Kudos, Riddle and Hurled Monkey Droppings

Good grief- I've been so worked-up about my job -which, after examination, I don't seem to want very much anyway- that I almost missed out on a good chance to spend the workday emailing myself links and stuff to read later.

My boss isn't giving me a hard time for doing fuck-all; he's just glad I haven't quit. He's giving me tomorrow off w/pay to help compensate for the holiday pay the Company screwed me out off. My beef is not with him.

Not that I am in a state of beeflessness-far from it- but my Mad Cow seems to have a gentler , almost benevolent counterpart. It is in this spirit of Bovine Grace that I will begin by saying good things.
*ahem*

Kudos :

-To my old pal Jerky for turning me on to this excellent essay.

-To my less-old pal Dusti for bringing up this story , which describes some Cosmic-Scale Bullsh*t - basically , a guy claims that on-line gambling will help people develop better computer and internet skills, thus enriching their lives and making them happier, more productive citizens. The guy just happens to own a racing track w/ casino -style betting machines.
( Besides, everyone knows that the best way to learn internet skills is by surfing for free porn. The best way to learn computer skills is by hunting down and killing the viruses you get from downloading free porn. )

- To the Defeatists for not asking :
Q: What's loud , purple and red all over the place?

And not answering:
A: Suicide Bomber Barney

- To the Pittsburgh Steelers for beating the goddamn Colts.
- To the New England Patriots for not winning.

- Speaking of Pittsburgh, here's a cheer to (she-knows -who-she is) for providing some very useful information via this service. There's a report on all of us- and it's probably full of errors and mistakes that could really cause problems later. Comforting!
(TIP: a credit rating below 400 is like Kryptonite to identity thieves.Word!)


Fistfuls of Monkey Shit:

- To the Bush administration for having to mount yet another campaign of excuses, lies and denial to cover their mistakes on yet another fucked-up program, policy or blatant falsehood.
WMD.
Abu Ghraib.
Social security.
Medicare Part D.
Harriet Miers.
Torture, Secret Prisons and CIA kidnappings.
Unconstitutional Wiretapping.
Katrina and Michael Brown.

All this- and Der Chimp is still struggling to convince us that invading Iraq was a darn good idea.

- Shit upon the Dept. of Justice for suspecting everyone of being involved in illegal smut. Clearly, they have motives that extend far beyond protecting us from the tired old bugaboo of internet porn. Does the NSA really need to know that you did a lot of Google searches regarding a very personal and somewhat embarassing medical condition?
I hope not.
In any case , this is a very slippery slope- MSN and Yahoo are already greedily helping China quash dissenting bloggers- a tip o' the hump to Google for refusing to comply so far.

Consider this: if we are really winning the "War on Terra" , why are we resorting to desperate last-ditch measures such as randomly trolling search-engine results for "terra-related activity"? Why not just grab a phonebook and call people at random-
"Hello? NSA here. Is Osama in your basement? No? Good.
Oh yeah, are you a perv? Our records indicate such and such.
We think you're either a perv or a terrorist. Surrender."