Never Mind: Return To Fuck

I have an uncanny knack for making things that are true become untrue by simply mentioning them. Anything I say -or even think- becomes an instant jinx.

For instance, yesterday I said that I was happy. I said that because it was true.
There was a slightly painful, but entirely reasonable "bummer" moment , but I didn't let it ruin my day...I mean, the sun didn't fall out of the sky or anything.

BUT

This morning, I checked my bank account and I really didn't like the numbers that I saw- something bad had happened to my checking account. What?

The Federal Government- the same one that laid me off from work- has decided that it paid me too much money for the work I did for them, so they reached into my bank account and took what they considered to be fair.

I don't think it's fair.

I called the office and actually reached someone I knew...she said they were doing it to everybody, that HQ had made a payroll error at some undisclosed point in the past and they were in the process of fixing it. I'd be getting a certified letter explaining it all.

Great. I have no job, I'm living on unemployment benefits and now Uncle Sam has decided that I need to pay for his sloppy-ass book-keeping.

Fuck.

Your Firing Technique Stinks

I think our new Area Manager, Mr. Hole, must be one of the slimiest, stupidest weasels I have ever had the displeasure of being terminated by. He is the sort of guy who lies even when he doesn't have to- he isn't satisfied with being a weasel, he has to be a skunk too.

For example, he's been firing the office temp for two days now...the temp is a great worker and she's a lot of fun to work with, but she's just a temp. You don't have to give excuses to temp workers when you lay them off- you just tell them that the job is over and notify the employment agency that the assignment is done. It's simple. I've been on both ends of the process.

But Hole seems to have missed this crucial management lesson. Instead of simply telling Tempy that the assignment was over, Hole dragged her into a private conference Friday. He told her that she was finished in one week, the he gave her a long speech about "growing the company".

If you are getting fired, the last thing you want to hear is how much better off the company will be after they stop wasting money on your paycheck. Tempy was no exception.

Tempy, who I am gonna miss working with, told Hole to stop talking.
Please, she said, you don't need to explain. I understand.

He ignored her and went on for forty-five minutes. Forty-five minutes.
Tempy is a big woman and she said she was finding it hard to keep from knocking Mr. Hole on his ass.
I laughed, yeah, I know...so what did he say, I asked?

"He said you and Tom were the problem and I was "guilty by association" but the fucker refused to say' guilty of' what."

"Really? He told me that I was guilty by association with you two. He also copped-out when I asked what I was G-by-A of...I asked about the Warcraft site, it wasn't that."

Mr. Hole told us not to talk to each other about what he said- it was one of the first things we learned when we compared notes. He was trying to play us against each other but he's so bad at it that instead he has united us in our loathing of him and his crew of stooges.

This morning, Hole just couldn't leave it alone. He called Tempy into his 'office' again and told her that she shouldn't smoke near the windows where the client could see her. The outdoor smoking area is public and it's all visible from the window, so Tempy sarcastically asked if maybe she should walk around the corner and hide behind a bush.

Hole said that would be satisfactory.

Then he asked her if she could find a way to cover up her (neck, arms) tattoos. She's very dark-skinned and you can barely see them. A lot of the younger , prettier white ladies have small, visible tattoos, it's important to note, and none of them are getting in trouble. Our dress code is supposed to mimic that of the office, and small tats are OK.

After she told me all this, I asked her if she thinks she would have got so much grief from Hole if she was white, cute and stupid; not black, obese and three times as smart as him?
I pointed out that it sounds to me like she is being discriminated against, that no one else has been asked to smoke elsewhere and that you can see three tattoos on this floor alone- all on white skin. He must certainly be following some hidden agenda, otherwise why not just say: thanks, the job is over, have a nice day, g'bye etc?

Why all the explaining?

Hole hasn't given me my notice yet, but it's just a matter of time. Right now I'm the only trained employee they have so they can't fire me until I train my replacement. Our attitude conflict has escalated to the point of silent avoidance. If Hole has a question for me, he has to use a proxy, as I no longer acknowledge his presence.

I can't believe he doesn't fire me for that.

Weak.

One Down

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.' "
-Jerry Falwell on 9/11

With Falwell gone, who will protect us from Tinky Winky's
Big Gay Illuminati and their insidious Man-Purse Agenda?

I can honestly say that I am glad the man is dead. He has been waging a campaign against human rights since 1973, when the Supreme Court of the United States had the temerity to give women sovereign rights over their own bodies in Roe v. Wade, outraging a young Falwell with their decision.

Calling feminism a "satanic" movement, in 1979 he founded the ultra-right wing fundamentalist lobbying cartel, the so-called 'Moral Majority', whose main goal was the destruction of the walls between Church and State, the ultimate target being an American Christian Church/State- the sort of New Rome that attracts apocalyptic nut jobs who think it's OK to attack abortion clinics and shoot doctors while simultaneously ranting about the Islamo-Terrorists
that we need to be protected from- at the price of our civil liberties.
Unless you were gay or female. Then you weren't supposed to have any civil liberties in the first place.
His vision was one of a Christian America that would assert itself in a global struggle with the 'rising tide of evil' in the growing Muslim world.

The sort of Nationalistic Christian America that would return to the days of the Holy Crusades, using it's military might to spread it's ideology outside it's own borders, while using the so-called 'word of God' to oppress and suppress any at home who might disagree, including politicians and the press.


"I shudder to think where the country would be right now if the religious right had not evolved," he said when he stepped down as Moral Majority president in 1987.

Twenty years later, most of it under the sway of the Religious Right, and the country is in the worst shape since the Depression. Falwell's ideology was a great fit with the Reagan-Era neo-cons who help anoint Bush 43 as our Emperor.
We got our Crusade.
It's called Iraq and it's going rather poorly, which any thoughtful person could have predicted.

The Generals and advisers who called the Iraq occupation a bad idea were fired, demoted or otherwise had their lives and careers torn apart- see war critic Joseph Wilson's wife Valerie Plame for an example. Or they sold out, drank the Kool-Aid, repeated the party lies, were pilloried as scapegoats and retired in disgrace: see Colin Powell.

I shudder to think where the country would be right now if the religious right had not evolved," he said when he stepped down as Moral Majority president in 1987.

I love the irony of Falwell invoking evolution so much that I'm re-pasting the quote.

The Religious Right can't evolve. It's fundamentally against evolution.

Much like a Great White shark, it doesn't have to evolve, merely adapt- it's already the perfect mindless and unreasoning devourer, with a nearly unstoppable and all-consuming appetite for more power and wealth, damn the costs in lives. Violence is inevitable in the face of such aspirations.
The same religious madness that drove generations of armor-clad European fodder to the meat grinder of Jerusalem during the Crusades is still in force today.

It's what makes people hate others simply because of the way the others love.

It's what makes people burn books that they've never read.

It's what makes people fly planes into buildings full of people they've never met.

It's insanity and it's advocated by both the Taliban and American Evangelists. Both groups spell god differently, but both strive for a militantly strict patriarchy of putatively heterosexual men; holding women as little more than breeding stock for more Jihadists/Crusaders.

Those are some of the 'old-fashioned values' our Evangelical Christians seek to return to. Imagine Cotton Mather leading a legion of Clayton Waagners with the world's most devastating weapons at their disposal. Their enemy: Anyone who stands in the way.

That's what Jerry wanted. He may still get it, but I imagine it's going to be hard for for him to enjoy it from his reserved suite in the darkest pit of Tartarus.

Dental Damn

Ha ha ha... a special thanks to my long-time friend in SC who left a comment and link on my last post- I took care not to mention the Dentist by name, not wanting to besubject to libel or whatnot, but it seems like I don't have to worry- the exploits of "Dr." Michael McQuack , D.D.S. have -just this morning in fact- been made public. What a coincidence!

This article barely scratches the surface of what a horrible human- much less a dentist- McQuack is:

He was suspended in August 1999, with the board charging multiple
infractions dating back to 1995. The charges say that McQuade:

■ Used the same gloves on multiple patients.
■ Drank alcohol during
office hours.
■ Used “abusive, vulgar and degrading language to and in front
of patients.”
■ Took naps during the day and had employees wake him for
appointments.
■ Treated patients while wearing socks, no shoes.
■ Allowed
dogs to urinate and defecate in the patient care area.

Also, in 1999, McQuade told an investigator with the Department of Health
Professions that he used nitrous oxide recreationally, twice a week, and that he
occasionally smoked marijuana.

By "occasionally smokes" he meant 24/7.


Hahahahahaha!

I'd laugh louder, but he's still practicing dentistry. Amazing.

Correction: The characters in this blog are entirely fictional and none of this stuff ever happened. If there's a dentist of the same or similar name, it's coincidence.

Fuck Doll Ruins Holiday

"Mommy, my doll told me to fuck off!"

The hysteria is exceeded only by the idiocy...

Click the link below this story for the video. It's workplace safe- they actually bleeped the alleged naughty word out.

Can you f*cking believe this sh*t?



There's also a link to a story about a dog whose fur pays homage to the Crucifixion...the owner, who is obviously a lunatic (check out what the dog is forced to wear if you need proof) , is treated as credible by the 'newsteam investigators' , who are neither credible nor sane.

The doggie story may be slightly more deranged than than the doll story... but it's close.