome Northern Lights and experience really crappy cell-phone coverage.
My advice: Stock up on ammunition, barbed-wire and books.

- According to experts, there will be a Galactic Alignment - the winter solstice Sun will align with the Milky Way's equator or something...NASA is trying keep this information under wraps, which sort of proves that it's gonna happen...the Government Eggheads don't want us to know, but it's too late...the secret is out.
According to expert interpretation of ancient Mayan astronomy, the Alignment will occur on Dec. 21st (or the 22nd), 2012- the final day of the Mayan Calender, give or take thirty-six years.

-My Car Talk desk calender ends on 12/31/2008. This is pretty close to 12/22/2102.
Nine days and four years, to be precise.
Nine plus four equals thirteen.
According to experts, 13 is a magickal number.
Quite a coincidence, eh?

- This Alignment will place us in the path of a Comet/Planet named Nimburu. NASA recently sent an unmanned probe (code name Deep Impact) to a comet's surface - allegedly for the sake of so-called "scientific research". The real mission was to test the feasibility of planting a nuclear 'bunker buster' bomb under the comet's surface...if successful, this technology will be used in a vain attempt to prevent NIMBURU from smashing into the Earth and turning us all into fossil fuel, just like it did to the dinosaurs.

-Some experts claim that the World is gonna End. This might be true if your life depends on GPS technology...winter of 2012 will be a bad time to be lost in the woods. Even a traditional compass might not work, the earth's magnetic field might be all fuckity...you could try to get your bearings from the stars, but the Earth might be shifted on it's axis, so even if you know how to navigate old school, the stars won't be where they should be...or they'll be obscured by a fiery, toxic, earth-encompassing cloud of post-collision soot and debris.
My advice: Choose your 2012 winter vacation site wisely. Deep underground or off-planet is best.

The 'glass half-empty' crowd can concern itself with the short-term inconveniences produced by a comet-induced global extinction, but I think it's better to be optimistic about such things- every life-smothering cloud of inter-planetary dust has a silver lining if you look hard enough.

To an oil-dependent optimist, the idea of a Earth/comet collision is good news, because oil is actually a renewable resource. Fossil fuels are called "fossil" because they are composed of old, dead things. In the 'big picture', oil is the ultimate Biofuel- it can be made from just about everyone, given enough patience and sacrifice.

Sure, it will be difficult on us , our kids and their grand-kids, but ten million generations from now our descendants will once again have cheap, plentiful gasoline.
They will enjoy this ample supply for roughly one hundred years; after which a comet once again hits Earth, everyone dies and the 250 million-year cycle begins anew, give or take a few years.

Let's take the far-thinking approach.
The driver of today is the gasoline of tomorrow.
Together we can be the future.

Look to the stars.
See ya in the tank.

Fissure, Cut , Bait

Um, er...a while back I met this woman on the internet, right? We exchanged a few emails and very quickly she asked this question:

Do you believe?

I replied: Do you mean "in God" ? No. I am a secular humanist and a scientific rationalist.

I figured that would end our correspondence but it didn't. Instead , she wrote back with an invitation to frolic, saying that she didn't believe in God per se , but she had a "strong spiritual side"...was I OK with that?

I can grok. Sorta.

I think that most of us have moments where the Cosmos seem to open wide and say: "See? This is special and it's for you."
I have had a few of these, some good, some not; they have usually been triggered by life-or-death situations, but I digress...

The feeling that one gets during such an epiphanic episode can easily be described as spiritual; the insights gained can change the core of one's consciousness (or soul, or spirit, whichever term you prefer), which in turn leads to a profound change in the way one thinks, which, in turn leads to significant changes in behavior. This process is sometimes referred to as 'enlightenment'.

It's my opinion that this rush of 'spiritual' awareness is simply the by-product of chemicals released in the brain during moments of intense neural imprinting, that the mind is literally creating new pathways for the intra-cranial transmission of thoughts and that it is the chemicals released during these bouts of cerebral re-construction that are responsible for the transcendental feelings that one experiences at the time.
I could be wrong- any good scientist will readily admit that science can be mistaken- in any case it would be a difficult experiment to conduct.

To me, the cause is secondary to the effect. The feeling is real, powerful and not to be disregarded, no matter what the origin. Digressing again...

So, anyway, my penpal writes back and tells me about this woman, a self-professed "psychic medium", that her teacher at Massage School had introduced her to. This "medium" somehow knew a great deal of private information about my penpal... things about her dead father, her kids, that she was graduating from Rubdown College...wait, said the medium in mid-sentence...I can hear a voice...your father is here, he says he is proud of you...my penpal was very impressed and spooked.

I am not so gullible. I'd wager that the "medium" and the masseuse are in cahoots and that my e-pal was being set up for a fleecing.

This left me with two choices:
- I could play along and go for the easy lay.
- I could be honest and forget about the sex.

I chose the honest approach. I asked her if the "medium" knew anything about her that her teacher didn't know. I suggested the possibility that the "medium" had gleaned the information from the teacher who had introduced them to each other, i.e., the teacher knows you are graduating, therefore so does the "psychic"; with this pre-knowledge, it's no stretch to say "your father tells you he is proud."

I also ventured that I don't know how to identify a 'real' psychic, but I do know how to spot a fake one- if the 'professional' psychic/palmist/card-reader/witch-doctor/whatever has a storefront and/or a roadside sign, then they are a fraud; that the 'professionals' are merely very clever con artists.
I left out the part about them preying on needy people in desperate straits.

No reply.



Look carefully at the picture below. That is a simple three-ring binder with color inserts that look as if they were produced using Word and a Laserjet. That's because they were. It's an ebook. Inside the binder you will find a user-friendly guide to developing your clairvoyant and magickal skills.
It can be purchased used (?) on eBay or downloaded from the source. Use Visa if you dare.
Call me cynical, but I don't think the Secrets to the Universe are available as a commercial download.
I'd wager that they aren't for sale at all.

If the people selling these books truly possessed clairvoyant powers they wouldn't have to ask for your credit-card number. They could scry it.

If I possessed the ability to predict the future, talk to the dead, see distant places and/or read minds, I wouldn't lease a shabby storefront on the bad side of town, hang a sign out front and create a 'consultation parlor' decorated with colorful props such as these:
I'd go to Vegas. Or play the NYSE. Or find Blackbeard's Lost Treasure. I'd certainly keep my abilities to myself- in the past, the CIA has conducted experiments with remote viewing (clairvoyance) , using human test subjects...SRI, a research institute hired to help with this work, states on their website:

In the 1970s and 1980s SRI was contracted by a U.S. government agency to research some aspects of remote viewing. As this work was performed for clients, SRI no longer has the records relating to the research. All such records were returned to the clients.
SRI International is not currently involved in parapsychological research and has had no involvement in such research since 1990 when the last of staff working on the project retired or joined other organizations.

Your tax dollars at work.

Perhaps I read too many X-Men comics as a kid, but I can't help but think that the Government would do it's best to hunt down and exploit militarily useful mutants. I'd stay mum on the ESP for my own safety.




One needn't be a psychic to 'read minds'.

I spent the Nineties shilling VHS tapes at Sci-Fi conventions . My boss, Mario, could talk to an a geek about comics or cartoons for five minutes and intuitively deduce the nerd's entire life history...how many siblings they had, where they grew up, how old they were...he could establish all of that with amazing speed and accuracy.

Mario didn't have psychic powers, he had an encyclopedic knowledge of TV shows and newsstand distribution of magazines circa 1950's-1990's; he knew what shows aired in what market and when they aired (before cable, this was easy) ; he also knew that certain comics and magazines were distributed in certain regions and not in others... Mario's mind would take the geek's favorite TV shows and comics, cross-reference and combine them with other clues (accent, slang, clothes etc) and peg the person's background with startling detail... "you are from Detroit, right? Only child...late 1960's ... Dad is Canadian, eh?"

Bingo! Another sale!

Mario is currently selling cars in Atlanta. He's the best salesman that the dealership has.