Sunday, July 05, 2009

The Good, the Bad and Her Ugly Face Again

The Good: I found a new apartment that is only a few miles from where I live now, but much, much cheaper...at $49.95 per month, I'm considering renting two rooms and calling it a suite...I can build a bunk bed in one room and put my desk under it and I'll use the other room to store my useless crap in. I only have one item of furniture (an antique buffet cabinet), so it's not as if I need much room...and my rent will decrease by six hundred dollars a month, which means I can resume eating. Plus, it's only a block away from the radio station, which has a kitchen , shower and indoor plumbing.



The Bad: Former NFL star Steve McNair was shot and killed Saturday by his 20-year old girlfriend, who then apparently shot herself. McNair was a tough-ass, competitive player, known for playing despite having serious injuries such as broken ribs and busted knees...injuries forced him to retire after 13 seasons but he had quite a respectable career,including playing in a Super Bowl that his team lost by one yard. That was heartbreaking.

McNair was sacked for a total of 254 times during his career - big, burly armored dudes were always trying to tackle him- but in the end, all it took was one bad relationship to bring him down forever.

I suppose there are worse things to die from than loneliness.

There is togetherness, for example. Instead of feeling sorry for myself for having a solitary "holiday", I should be thankful that I didn't get food poisoning at a picnic or murdered after a post-party quickie.






Sarah Palin's Latest Major Malfunction:

Sarah Palin just resigned as Governor of Alaska, citing, among other things, the fact that Alaska has investigated / is currently investigating over a dozen ethics complaints against her- she said she didn't want Alaskans to be burdened with the cost of these investigations- which are going to cost the same amount regardless of her job status- she also said this:
"I thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks: travel around the state, to the Lower 48, maybe, overseas on international trade -- as so many politicians do," Palin mused. "And then I thought: That's what's wrong. Many just accept that lame-duck status, hit the road, draw the paycheck and 'milk it.' I'm not putting Alaska through that."

Um, dude-lady, what is stopping you from eschewing all that "lame-duck" frivolity and just sticking with your job duties? I mean, other than the fact that you never really did them in the first place? Besides, what you describe above sounds an awful lot like campaigning for national office...

If, as some are wondering, this is a political move designed to help bolster Palin's chances at a 2012 White House run, it sure is an odd gambit. Imagine the bumperstickers:

-PALIN 2012-2014 1/2!

- SARAH 2012: BECAUSE AMERICA LOVES A QUITTER!

- PALIN 2012: THE BUCK NEVER STOPS

-(on Palin's car) THEY'RE PICKING ON ME!

Seriously, if you can't handle being "bullied" by the American press, you obviously don't have the spine required to fight terrorism...Osama bin-Laden is not intimidated by Katie Couric- ya know that, dontcha?

I have some theories:

- Someone (probably Satan) has offered her an enormous amount of money, money that she cannot legally accept while holding elected office. Being possessed of more avarice than patience, she bailed on her elected job because she wants her money now. All those clothes McCain bought for her in 2008 are waaay out of style, ya know?

- She did something really, really bad and she knows that it's only a matter of time before she gets busted for it...I mean, eventually, someone, somewhere, is going to realize that Alaska, which enforces State-controlled re-distribution of production revenue to individual citizens in the form of an annual check, is a borderline Socialist state- albeit a rather flush one.

Socialism, as campaigner Palin was fond of pointing out, is Bad.

Luckily for her, her supporters (like many Americans) can't offer up so much as a cursory definition of Socialism, only the vague but certain idea that it is Bad. Ooooo...scary!

- She wants to spend more time with her family. You betcha!

In any case, one of her supporters had this to say, emphasis added:

“And she has a following that will jump in front of a plane for her,” said John Coale, a lawyer who helped create her political action committee.


Dude, that is an odd choice of words. Very odd.

Personally, I am more than a little wary of political leaders with followers that are willing to use airplanes to commit suicide. There's an ugly precedent for that.

15 comments:

secret agent woman said...

I was going to comment on my ocassional wondering if people ever attempt to love in storage units when I was brought up cold by the Plain stuff. I had to go to the link bcuase I thought your quote by her was a joke. And Oh. My. Freaking. God. She really said that.

"SARAH 2012: BECAUSE AMERICA LOVES A QUITTER!" gets my vote.

Allan said...

SAW- If it can be done in an 8'x8' room, someone has already done it...

Tina Fey demonstrated that the best way to mock Palin is to quote her accurately.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

you can always come to west, babs and i will switch off letting you sleep on our couch..you can start your own radio show here in west..play what you want with an occasional polka song..
palin.........please someone kidnap her and hold her hostage until im dead..

billy pilgrim said...

i wish i had as much money as ms palin's gonna make in the next few years. if only god would speak to me.

Enemy of the Republic said...

The stupidity of Palin can only be matched by her narcissism. She will reap the fruits of mediocrity on the lecture circuit, write a You Betcha book written in the native tongue she cannot speak or understand and then go to How to Become President online school: courses are being tailored for her as we speak:

1. The History of the United States 101

2. Geography of the United States

3. World Geography (continents) the introduction

4. World Geography: a series of seven courses that will ask her to identify countries in each continent. Repeat courses are without charge for those bigger places like Asia, Europe and Africa.

5. World Geography: Identify the 4 Oceans

6. International Studies: Sarah will be asked to know and pronounce correctly the leaders of all developed nations. She will also be required to understand what they do for a living.

7. Political Science 101: The study of the Declaration of Independence, the Consitution and memorizing the national anthem.

8. Speech: Use of the English language so that everyone doesn't bust a gut when you open your mouth

9. English Composition--this is a series of courses that will start with the alphabet, phonetics and tracing each letter onto paper. The hopeful conclusion will be that Sarah can write an essay with a thesis statement, proper paragraph structure and a conclusion while obeying grammatical standards.

10. Arithmetic: How to stay within a budget.

As you can imagine, only patient people with the pulse rate of corpses should apply to teach her.

Well, I feel better!

Allan said...

JS- I'm in negotiations for a sofa-crash in Sweden at the moment, but thanks for the back-up.

BP- You betcha!

E- Awesome! That might be my favorite comment of all-time- I actually laughed out loud and I NEVER laugh out loud.

I think #9 is waaay optimistic, though...can't she just cut the tracing paper into snowflakes instead?

NYD said...

8x8? Even prisoners have more room than that.

Gotta love politics. There is no other profession when one can be thoroughly ignorant, lack any common sense, live outside the law and make themselves wealthy all at thre same time.

Allan said...

NYD-

"Gotta love politics. There is no other profession when one can be thoroughly ignorant, lack any common sense, live outside the law and make themselves wealthy all at thre same time."

Sure there are: Pro Athletes , Wall Street Hoodlums,Rock Stars, Talk Radio Hosts and various Shiny Hollywood Idiots all come to mind.

Craig D said...

"Personally, I am more than a little wary of political leaders with followers that are willing to use airplanes to commit suicide. There's an ugly precedent for that. "

So you think Palin would make an ugly president?

I won't know what to think until I read Mallard Fillmore in six week, at which time I'm sure I'll have all the talking points I need.

Allan said...

CD- I knew I could count on you to find that pun!

Ugly president? Only politically...
No, honestly,as far as Presidents go, she'd be pretty hot, at least from a totally desperate hetero male viewpoint...she'd be the only PILF that I can think of, all I'd need is a ball-gag and a very low sense of self-esteem. And cyanide capsules to help me cope with the remorse.

Craig D said...

Allan: Two words... "Autoerotic Asphyxiation!"

PILF!!! Har har har, yew betcha!

angel said...

Awesome news on the apartment dude!

Allan said...

Angel- Thanks, but I'm not really moving into a storage unit, it's a joke. I hope, anyway.

angel said...

But it made so much sense!
:D
I still don't understand how someone can jump in front of a plane...

secret agent woman said...

And of course I meant live in a storage unit! But I guess loving works, too.