I don't mean raw lust or crucifixion-based passions, I refer to the creative and/or romantic spirit that drives us to write songs and stories, carve figures out of stone, stay up all night painting, fall in love and write poetry about it- that kind of passion.
Now I know why I quit the last band I was in. It just didn't excite me and I couldn't put my heart into it-even if it's a punk cover band, it's still a cover band.
I'm a song-writer-I can't get into playing an entire set of songs that I have no creative input towards.
I'd been trying to rationalize why I left-too busy, practice is far away and late at night etc. etc.
The truth is that it just left me unsatisfied, not because I wanted more, but rather because I want different. If that sounds selfish, it probably is. So be it.
I am happier recording my own songs, alone in my bedroom/studio, than I am playing in a band I don't care about. It doesn't matter if anyone ever hears these songs or not,that's not the point. It's just something I have to do.
If you are reading this, you most likely have a blog;if you have a blog there's a good chance that there are one or more things that you care deeply about. You might not even know it now, and some passions change as you get older, but if you reflect a bit I imagine you'll go "A-HA! Without(fill-in-blank) existence would be hollow and aimless!"
Not a hobby-we have a large part in choosing our hobbies. Our passions tend to choose us.
That good thing or things that you would keep doing even if you received a letter saying, "We ignore you"-signed,The World.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, quite the opposite.
Tonight, turn off the computer and work on that painting, or finish that song that needs a new chorus. Touch up the dialogue on that short-story-it's pretty good,but it need a little revision.
Unless your passion is blogging, computer graphics or you use the PC to write.
In that case keep hands away from the 'off' button and let it all out.
3 comments:
I started college as a Nursing major. I had worked as a CNA and was very good at it. The interaction with patients was my favorite part, and I honestly felt like I made a difference. But when I started college I found that when I didn't want to get up in the morning all I had to do was look at my syllabus to see what we were discussing in my literature class and I was giddy and bouncing out the door. I changed my major the next semester.
Another one of my passions is writing, and lately it has all been blog based. In addition to my public blog, I have two blogs on which I post under alternate names. Some of it's true, some of it's not, all of it is what fulfills me.
Thanks for a post that made me smile for an entirely different reason than your bitter posts. This one made me "smile all over my insides."
I suspected you might be a well-read writer type. That's a very good thing. I look forward to reading your first book-unless it's already out.Then I missed it.What are your plans as far as printed word?
I think blog is a great way to collect ideas and fragments that could be assembled into an interesting book,some of which is true and some of which is not.
I'm happy you got smiley innards- I realized that if I could feel let down and forlorn, I could also feel hopeful and inspired. I need to work on expressing good feelings,but hey, it's a start.
No book out as this point. It's something I imagine will happen eventually because I want to be a college professor and then you're supposed to get pulished so the school can weasle money out of the government. Plus, a lot of colleges have a University Press and that makes it a bit easier.
The thing is, I have no idea what I publish. I have poetry that's mostly bad with occasional insights, I write essays fairly well, but a book of essays - how very droll, the only interesteing thing I write consistently well is erotica and I don't know that I want that as my first publication.
Meh. Blogging works for now though.
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