Wow. I'm getting fired from my own blog. I didn't even know that was possible, but I recently received an email from my editor stating that my job performance has been unsatisfactory and that I was being relieved of my duties...my duties? What duties?
I thought our deal was this: I was to create a blog that was the most fucked up thing on the web, and in return, my editor , the enigmatic 'EP', was going to give me a sack full of magic beans. Well, I did my bit. I'm #1 on Google's list of fucked up things on the web, but am I getting my magic beans?
The brutal yoke of extortion prevents me from disclosing the full details of what went awry , but suffice it so say that my editor has become distinctly unhappy with my postings and the attention that they are receiving...I hadn't planned it this way,but my feedback has become alarmingly positive and my editor- who is misanthropic and proud of it- hates positive.
So I had two options:
1) Step down and let 'EP' take over this blog.
2) Pay 'EP' off and keep blogging.
I didn't like those options, so I informed 'EP' that blackmail can be a two-way street and if he didn't find my recent posts to be vitriolic enough, then he was free to start his own blog, but I was retaining ownership of this blog as long as I maintained possession of certain .jpg files.
In any case, EP has started a blog that's pretty much dedicated to ripping me (and the entire world) a new asshole, and that's OK with me, since it saves me the trouble of doing it myself. I'll be glad to provide a link if you ask, but I won't post it here.
I used the old saw," you can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar" in a recent exchange with EP.
"A train wreck gets more attention than a flower-bed", he shot back.
Clearly, EP and I have some irreconcilable differences. Time will determine who has the better approach.
This blog will now concentrate on music and upbeat events.
EP will be taking on the responsibilities of maintaining an angry, highly personal and deeply offensive blog. If you want to know where it is, feel free to ask me. If I don't tell you, it's probably because EP has posted about you and I'm trying to protect your feelings...but don't be paranoid.
Anyway, I'll be traveling this weekend, so I don't really see the need to do anything constructive , productive or creative for the next several days- I am "on vacation" now...there is some downside to this vacation, but I'll let EP explain that. He's all about the downside.
Why the change of heart? It's complicated, but a lot of it hinges on the profound effect that the words and music of people that I've never met have had on me.
An example: In his song, 'Regret', singer/songwriter Ace NoFace asks this question:
"Have you done more harm than good?"
I don't know. I hope not.
But it makes me think, and I'd like you to think along with me on this...watch the video of what it takes for Ace (who is suffering from ALS) to compose a song. On my radio show, I made the comment that Ace has more talent in one finger than most people have in their entire bodies. Watch the video and you will know what I mean...watch it and then think about your life. You have it pretty tough, dontcha?
Not everything good has to be heart-wrenching, though. Some good things are just simply fun or goofy...I recently saw a video clip of NY songstress Jennings, where she's on-stage, carefully tweaking the controls of off-screen electronics and at one point she looks up at the audience and says , "you have no idea".
Actually, I think I knew what she meant- it's a musician thing - and it made me smile with good memories of bad cables and keyboards with personality disorders...and later, quite by accident, one of her songs helped cheer up a pal who was a bit down, even by my standards.
I'll put that in the "good" column.
The last straw, so to speak, came in the form of a newletter and email from multi-everythingist Norine Braun who quotes my gushy praise on her site, which simultaneously warmed my heart and blew my increasingly tenuous anonymity...so why should I keep hiding?
There are things that I'd rather not share with the world, but the music I listen to is not one of those things.
But don't worry. I'm still in touch with my dark side and it's not exactly all rainbows and unicorns over here, I'm just letting someone else deal with that mess. Somewhere else.
Because this is what I look like when the music plays:
I'm smiling. Why should I hide that?