Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Meet The New Box

The new damncube is much like the old damncube, with one significant difference: No phone or data lines. I would be fine with that, it would reduce the possibility of doing any work to virtually nil. I said I'd be happy to just sit and read all day. They thought I was kidding.
Maybe I'll move tomorrow. This job can't last much longer-they sent a new adjustor up to work on the files and she's already bored. Told her to work slowly.

Still no PC at home-that's OK, it gives me time to focus on other, more important things.
Sure am glad I didn't give away my Playstation!

I got a new neighbor this month-at least it sounds like I do. Someone's been walking up and down the stairs and yesterday I smelled onions and peppers cooking. Yum! Haven't seen anyone though. Could be a ghost, or some squatters or a crazed, reclusive hermit type. I hope they're deaf, 'cause I was playing some really abrasive licks on my guitar last night. I think I came very close to shattering my windows. Made the cat puff up. Set off a car alarm outside. I am Rock God. Be glad you don't live on my block.

Instead of the usual barrage of Freudian/Lewis Carroll/Dante's Inferno imagery, I had a music dream. I forget who I was playing with, but I remember thinking that this was gonna be one helluva guitar solo (sometimes you just know these things) . Just when I was getting ready to hit the first note, the alarm wakes me up. Fuckin' lousy timing.

I'm still feeling strange. Can't quite dredge up my normal, manic-depressive, semi-coherent ,paranoid rage, and I can't quite allow myself to be happy. There's a word for me being happy-it's "jinx". If I get too optimistic, shit falls apart. If I get too pessimistic my fears are inevitably realized.

Shit, I'm lying. My mind is teeming with implausible and unwanted paranoid scenarios, plus one or two highly probable possibilities. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. I'd be more specific, but giving voice to my suspicions will make them so. Maybe another pot of coffee will still my thoughts.

I wish I was smart enough to figure this out-or stupid enough to not notice. Or shallow enough to not care.

By the time the Earth is swallowed up by our dying Sun, none of this will matter.

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