Tubes and Holes

" Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. "
-Arthur C. Clarke


"The Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes."
-Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens

With that , Stevens unwittingly proved Clarke to be correct.

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I would offer this:

Any sufficiently degraded tube is indistinguishable from a Voodoo curse.

The first in my series of accursed tubes are somewhere near my automobile's engine. At times, bitter white smoke puffs out from under my hood-a quick diagnosis with a flashlight and screwdriver led me to conclude that some tube-like device has a tiny leak and is spraying coolant on my heated engine, causing it to smoke and unfortunately, the leak is "down in there" somewhere where I can't easily get to it. My Twin suggested that I try adding a tube of goop and seeing if that seals it- I tried it this evening and no smoke yet, but it's an intermittent problem, so I'm not convinced that it's fixed. Still, I made it home without any hood smoke.

Saturday morning, I was rinsing last night's dishes when the sink tubes stopped draining entirely. I went to the station, did my show and came back several hours later- the water was still there, a few bits of cilantro floating motionless at the surface. I took the dishes out and set to work.

After thirty futile minutes of plunger-based aerobics, I decided to take the tubes underneath the sink apart, but the pipes weren't clogged, just full of foul water, so I guessed that the blockage must be deeper in the line.

After draining the bilge-water from the tubes, I re-assembled the fittings- somehow managing to draw blood on both hands- and poured a liter of De-Clog Goo down the drain. The next day, it drained very, very slowly. Better than nothing.

Yesterday I repeated the process and this morning it drained quickly without a fuss.

Today I was pumping gas when I noticed that there was a gasoline puddle forming under my car as I poured. There is a leak in my fuel input tube and a small portion of my hard-earned gas was leaking onto the ground. As I was squatting, looking at the fuel drip from underneath my car, a helpful stranger noted," it looks like you have a gas leak".
Thanks, buddy. Got a match?

My next radio show falls on Valentine's Day. I'm going to have a contest: "Win A Date With A DJ." The first female caller wins coffee with me. The runner-up wins dinner.

A Harsh Reminder

I got pulled off my new temp job this morning and was asked to help out in the Mail Room. The regular Mail Girl had complained of chest and back pains and was taken to hospital. After a few hours of sorting and stamping , we got a call that the doctors had found a blood clot and were admitting the poor girl for emergency surgery. If she hadn't gone to the ER she would have died within a few hours...Mail Girl is, I believe, in her early to mid 20's and she seemed fine yesterday- today she barely escaped death, she had to be talked into going to hospital, apparently she didn't want to go, which is understandable.

We were reallly busy earlier, but during lunch I had some quiet time to reflect on my own near-death experience and how I had to convince myself to go to the ER. If I hadn't done that, this post wouldn't be here, as I'd be dead. I don't know who talked Mail Girl into going, but I'm glad they managed to do it- otherwise she'd be dead and she's much too young to die. My heart goes out to her.

I am fully aware that any day may be the last...for any one of us. It's tempting to give into that fear and shut down, wall-off and deny, deny, deny...no, actually, it's not tempting at all.

I'll tell you what is tempting: I'm tempted to shed the last tattered bandage of fear and doubt and take a long, honest look at my own wounds and afflictions. Until very recently, I was unaware that I suffer from a common but rarely mentioned disorder: I have an Ingrown Heart.

I have done as much work on myself as I can but it's a serious condition and I can't fix it without help and help is not something that is easy for me to ask for. Fortunately, I didn't have to ask, it was freely offered.
Last year, I celebrated Independence Day by hitting a deer and wrecking my car on the way to visit my dying grandmother...shortly after I got back from that 'vacation', I was given the Pink Slip at work and life sort of went downhill from there, so I find it ironic that I have Open Heart Surgery scheduled for the July 4th weekend this year.
Don't fear, it's not medical surgery and I won't be in a hospital for it, but it needs to be done and so it shall.

What is a life worth? It's worth living, is what. I suggest you take advantage of it while you can.

That is all.