Almost lapsed into a sickly-sweet contented daydream coma. Can't have that. I'll dwell on things that piss me off until I feel normal.
1) Goddamn Hewlitt-Packard piece of shit! My freakin' motherboard needs to be replaced again. That's three times in less than three years. It's covered, but I have to take time off from work (see #2 below) for a service call. I really miss my email. The tech I talked to on the phone kept going off on tangents about his grandmother's funeral in 1979 and his stint in the Air Force and how the Cowboys are gonna suck this year-after a few hours he decided I needed a new motherboard. That's the very first thing I told him when I placed the call-"I need a new motherboard". He asked me if the computer was plugged in and turned on. Well, shit. Ya know , I didn't know you had to plug the damn thing in! Gimme my motherboard, motherfucker!
2) I cannot get a straight answer from work about anything. We are moving you here. Oops. We meant there instead . No, the other there. Just sit tight for now. We'll let you know at the absolute last moment what we need you to do.
I may go to Florida, or I may move to a different damncube in the same office. Right now I don't even know what my hours are. We are sending a Catastrophe team to Florida, but the building the company leased doesn't exist anymore-perhaps you've seen the rubble on TV? For some reason, all the motels that aren't flattened are booked up. I've heard horror stories about sleeping on office floors after Hurricane Andrew-if I wanted to sleep on the office floor I'd drink at work. I hope I don't go.
That's it? Where's all my outrage? Politics notwithstanding, I'm not feeling like the Human Torch today. How unusual. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy, like that tiny patch of soft down that's between two particular shoulderblades. Next to those three freckles that form a perfect triangle... oh bloody hell! I'm doing it again!
Damn! I can't turn into the Hulk today. Even Bruce Banner could kick my ass, and we all know what a wuss he is.
Don't worry. I'm sure something truly awful will come along soon enough. It always does. Maybe it already has, and I'm just too ga-ga to care. Very, very strange.
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