Monday, June 20, 2011

Eat Stuff, Stay Young

 This (above) is a picture of me, circa 1999. Years of heavy drinking and drug use had turned me into a withered, skinny, shaky derelict of an old man while I was still in my 30s.

Fortunately, I quit using hard drugs sometime around the year 2000 and that allowed my body to retain most of the calories in the alcohol I was consuming, minus a few calories here and there from vomiting and the occasional bleeding injury. In any case, by 2004 I had stopped being so withered and skinny and I became a fat, bloated blimp. I only shook when I wasn't drinking- which was never- so I was pretty steady most of the time.

 But the Fall of 2005 brought with it the Fall of Me. I survived, but just barely. Sometimes it seems like part of me died that year and perhaps it was a part of me that I'm better off without.

Or maybe it is still inside somewhere, lurking and waiting...but for what?

After all, you can't blow up the Hindenburg twice.

I did have a relapse of sorts recently. I found myself mixing a live band on-the-air for the first time in about a year- I'd had a years-long binge of live music starting back in 2005, and I thought I'd cured my mixing addiction by replacing it with the guitar-playing habit that I thought I had kicked back in my drinking days ( see how these cycles work?).

These days, I can't seem to go a day without at least a few minutes of guitarizing. I say this  not without a certain amount of lasting gratitude, a gratitude which circumstance does not allow me to convey directly, but which is there nonetheless. I hope you understand.


This is me now, doing something that I love to do: admiring mean, setting up a broadcast sound-stage at our local non-profit FM station:

If you have ever listened to my radio show or to one of my broadcast/podcasts, I would like to take a minute to personally thank you for doing so.  It is a truly a labor of love, but it is worth it knowing that there are people out there, friends and strangers alike,who actually enjoy what I do...I mean, wow. That is a great feeling.

Having my own radio show is an honest-to-Godzilla childhood dream of mine come true, it really is.

This is what it looks like when I'm playing records for you...we have two old-fashioned turntables and those records are the real deal, straight outta my personal collection, scratches and all.

Of course, there's more to radio  than just spinning plates. You gotta know what the Fancy Knobs do, for one thing. And sometimes you get to meet really cool people. Or maybe instead of them, you'll meet my friend Kevin (below, middle), a.k.a, the redoubtable Mr. Atavist .
A year or three ago, I showed Kevin how the Fancy Knobs work and now he is conquering the world with his own show, one great unknown band at a time.

But enough about me and the people who are lucky enough to bask in my greatness. Let's talk about you.  Let's talk about us.

Nah...let's keep talking about me, 'cause I'm kinda bummed out that you can't come over for dinner tonight-  I made a nice summertime vegetarian treat for you and I kinda wanted to surprise you with it. There's a lot of ardor in my larder for you, you know. 

First I soaked my wheat, which you can see in the background, then I threw a bunch of chick peas and some tahini and other bits of things into my food processor...note that you should put most of the spices and small bits in first, but I had some extra parsley and roasted pepper, so it went in last.

Pressed buttons until the machine got loud and the food spun around like clothes in a washer.

After a few minutes, it looked like this. Not ready to eat, but much more colorful than my rather bland black-and-white laundry.

After much grinding and whirring, I eventually had a big bowl of the yummy, healthy goop known as hummus. Because you said you loved hummus.

Anyway, by now the wheat had finished soaking, so I added a bunch of stuff that I just happened to have lying around the kitchen to the wheat until it turned into tabbouleh. Which is pretty damned good, if I must say so myself. And I must say so myself, because no one else is here tonight  to say anything to me or for me. 


 Not that I miss you or that I like having you around you or anything like that...I just hate having all this extra food. I knew you'd understand.

 The kicker is the cucumber dressing. It's easy as hell to make and it tastes great on top of hummus and tabbouleh.  Sliced cukes, added oil, vinegar, pepperoncini ,  a little sugar, some garlic and the leftover bits of mint, red peppers and parsley from the stuff I made earlier.

Put it all in the 'fridge and let it chill...

What's that? You can't come over?

Damn. No, it'll keep...yes, literally, haha. I'm glad you don't mind leftovers.

On the bright side, that means more dessert for me. I made these special just for you but I dunno how long they'll last...

Damn. My stomach hurts. Must've been all that hummus.




if I've said it once I've said it a 1,000 times ..I'd rather fall over dead in a bucket of KFC then a bowl of salad..

Judy Bracher Carmichael said...


Too, too fun.

Allan said...

JS- The odds are 1,000 greater of dying from KFC than from salad, so that works out.

JC- No problem. You are in!

schlep said...

Bloody hell! Why can't I have a radio show! I can't think what other use i might possibly serve...

Allan said...

Apply for one, Schlep. I'll train you.