Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Alright, so I tried Facebook and found out that I liked it. So what? I mean,I can quit whenever I want. Right?
Anyway, this blog isn't exactly anonymous, so find me if you want to, but please, for Godzilla's sake, please, spell my first name correctly.


I have heard more than a few folks refer to Facebook as 'FaceCrack', a pun on the highly-addictive instant gratification offered by social networks and by processed cocaine; but I think the analogy is incorrect...it's a matter of degree, really.

Facebook more resembles powdered cocaine than it does crack.

Let's break down the coke analogy a bit:

Blogging: Old-fashioned Blogging (like this) is akin to chewing raw coca leaves- it'll get you where you need to go, but it's a slow process, requiring substantial energy output before seeing any results. It's so slow that weeks, months or even years may pass before you realize that you are as high as you ever really needed to be, which is not very, really....on the positive side, it's possible to chew coca leaves and maintain a balance between outside awareness and self-reflection. At least that's what the chewers say.

Facebook/Myplace etc: These sites are like powdered coke. Someone else has done a lot of the work for you, but you still have to chop it up and pass it around, which requires a bit of interaction with the world around you, virtual or not. If you want to smoke it properly, you'll need to do a bit of very basic chemistry first. And no, I'm not explaining it.
In any case, it's possible to snort cocaine and have a functional, socialized personality- at least that's what the snorters tell me.

Twitter: From the outside, Twitter looks a lot like crack. It appears to be all about the 'Me-Now' and doesn't seem to lend itself to hindsight, insight, foresight or reflective thoughts of any sort whatsoever...but I may be wrong, having never tried it.

I do, however, know that from a snorter's perspective, smoking seems to offer a transcendental, epiphanic rush not available via the straw-and-mirror method...I also know that this is a false perception and that crackheads, in actuality, are more likely to experience a grande mal seizure than they are to enjoy a personal epiphany.

Of course, nobody is going to steal your car stereo just so they can Twitter for one more Tweet. They will heist your iPhone and jack your Wi-Fi instead.

I'm enough of a leaf-chewer to realize that one of my personality defects is my prodigious ability to extemporaneously exclaim exactly the wrong thing- it's what makes me such a great live radio DJ and world-famous blogger...in any case, I don't quite trust myself with Twitter. Yet.

I've been on Facebook for two days and I think I've already fucked it up...of course, I felt the same thing after my third day of blogging, but that is different- this blog was never 'right', but it was never really meant to be and I'm (generally) unapologetic about the content here- but I'm already regretting certain Facebook statements.

Sorry 'bout that.


Sling said...

I'm a total washout as a Facebook person.
I keep getting updates and such,but I have to think really hard before I can remember my password.
Blogging works best for me,because I can say everything I want to say in one breath,without all the pesky interruptions that come with having an actual conversation.

NYD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NYD said...

I enjoyed the analogy and in some ways it is apropos. Facebook is really nothing more than a friend tracker. I like twitter because it is kinda cool. Its succinct format lets me blab without restriction. I am somewhat more profane on twitter than I am on my blog.


twitter cracks me up...i have a slew of followers and i probably haven't twitted? twittered? twatted?..anyhow more than about 6-10 times...sorry..its supid..
face book i like..more for keeping up with everyone than for what i have to say..
although it was freaking out my little cousins with the tales of annie's tootsie pop poops..hahah

billy pilgrim said...

all this stuff's cool but nothing beats getting a hand written letter in the mail. it seems like all this new stuff is just dehumanizing communication.

secret agent woman said...

I must be the leaf chewing kid, because facebook ust doesn't do it for me. I'm with Sling on the virtues of the blog.

schlep said...

Facebook is useful, fun even, but by common consent it seems you are encouraged to keep it sweet. No heaviness, no dark nights of the soul, not much actual prose, just cheery share-y stuff.
Twitter I have not participated in.

NYD said...

I couldn't disagree with Yellowdog and Mr.Pilgrim more.
Although twitter might seem superficial at first it is a simple and direct way of communicating with people.
I believe that it will be one more way of bringing people closer together and give then a way to exchange ideas on certain topics en masse.. Of course it is much better to sit at a dinner table and discuss various topics at length, but twitter allows you to have a table that seats dozens even hundreds or thousands of folks. And just like every other advancement in technology- it has it's down side.

I Like it!

angel said...

Dude- you can not fuck FB up!
I am on Twitter of course (because I have to join everything and follow every link for fear of missing something)... snigger.
I'll come find you!

Allan said...

Sling- Having tried both, I prefer Blogger...FB is is fun, but it's not exactly deep. Bonus points 'cause people who assumed I was dead know I'm alive now!

NYD- I don't truly know how it works...I see people doing it-openly and furtively- everywhere! How does one keep up with all the tweets?
I don't have a 'text-friendly' portable device, so it's moot for me.

JS- Followers? Is that how it works?

BP- I agree w/ the letter thing- (I got one the other day, first one in forever), but the e-thing lets me get music from everywhere, which is cool.

Who's That Girl?- Yeah, I prefer my cud, but FB is fun, especially if you are unemployed and lonely.

Schlep- Yeah...I am not ideally suited for brevity and levity. But still,I got to say 'HI' to people I lost track of years ago...

NYD- I agree with you in principal, but I'm guessing thoughtful debate and conversation is the exception on Twitter, not the rule (why should it be different than any other media)? I would imagine that , overall, it's less zeitgeist and more zeitgossip.

A- I honestly don't know how you do it, but keep on!

Enemy of the Republic said...

If you ever want to know some facebook horror stories, just write me. It is good for some things and that is all I miss about it. I lasted 3 months.