Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Harsh Reminder

I got pulled off my new temp job this morning and was asked to help out in the Mail Room. The regular Mail Girl had complained of chest and back pains and was taken to hospital. After a few hours of sorting and stamping , we got a call that the doctors had found a blood clot and were admitting the poor girl for emergency surgery. If she hadn't gone to the ER she would have died within a few hours...Mail Girl is, I believe, in her early to mid 20's and she seemed fine yesterday- today she barely escaped death, she had to be talked into going to hospital, apparently she didn't want to go, which is understandable.

We were reallly busy earlier, but during lunch I had some quiet time to reflect on my own near-death experience and how I had to convince myself to go to the ER. If I hadn't done that, this post wouldn't be here, as I'd be dead. I don't know who talked Mail Girl into going, but I'm glad they managed to do it- otherwise she'd be dead and she's much too young to die. My heart goes out to her.

I am fully aware that any day may be the last...for any one of us. It's tempting to give into that fear and shut down, wall-off and deny, deny,, actually, it's not tempting at all.

I'll tell you what is tempting: I'm tempted to shed the last tattered bandage of fear and doubt and take a long, honest look at my own wounds and afflictions. Until very recently, I was unaware that I suffer from a common but rarely mentioned disorder: I have an Ingrown Heart.

I have done as much work on myself as I can but it's a serious condition and I can't fix it without help and help is not something that is easy for me to ask for. Fortunately, I didn't have to ask, it was freely offered.
Last year, I celebrated Independence Day by hitting a deer and wrecking my car on the way to visit my dying grandmother...shortly after I got back from that 'vacation', I was given the Pink Slip at work and life sort of went downhill from there, so I find it ironic that I have Open Heart Surgery scheduled for the July 4th weekend this year.
Don't fear, it's not medical surgery and I won't be in a hospital for it, but it needs to be done and so it shall.

What is a life worth? It's worth living, is what. I suggest you take advantage of it while you can.

That is all.


citizen of the world said...


yellowdog granny said...

holy shit!...glad mail girl is ok..and hope you will be ok as well...thankful every day you are here as my friend..

Susannity said...

jeez. I hope mail girl is ok. One of my good friends is 35 and has terminal cancer that will take a few years to slowly kill her. Life makes no sense sometimes.
I hope your surgery is successful!

whimsical brainpan said...

You know how glad I am that you are still here.

I think this is one of my favorite posts.

I know your "surgery" will be successful but will you be able to recover? ;-)

Lyzard said...

I suggest that life is not for merely living, but for squeezing every last bit of human experience from its grasp until rigor sets in.

Eventually we all must go, but when I go I will not go gently. I suggest the same for you.

billy pilgrim said...

i'm not sure what an ingrown heart is but it sounds like you something up your sleeve.

i'm just waiting for that miserable prick paul lazzaro to fulfill his prophecy.

Sling said...

No kidding,every morning I think to myself,'I wonder if today is the day I'll die'..It usually never is.

Allan said...

CW- I had a feeling you would grok that post.

JS- I hear mixed reports on, I'm gonna be fine. Way, way fine...thank you.

Sus- Damn, that is terrible. I hope she gets some good time and doesn't suffer. Death doesn't scare me but the process of dying terrifies me, if that makes sense.
I have high hopes for my upcoming procedure

Whim- I'm glad you liked that. Will I recover? You'll be the first to know.

Lyz- I'm all about the squeezing!

BP- Oh yeah.

Sling- I hope your streak continues for many, many years.

beth said...


Is it the same condition that the Grinch had?

Why July 4th?