Roll Yourself Up

Is there anybody out there who doesn't understand the basic idea of Role-Playing Games (RPG's) in general and Dungeons and Dragons in particular?

Anyone?

Today, you can play D&D on your laptop ,but back in the old days we played it on a tabletop. A tabletop is not a form of computer, it's just the top of a table.

(A table is like a desk- only unlike a desk, you are supposed to eat at a table)

One person would assume the role of Dungeon Master, or DM. The DM's job in the game was to make stuff up. The DM would have an entire fantasy world mapped out , along with a general background story for the various regions and a few highly-detailed adventure scenarios for actual gameplay. The DM served as a sort of live-action interactive storyteller, explaining the settings and situations to the players-or Player Characters (PCs) - who would assume a 'fantasy' persona such as a wizard, warrior, priest or thief and respond to the information presented by the DM. A snippet of a D&D game might sound something like this:

DM: " You hear a rumbling, crashing sound in the forest to your right, it gets noticeably closer, and you can tell that it is the sound of large trees falling. It sounds like something big is
coming, and fast."

PC 1, Fighter: " I draw my sword!"

PC 2, Wizard: " I cast a protection from evil spell."

PC 3, Thief : (in a written note handed to DM): "I pickpocket gold from PC2 while she's distracted."

DM (Rolls dice) : " Wizard, you notice a tugging at your belt- it's the thief and his hand is in your purse. Meanwhile, a hungry manticore has lunged out of the woods and is charging directly at you. What do you do?"

The DM and players used polyhedral dice with 4, 6 , 8, 10,12 and 20 sides to generate the results of the various combats, magic spells, thieving endeavors, etc. that would take place. Events and actions were assigned a hierarchy of probabilities/outcomes and the results thereof would be determined by a combination of the DM's intent and a series of random numbers.

To generate a random number between, say, 2-16, one would roll a pair of eight-sided dice , or d8s. D&D dice came in a huge variety of colors and materials and were collected , envied and admired in much the same way that previous generations venerated glass marbles. Oooh, a glow-in-the dark d20! A transparent d4! A loaded d6! Cool!

These same dice were used to create (or "roll up") the player's characters, who were comprised of a series of attributes: Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity, Constitution and Charisma. The normal human range was based on a bell-shaped curve between 3-18; for example, a character with a Strength of 18 could knock most ordinary doors down with little effort, while one with a STR of 3 could scarcely slice bread.

(Typically, 3 d6 were used (3-18), although I usually allowed the PCs to roll 4 d6 and keep the highest 3 dice.)

Most 'normal' humans fall into the 9 to 11 range, but the fantasy characters generally needed above average scores in order to survive very long, hence the best 3 dice of 4 mentioned in the preceding paragraph. (A weak Fighter would not win many battles, a stupid Wizard couldn't cast many spells, etc...)

Each player also chose a class (profession) , such as magic-user, bard or fighter; a race -human, elf, dwarf etc , and an alignment- a moral compass to act under: Evil, Neutral or Good, which could be further catergorized as Lawful ,Chaotic or Neutral.

As these characteristics and attributes were determined, the players would write them down on a 'character sheet' ( piece of loose-leaf paper), which would be modified as the persona gained experience and powers over the course of their adventures. It might look like this (sans comments, of course):

Name: Mungo the Mighty

Class: Fighter ( uses all weapons and armor skillfully, cannot cast spells)
Level ( how skilled/experienced the PC is): 2 - barely starting, has killed a few goblins and a dozen giant rats .

Race: Human.

Alignment: Lawful Good- Mungo is an obedient, good-willed Boy Scout at heart.

STRength: 18- maximum 'normal' strength. Mungo is buff! If he hits you, it is gonna hurt.

INTelligence: 7- Mungo have hard time make complete sentence. He is vulnerable to mind-control magic.

WISdom: 12 - Mungo has enough sense to ask the Wizard for help with his grammar.

DEXterity: 14- Mungo is agile, making him a harder target to hit in battle. He's a good shot with a longbow.

CONstitution: 15- Mungo is quite healthy. He can withstand more punishment than most folks and rarely gets ill. He is somewhat resistant to ordinary poisons.

CHArisma: 6- Mungo's face has launched a thousand whips. Mungo is also sort of a drag to be around; Mungo lack tact but Mungo not care. You behave or Mungo be mad. Not many friends for Mungo.

Hit Points: 22 - For an unseasoned warrior, Mungo is very durable. (Zero hit points = dead)

What kind of character would you be? Here is myself in D&D terms:

Name: Me
Class: Bard - Bards are adventuring storytellers and musicians. They are mediocre fighters, have some thieving skills and can cast low-level magic spells. Their songs can inspire their comrades, giving the entire group bonuses in combat and other perilous situations. They are otherwise pretty useless. Not many people play them as characters.

Level : 8- I'm OK, but there are an awful lot of bards who are better.
Alignment: Chaotic Good - I try to follow my conscience; I despise rules, unless I have a say in making them. I change my mind but not my convictions.

Race: Human

STR: 13 - Me is a lot stronger than he looks. Me was once the arm-wrestling champ at his buddy's tattoo parlor . Me beat a bunch of burly dudes in an impromptu tournament, probably the most macho moment of Me's entire life.

INT: 25- This is as high as human intelligence gets in the game. The rules need to be re-written to accomodate Me's enormous intellect- and Me is just the man to do it, being a super-genius and all .

WIS: 6 (3) -Me really should know better, but he keeps making the same mistakes over and over. Me's high INT tells him he's doing dumb stuff, but Me's low WIS lets him do it anyway. The parenthetical '3' reflects Me's minus-three penalty when dealing with the opposite sex.

DEX: (14) 11- Me used to be quite nimble, but illnesses and injuries have permanently lowered this score. Two surgeries on his left arm, broken ankles on both legs, etc...currently 11, was 14 at first-level. Still OK. Dancing incurs an additional penalty of minus 4.

CON: (17) 13- Years of drugs and booze have caused a permanent minus-4 penalty here, but Me never would have survived at all without a really high base CON score. Currently 13, was reduced to 0 at one point , late 2005. Zero CON= dead.
That was why Me quit drinking.

CHA: 8- Yeah, Me may be beautiful, but if Me rates his own INT at 25, Me must be crazy in a delusional and possibly dangerous way, and that personality defect lowers his CHA to the point where the rules say Me can't even be a Bard , much less an accomplished one.
A truly great bard has a high charisma score and performs for royal audiences- Me has a garage band that plays at open mic night and keggers. Mungo plays drums.

Hit Points: 50- For a wimpy bard, I'm frustratingly difficult to kill.

Notes: Me suffers a minus-3 penalty to Wisdom when interacting with human women.
Me also gets an additional 3 bard songs per day, as Me is abnormally prolific.

Here's a blank sheet. Roll yourself up and paste it somewhere. Special powers are OK. Be psionic. Or not.

Name:
Class:
Level:
Alignment:
Race:

STR:
INT:
WIS:
DEX:
CON:
CHA:

Hit Points:

Notes: