Blue Man Grope

I feel your pain and it's starting to hurt, so wouldja just get better already?

I had eight and a half hours of airtime this weekend- three two-hour shows as DJ and one show as engineer/producer. I was so impressed with myself that I took my own picture so that you, the reader, could admire me as much as I admire myself. Actually, I was trying to examine the sunburn on my scalp but I won't post those pics... suffice it say that next time I go for a drive with the sunroof open I will wear a hat.

Anyway, six hours of music is about seventy-five songs- plus the 30 minutes I picked up from the 6am DJ who overslept- usually I post and narrate my playlists, but this is 75 fucking songs- who the hell would read that? Better yet, who would write it?

Me. But without the details this week.

First, Zendo Soundsystem. DJ Ras-Bob usually mixes it up with modern flavor, but my groove music collection tends towards the WayBack Machine and the Mothership Connection- (and a few cuts from South Park):

Cameo- Word Up
Funkadelic- Freek of the Week
Talking Heads- I Zimbra
Curtis Mayfield- Little Child Runnin' Wild
Master P- Kenny's Dead
Average White Band- Schoolboy Crush
Papa John Creach - Enjoy
Red Hot Chili Peppers-If You Want Me To Stay
Funkadelic- I'll Stay
Steve Hillage-Unzipping the Zype
Parliament- Big Bang Theory
Little Feat- Spanish Moon
Big Brother & the Holding Co.- Funkie Jim
Tower of Power- I Gotta Groove
Grace Jones- Inspiration
P-Funk All-Stars- Funky Kind( Knock it Down)
Isaac "Chef" Hayes- Simultaneous
Marvin Gaye- Come Get To This
Troublefunk- Woman of Principle
Kool & the Gang- She's a Bad Mama Jama
Rick James & Ike Turner- Love Gravy
Ray Manzarek- Begin The World Again
Stevie Wonder- Superstitious
George Clinton - Kredit Kard
Chris Spedding- Breakout
James Brown-Living in America

Saturday I spent four hours in gridlock and barely made it to the station in time to host Songs From the Big Hair, our weekly 1980's show. I had the pleasure of being assisted by my "trainee" Fontaine, who added some fresh air to my stale records. I used the air-quotes because Fontaine has been a DJ at another station for many, many years- in fact, she trained me as her summer substitute over a decade ago... by the end of the program she was running the show while my assistant Eric and I set up the studio for our musical guest - the wonderful Lauren Kendall - who played four fantastic songs on keyboard, voice and cello accompanied by her man Blake on percussion. Not only did they sound great, they also came prepared with gear and good-natured humor that helped soothe my white-knuckled nerves. Kudos to musicians who carry microphones with them- special thanks to L&B for the cables and to Fontaine for the tunes!

Big Hair:

Danielle Dax- Inky Bloaters
Gary Numan- Engineers
King Crimson- Model Man
Fleshtones- Girl From Baltimore
Opal- Magick Power
Crack The Sky- Lost in America
Dead Kennedys - Viva Las Vegas
Bad Brains- Re-Ignition
Sonic Youth- Hotwire my Heart
Siouxsie and the Banshees- Arabian Knights
XTC- Wake Up
Tom Tom Club -Genius of Love
Mission of Burma- That's When I Reach For My Revolver
King Crimson- Elephant Talk
X- White Girl
Tupelo Chain Sex- The Revolution Will Be Televised
Snakefinger- Kill the Great Raven
Talking Heads- The Great Curve
The Soft Boys - I Got the Hots
Keith Le Blanc - But Whitey/Einstein
The Cramps - Garbageman
The Blasters - I'm Shakin'
Pere Ubu - We Have the Technology
Magazine - The Honeymoon Killers
The Fall - Copped It
Pixies - Tony's Theme
Dream Syndicate - That's What You Always Say
Run DMC - Mary, Mary
Udokotela Shange Namajaha - Awungilobolele

By the time I was finished with Lauren's show I was exhausted and starving, having not had a chance to eat all day, so I said fuck the diet- I got myself some fried chicken and went home, did bongs and watched the Sci-Fi channel. Maybe it was the weed, but does Sci-Fi's original programming consist entirely of monsters eating bikini models? I didn't even notice when one movie ended and the next one began- all I know is that if you hike in the rain-forest wearing a g-string you will be eaten by dinosaurs.

I wanted to dream about the g-string models-sans dinos- but I barely had time to sleep at all before I had to rush back down to the studio at 6:30am to fill in for he-who-shall-not-be-named, who had * ahem* overslept.
Then, of course, my own weekly show.

The New Breakfast Snob:

Raput & The Sepuy- Up, up and away
The Scramblers- Mister Hot Rod
Circle Makers- Circles
Eleanor McCovey- Whisper and a Prayer
Victor Banana- Stall Genie-Gooseneck Hollow
King Crimson- Thrak
West of Eden- Hide and Seek
Rosemary Woods- Everywhere I Go
Clann an Drumma- Visedail
Velvet Underground- Sunday Morning
Fiona Joyce- Cry Over You
Siobhan Skates- Short a Penny
The Kinks- Village Green Preservation Society
Grace Slick & Paul Kantner- Ballad of the Chrome Nun
Loreena McKennitt- Caravansrai
Claanad- Why Worry?
Briege Murphy- The Sea
The Stranglers- Midnight Summer Dream
Marianne Faithfull- Witch's Song
Pentangle- Springtime Promises
Jethro Tull- Fat Man
Jefferson Airplane- Rock Me Baby
Little Feat- Fat Man in the Bathtub
Slick & Kantner- Fat
Captain Beefheart- This is the Day
PrettyThings- Goodbye/Going Downhill
Graham Central Station- Ole Smokey
10 CC- Sand in my Face
Mike Watt- Against the 70's
Tom Verlaine- Always
King Crimson- Ladies of the Road
PJ Harvey- Workin' For the Man
Can- Soup


Now for my next trick: some serious nap inaction.

Saved By The Bell

The robots have taken control of the station. In the movies there's always a kid genius who hacks into the network and saves the day at the last minute. Where is that kid now? I ain't him.

Band De Soleil- Woman on the Floor
This song is twelve minutes long, which makes it a great one for playing when things are breaking down.
Michelle Malone makes her guitar weep in the language of wah and I wish I could play this song louder but I'm busy troubleshooting...I'm forced to call outside help and that is not something I am used to doing or enjoy much. A phone call is made and order is restored during D. Bigay's drum solo. Anyway, I'm listening to it now because I missed it on Sunday.

Replacements - Kick Your Door Down
Having to deal with misbehaving computers at 6:30 am pisses me off and makes me wanna play my punk rock records. "Your radio is playing way too loud and it don't sound like me!"
Goddammit, it should sound like me! Turn that shit UP.

The Kinks- This is Where I Belong
I need this song to help get me back in the here. It's not long enough. Close.

Pretty Things- Passion of Love
This isn't even the song I wanted to play. I wanted to play Not Givin' In...fuck, this new song sounds like the Pretties circa 1965- not 2000ish. I liked them best in 1968-1971.

Jefferson Airplane- Feel So Good
This is from an Airplane LP but it's really just Hot Tuna in disguise. Go, Jorma, go!

Television- Friction
Many years ago, the bar I worked at had enough musicians employed to form a cover band for the X-mas party. One of the other guitarists chose this song- I was just a beginner and the guy gave me a copy of the LP Marquee Moon. I was advised to listen. I did. I still have that LP. Just played it...
"I start to spin the tale/ you complain of my dick -shun/
You give me friction/F-R-I-C-T-I-O-N"
(thank you Billy- wherever you are)

Lou Reed - Nowhere at All
I'm still in a sour mood and need this sort of song to settle me down by pumping me up- I goddamn love Lou Reed..."somebody's got to help me".

Damien Dempsey- Marching Season
Am I the only American who knows who this guy is? He's fookin' great and if you have an 8am mad-on at the world, then this is the perfect song for you. Honk!

Jethro Tull- Acres Wild
Today I skipped work and got a copy of my birth certificate, which is required to obtain a passport, which I will need if I ever want to see what Ian Anderson is singing about. And I do.

Clannad- Struggle
Isn't it a struggle? Of course it is. So what? Play on.

Fairport Convention- Walk Awhile
Tomorrow my car goes into the garage for inspection and a (hopefully) minor repair.

The Stranglers- Who Wants the World?
Fuck, I don't know. I live inside my head.

Manzanera/Eno/801 Live- Miss Shapiro/ You Really Got Me
One of the best unknown live albums ever.Brian Eno singing the Kinks...this came out before that Van Halen silliness.

Gentle Giant- As Old As You're Young
Are you as old as you seem? You are? Excellent.

Genesis- Lilywhite Lilith
"The chamber was in confusion.." are the first words to this song- it's what I thought of when I walked into the studio this morning- took me a while to get it cued, but the fade segued perfectly into the chanting at the beginning of the next song, an accident of fortune, or something more?

Loreena McKinnett- The Mystic's Dream
Gorgeous. Calms me down, gotta make some announcements...let's pick up the pace.

Chris Spedding- Breakout
"When the music breakout..." Doin' the slow-pogo (slogo) around the booth, don't wanna make the record skip..."we've been psychedelicized/ we've had our booties re-fried"

Joe Strummer- Get Down Moses
This is on CD so I can jump up and down as much as I want to, which is a lot.

Hawkwind- D Rider
Whoa...I can still feel the acid I took back in 1984...this album was old then. Being able to play this on the air is a truly sublime thrill for me.

Can - Dizzy Dizzy
Yeah, back to my theme of spontaneous disorientation...man, I just can't quite click. My clever ad libs turn to gibberish- luckily, it all makes sense in the context of Can.

Steve Hillage- Unidentified Flying Being
Gong- I Never Glid Before
Steve's a saucer nut and Gong have an entire mythology of their own, complete with Pot-Head Pixies and Teapot Taxis so pretty much anything I say about them sounds crazy...in a very good way. Steve Hillage was THE Gong guitarist...Alan Holdsworth might've been the better player, but Hillage had the sound. I'll take the sound.

Klaatu- Calling Occupants...
What the hell made me play this? I remember someone telling me this band was the Beatles in disguise...turns out it was some studio hacks from Canada. I think that Captain and Tennille or maybe the Carpenters (or both?) covered this song. No matter who played it, it's annoying the shit out of me.

Blue Oyster Cult- Kick Out The Jams
Dammit, this is more like it! Sure wish I still had my MC5 vinyl.

Be-Bop Deluxe- No Train to Heaven
Bill Nelson is so, like, totally underrated...he's tried all sorts of styles- even wearing makeup like Bowie- but nothing hides the fact that he's a guitar nut at heart. Dude likes to solo- as well he should.

Bob Dylan- Long Distance Operator
PJ Harvey- Send His Love To me
You either get this or you don't. I'm hoping that you do.

Talking Heads- Paper
I think this song is about my friend X's new dog and his attempts at house-breaking it.
"don't think I can get it- on the paper/ don't think I can fit it - on the paper"
Dude. Some things they pass right through.

Anyway, my show was a mess and I left feeling all scrambled,it was only 9AM, but it set my tone, so to speak...I was in a jumbled funk all day. I played guitar, tried to blog, took a long walk...nothing helped. It was just one of those long, useless days.

This feeling carried over into this morning. I just couldn't function at all.

I could barely manage to call in sick.

When I hung up, I felt better. I really do think my (paying) job is very bad for my mental health...hanging in for now...anyway, I didn't want to waste today. Yesterday was bad enough.

One of the good/bad things about being a (unpaid) DJ/Programmer is having to review CD's. We get a LOT of CDs at the station and someone has to listen to them, evaluate the songs and make suggestions (if any) on what to play. Sometimes this is great fun and sometimes it is sheer torture, but it needs doing.

I think I'm the only DJ we have that delves into Celtic music, so I wound up with a stack of "Celtic Journeys" CD's in my box. Hmmm...stock photography on the covers, looks like it's being marketed to New Age Soccer Moms, this doesn't look like it's going to make my goat float, if you know what I mean.

Surprisingly, I was able to find at least one decent song on each CD- except the one called "An Instrumental Journey" , which, were it a screenplay, would likely be written by Alan Smithee. In the UK, an elevator is referred to as a "lift". That CD is "lift" music. Ugh.

One CD featured a song called Cry Over You by Fiona Joyce, whom I had never heard of
before. It's the last track on the last CD I reviewed and it made the whole ordeal worthwhile.
Ms. Joyce is a beautiful singer and this song is a heart-breaker for sure, but what really turned me on- what made me save the song as a .wav file and not as an mp3- was the sound of the cymbals, the uncredited drummer's touch on the bell of the cymbal is captured perfectly, changing just so , following the words...a drum machine can't do that.

Beautiful.

It was worth listening to four hours of Druid Muzak to get to that bell. That bell was ringing for me.
I needed it and there it was.

Magic.