Facebook

Alright, so I tried Facebook and found out that I liked it. So what? I mean,I can quit whenever I want. Right?
Anyway, this blog isn't exactly anonymous, so find me if you want to, but please, for Godzilla's sake, please, spell my first name correctly.

Anyhow...

I have heard more than a few folks refer to Facebook as 'FaceCrack', a pun on the highly-addictive instant gratification offered by social networks and by processed cocaine; but I think the analogy is incorrect...it's a matter of degree, really.

Facebook more resembles powdered cocaine than it does crack.

Let's break down the coke analogy a bit:

Blogging: Old-fashioned Blogging (like this) is akin to chewing raw coca leaves- it'll get you where you need to go, but it's a slow process, requiring substantial energy output before seeing any results. It's so slow that weeks, months or even years may pass before you realize that you are as high as you ever really needed to be, which is not very, really....on the positive side, it's possible to chew coca leaves and maintain a balance between outside awareness and self-reflection. At least that's what the chewers say.

Facebook/Myplace etc: These sites are like powdered coke. Someone else has done a lot of the work for you, but you still have to chop it up and pass it around, which requires a bit of interaction with the world around you, virtual or not. If you want to smoke it properly, you'll need to do a bit of very basic chemistry first. And no, I'm not explaining it.
In any case, it's possible to snort cocaine and have a functional, socialized personality- at least that's what the snorters tell me.

Twitter: From the outside, Twitter looks a lot like crack. It appears to be all about the 'Me-Now' and doesn't seem to lend itself to hindsight, insight, foresight or reflective thoughts of any sort whatsoever...but I may be wrong, having never tried it.

I do, however, know that from a snorter's perspective, smoking seems to offer a transcendental, epiphanic rush not available via the straw-and-mirror method...I also know that this is a false perception and that crackheads, in actuality, are more likely to experience a grande mal seizure than they are to enjoy a personal epiphany.

Of course, nobody is going to steal your car stereo just so they can Twitter for one more Tweet. They will heist your iPhone and jack your Wi-Fi instead.

I'm enough of a leaf-chewer to realize that one of my personality defects is my prodigious ability to extemporaneously exclaim exactly the wrong thing- it's what makes me such a great live radio DJ and world-famous blogger...in any case, I don't quite trust myself with Twitter. Yet.

I've been on Facebook for two days and I think I've already fucked it up...of course, I felt the same thing after my third day of blogging, but that is different- this blog was never 'right', but it was never really meant to be and I'm (generally) unapologetic about the content here- but I'm already regretting certain Facebook statements.

Sorry 'bout that.