3 A.M.Blog

I arrived at the hospital with perfect timing. My grandmother was just starting to wake up after having a stint placed in her heart early this morning. She recognized me, that's a good sign, she was dopey but awake. The doctor came in and told us that it went well and she'd likely be released tomorrow- Friday at the latest.
As if on cue, Grandma started retching black blood. A nurse scrambled over with a pan, and when my gran rolled over slightly to lean into the pan, there was a large stain of red blood under her.
The little room became filled with doctors, nurses and machines; my dad, our family friend Sharon and myself were ushered to Waiting Room A, CCU; we were there until nearly 11 pm.

At 11pm, Nurse Amber said we had five minutes to see Grandma. She was bleeding badly and was receiving her fourth transfusion- the blood-thinning drugs used to prevent clots around her new stint were causing her to bleed internally- hopefully an infusion of platelets would reverse the drug's actions and she could be mended with endoscopic surgery- it's normally not a very risky procedure but it seems she needs it from both ends and that's hard on a 87 year old woman with heart and lung disease.
Without surgery she has no chance, so it's the only option.
I drove home late this night/morning. I need to grab some clothes and get a key made in the morning so I can get someone to feed my cats. I'll have to call the Twin in Chicago before he leaves for work and tell him to get ready to come home again.

I hope this is another false alarm, but I fear it's not. My mother made the same retching sounds- exactly the same- the day before she died. Until today, I had only heard that sound from one person. It's not something that you forget.

Goodbye felt like goodbye.