Thursday, September 04, 2008

Time For A Third Party

--- ------VETTING THE CANDIDATE-------------

I have quite a few friends and acquaintances who believe that America sorely needs a viable Third Political Party to better represent the interests of it's citizens. I somewhat agree, it's a great ideal but it's not a very practical idea- however, I have my own plan:

I'd like to see the creation of a Third Party; one that, much like the Greens and the Libertarians, has absolutely no chance of winning a national election, the difference being that my Third Party would place the best interests of the Nation and it's people near the bottom of it's rigidly dogmatic platform.

My party will be called The Divine Right(wing) Party and it will be entirely comprised of radical social conservatives and hardcore Christian evangelicals, a group that makes up approximately ten to fifteen percent of the electorate.

Why, pray tell, would a godless, liberal pseudo-Socialist advocate for the formation of a Third Party that pushes a platform of inflexible Biblical doctrine as a foundation for Government?

In a word: Reform.

It would be much easier to reform and rehabilitate the two established parties if the religiously insane members of said parties would go away- but as it stands they don't really have anywhere to go but to go Republican -and their influence on GOP politics has been nothing short of disastrous -witness the semi-theocratic regime of BushCo or see John McCain passing over the few Republican VP hopefuls that actually had the skills to take office and instead choosing a professional breeder who pushes for wildlife eradication, environmental destruction, book banning and faith-based contraception, all in the name of God.

Wouldn't it be great if the religious lunatics had somewhere to go where they could gather without bothering those of us who, like our Founding Fathers, are deeply uncomfortable with having the faith-based delusions of (insert sect here) forced on us as law?

If our political candidates didn't have to waste time and energy on irrelevant matters such as who is "faithier", they'd be able to concentrate on more pressing issues, such as providing health care and planning a return to a more peaceful foreign policy. Schools could once again be encouraged to teach subjects like Science, Math, History and Language and the Divine Right could keep their Creation Delusions where they belong-in Church and in private. I mean, if you want to believe that the world is a mere 6,000 years old, that's fine with me- until you start telling me about it. I really don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear your condemnation of gay marriage, reproductive rights, free speech or social tolerance- why don't you take that crap somewhere where people care? Somewhere like the National Convention of the Divine Right Party, which could be held in hotbeds of free thought such as Branson, MO.; Wasilla, AK or Squirrel Lick, WV.

With the advent of the Divine Right(wing)Party and it's own candidate, the other two parties could stop worrying about pandering to the willfully superstitious and concentrate on creating sound policies- the 15% of the vote that seems to be given far too much attention under our current system could be dismissed as a lost cause- those votes will go to the DRP candidate and no lip service need be given to them by Democrats or Republicans as they won't be voting for a 'major' party anyway. Theology will no longer dominate the political discourse of the Big Two parties - faith will be a personal,private matter for thoughtful politicians and a flaming Jumbotron for the DRP.

I honestly don't care if a candidate goes to church, prays or even if they believe in God or not- I just want someone who thinks before they act and doesn't make decisions based on "faith" or "belief"- I prefer facts and knowledge when it comes to deciding who to feed and who to bomb, although I must admit I have a soft spot in my heart for Jesus' teachings when it comes to caring for the sick, feeding the hungry and teaching the children- sadly, it's unlikely that the DRP will feel the same way.

(In the interest of "fair play", I suggest that the DRP be given the same media coverage and opportunities that the Green Party, the Libertarians and the Whigs receive.)


yellowdog granny said...

you may be on to something here..

Sling said...

This is why I leave political commentary to those better equipped to deal rationally with far right.

whimsical brainpan said...

I think it's a splendid idea!

yinyang said...

It's a great idea, but I don't think the Religious Right would go for that. They like being in control of things, and they've put a lot of time and effort into the Republican Party. They're too power-hungry to be lured away by a third party.

But, I've had thoughts, and maybe what this country needs is a little theocracy to wake people up and show them just how bad theocracy is - and then the pendulum might swing back toward secularism. Although, who knows? Maybe the pendulum has begun to swing already, and the next political season will be (slightly) less crazy.


*I was going to say more, but my inner cynic has been working overtime, and as of right now she's taking a break.

Donnnnn said...

The blatant pandering is so would be better to give them their own Party.

Afterall, they're just hangin' out until the Rapture anyway. They don't give a rat's ass what happens after..
hey Kirk Cameron has boyish charm and some nutty Flinstonian Theology, he would make a great Party Whip.

You are spot on. Set it up.
If I hear one more "God Bless America" I'm gonna plotz!

Craig D said...

Here's my prediction:

On election eve, it will be reported that Palin's daughter has had a late-term abortion.

It will be too late to de-program the GOP voters, but the all-important "reproductive rights" segment will swoon and jump ship immediately.

"Yay! Now we can vote for a woman VP! Double-yay!"

Result? Landslide! Another term (or two) for the GOP on the throne.

Brilliant pandering, no?

(After the election, it will be revealed that Palin's daughter didn't have a late-term abortion, after all. It was a mis-reported late-night snack. Oh, well, it's all "off limits" anyway...)

Anonymous said...

I was under the impression that there already was a DRP, its current candidates being McCain and Palin, and publicists Fo "News."

yellowdog granny said...

i also think craig d might be on to something too..i like how his mind works

Susannity said...

We voted in essentially runoff voting here in Washington - love it! I think it will give good candidates from other parties a chance now.

yellowdog granny said...

have had your radio station on all day...rockin' on...

ReesePie said...

Hey you may just have a great idea!

angel said...

LOL... a very interesting concept!