I'm riding the bus home, minding my own business, when these marvelous legs walk by- they distract me from the book I'm reading- and wham! I realize there's a whole woman attached to those legs.
The whole woman sits next to me- she's in her 30's I guess, of mixed Asian-African blood -again, a guess. Stunningly pretty and dressed in what I call 'office-fuckable' style; an almost too-short black skirt, sheer stockings that should be red, but aren't and -oh my stars!
Garters .
I violate public transportation etiquette and smile at her as she sits down.
She smiles back.
I'm reading The Last Days of Socrates.
I wonder if I should hide it or make sure she sees it.
"Did you make any money today?," she asks.
Huh?
Fuck no, I was at work- I almost say this, but I see that she's talking into a headset phone.
Man, I hate those things... I don't like being around people who talk to themselves...anyway, she starts asking someone questions- I decide to answer them in my head, since there's no way I'm going to be able to read Plato with this hotness quizzing and babbling next to me:
"Do you need some cigarettes? I can get you some"
No. I don't smoke. See, I read Plato. That makes me too smart to smoke.
"How about beer? I only have two. Do you want some more?"
No, thanks. I quit drinking 10 months ago-besides, I'm only interested in sex, and I'd like to be sober for that. You will probably want to get drunk first , though.
"Michelob? I don't think they sell that. How about Heineken?"
Michelob? Do they still make that pisswater? Who are you talking to anyway?
The 1980's?
"Don't worry about tomorrow night either- I've got you covered for that."
There's going to be a 'tomorrow night' ! Where have you been all my life?
"I said, don't worry about it. Now, what would you like for dinner tonight?"
I want you, in every conceivable fashion. Right here on the bus is fine. Later, I'll cover you with dessert and lick you clean.
" No, ribs are OK with me. I'll call it in and you can pick them up on the way over."
Dump that guy. Marry me. We'll have beautiful riblings.
The bus driver reminds me that I've missed my stop. I have to back-track three blocks.
It starts raining as soon as I exit the bus.
7 comments:
Well ya had me going with the first questions. I thought you were going to be like George in that Seinfeld episode-- see it could have been worse!
You know what I hate msot, after hands-free thingies? People with hands-free.. With the phone in their hand and the other hand holdig the mic to their mouth. So much for hands-free.
Btw. Is this normal behavior? This... Dialoge inside ones head? Because damn .. People must have done that with me many times. I'm so hot. Geeze.. I've had thousands of conversations I never knew of...
Must be looked into.
Of course I'm only getting one side of the conversation, but boy on the other end sounds like a loser to me.
Em- You're asking me about "normal" behavior? I dunno about the internal dialogue thing- I keep getting the words in my head confused with my thoughts.
Look into that.
Hey- Welcome to the USA! Be careful- everyone's armed and dangerous.
S-A total hottie is buying beer, smokes and ribs for the loser boy-
sounds like he'ds doing OK.
Weird- at one point in my life I didn't have a job or even a home- but I got laid all the time.
When I finally got it together, my "girlfriends" went away, which is odd, because I got jobs so I could stop mooching off them...
I have met,courted, married,and raised children with women in the space of about 3 minutes..
Sling- yep. Me too.
hey, i have these internal conversations with people all the time. whew. thank god i'm not alone.
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