Fuck a Bunch of Pepsi Bullshit

Pepsico just raised it's profit forecast. Here's how they did it:

1)Cut 530 jobs.

2)Got a 221 million dollar tax cut from Bush.

That's $416,981 in tax breaks for every job they cut.

Someone please explain how the Bush tax cuts are creating jobs.

Anyone?

Shallow And Talentless

I heard some nitwit on the radio today complaining about a proposal to add an essay question to the SAT tests-this person said it could hurt students who have poor penmanship. I didn't hear the entire story, but it seems like another concession to style at the expense of substance.
Shouldn't the students be graded on the content of their essays, rather than the neatness?

No. They shouldn't.

Why even pretend that critical thinking is anything less than obsolete; why ignore the painful truth that it's an actual impediment to success in nearly every field of contemporary human endeavor?

I suggest lowering the SAT standards to the equivalent of producing a really colorful, engaging and fact-free Power Point presentation or being able to "rap" over pre-recorded (by someone else) beats. Doing both simultaneously should be good enough for conscription deferment to a rear-echelon assignment or a cushy "psy-ops" post.

Unless you get deployed somewhere where people shoot at you. Which is fucking everywhere. Or shoot children. Despite my left-leanings, I do not fault our troops.
Children die in war. Everything dies in war. That does not mean I think we don't need a strong military, I just don't think we need it in Iraq.
If you were fighting for your life and you accidently killed a child, or a woman, or a man, or anyone who wasn't trying to kill you, how would you feel?
Can you answer that? I can't.
I'm not a parent.
I'm not a psychiatrist.

What would i tell my child if they were mentally or physically shattered by the war that they came home from?
I don't know.
I grew up watching body count reports from 'Nam.
I couldn't get an adult to simplify our justifcation of that war enough for a second-grader to understand.

Well, I finally got my wish.We went to war because...domino theory? Who chi Minh?red scare? yellow menace? Tonkin? Potemkin? ...oops. Remember the Maine?
WMD, WTC, freedom, peace between Palestine and Israel. Got Osama? Osama who?
This is not a fucking knock -knock joke.
It's a platform for irony.
We are safer now. We've got cameras everywhere, and they can scan your DNA from an orbiting laser satelitte.

I've got DNA samples from 2000 that prove I hate doing laundry.
I don't need a war.
"I don't need no education"
I just need dryer that works without fencing
the swordless stolen stuff

Let's just abolish scholarships and give anyone who can rhyme 'ho' with 'show' while directing a laser pointer at a pie chart what they really want: 15 minutes of shameless fame. Under my system, a high SAT score would open a "doorway of opportunity" for the shallow and sycophantic to obtain the American ideal-a fleeting appearance on a vacuous TV show with startlingly high ratings. Bonus points would be given to attractive children of privilege. Who wants to watch a TV show about a poor high-school kid trying to get a shitty job because it's essential for his family to eat, when they can watch a couple of spoiled rich bitch-persons argue about how to deal with a sinkful of dirty dishes?
It astounds me that people who wouldn't think twice about sucking cock on a web-cam manage to consider taking out the trash to be a task that's beneath them.
We, as a Society, are in a world of shit. Shit-talkers, shit-eaters, it matters not. Eat shit, shit shit, re-eat the same old shit, re-shit and so on... make all the tubular turds you want, but you'll never be able put the corn back on the cob.

But it doesn't matter does it? We've abandoned our embarassing embracement of mediocrity and replaced it with a heartfelt hatred of intelligence. If everything old is new again, I'd strongly advise investing in hemlock futures. Cassandra Inc. is a safe bet. Toss out the globes, pull out the un-refoldable highway maps and join the Flat Earth movement.

Maps are paper. Paper is flat. (Please ignore the coffee-stained crumpled mess in the glove-box.)

Therefore, the world must be flat.
And if it wasn't flat before, it damn sure is now.

That's the kind of straight talk Citizens love.
It's what we watch.
It's what we talk about.
It defines us and it stifles everything good about humanity.
Why do we prefer debasement and ignorance over art and curiosity?


How many Citizens would administer a tongue-bath to a gas-station toilet for a chance to win a million bucks? I'm guessing you could get a fairly accurate estimate from the Nielsen Ratings. Everyday, I hear damncubespeak about who said/did/ate/(implicitly) fucked who on whatever current "reality" show. I'm supposed to know; even worse I'm supposed to care.
Actual recurring workplace greeting: "So, what did you watch last night?"
I don't tell my co-workers that Heather Hooters has yet to surpass her performance in Sorority Sister Clusters #44. ( We used to rent the hell out of that video at the old shop until I traded it for a case of beer)
What else did I watch? Fuck. I don't know. TV is such a homogeneous, omnipresent presence that I can barely tell if it's on or off. You don't even have to own one (I do) to know what's on the tube. If it's something trivial, and/or excruciatingly boring ,someone will give you a semi-coherent ,overly detailed summary of what you missed. If, in the unlikely event, it's something you might want to watch, i.e. , a movie, someone will cut to the chase and go directly to the trick ending. You'll hate them for doing it, but in the long run they've saved you at least 20 dollars that you might have otherwise spent at the cinema.

Here We Go Again( Part Three)

Goddamn ! Someone get me a fucking filing cabinet right this minute! That fucker better have eight goddam drawers too!
My cube is awash in files-wire baskets piled in crudely numeric order, in- basket on top of in-basket. Out-basket? I don't need a fucking out-basket! I can't get anything done with all this mess everywhere.

Work amazes me. Dozens of people in the same room all day. Lots of chatter, but nary a single expression or observance worthy of more than the most cursory of responses. Except for the shit that frightens the hell out of me.
One of the Office Ladies has a daughter that works for a record company that leans a bit to the left. Office lady went to visit her daughter in Buffalo, she said she had a nice time , but she was concerned because daughter hadn't found (or looked) for a new church.
Much clucking arose in the neighboring damncubes, clucking and the feather-soothing promises to pray for her daughter. "She'll come back", coos one beady-eyed office pigeon.
It was weird. Mom Lady didn't really seem that worried, she just said she doesn't talk about politics or religion with her daughter, which I found refreshingly sensible.
It was the reaction of the damncube denizens to such an off-hand comment that I found disturbing.
------------------------
The Company closed the last office I worked at and consolidated the staff to the one I'm at now. Ex-office fling-mate Lenore is now one aisle over. We last parted very awkwardly, but I take a deep breath and walk over to say hi.
She stands up, and I know she's going to kiss me. It's in the way she rises.
But we're at work , so we pause , inches apart.
Chit. I miss you.
Chat. I miss you too.

We should get together soon.
This is said like it's a novel idea.
I'm not sure who said it first.
We both agree.

My Perfect Week

What a week! Last week I had my birthday, and when I got home I had so many friends call to invite me out that I couldn't decide which offer to accept-so how 'bout just have a big impromptu party with everyone? Whee!

It was also a good week at work. I've got a new boss, but he seems cool enough. I'm gonna miss the old boss though, he was great. Always answered any questions I had and covered my back a couple times as well.
Anyway, New Boss told me that in recognition for my one full year of excellent work as a temp, the Company has decided to hire me, complete with a re-location bonus and a signing bonus, plus full bennies! All I gotta do is move to New Orleans. I can deal with that. He was quite impressed that I've been handling every office task for two concurrent storms. He should be. I kick paperwork ass and make it look easy. I'm a regular office Olympian when I have to be.
I also had a lunch date with a very cool female co-worker- she's the only one in the office who seems to be able to tell if i'm joking, bullshitting, mocking or being aggressively honest . We had a great time-we see eye-to-eye on most, but not all, things. That's the way relationships work best. We're getting together this weekend. Yay!
I also found time to jam with a band, possibly to join. Was fun, high energy buzz jam!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What Really Happened

Got home from work and had a few messages.

Hey, this is %^*&%. Anything going on?

Call %^*&%. She's looking for pot. I mention that not only is today my birthday, it's also the first day I've gone without weed for two years.

"Well, call me if you hear anything", she says.

I change the litterbox.
Actually, I replace the litterbox itself.
The lack of stinky makes me hungry.

I bake a potato and smother it with leftover chili.
This is tasty.

Happy Birthday.

My ex- step-mother's calls. She threw me out of the house when I was 16, but we've made some reconciliatory measures over the years. Unfortunately, it's because we both have serious issues with my dad. I call her and we spend an hour re-living the nightmare that life with Dad was. Example: Step-Mom had heart attack, asked dad for ride to hospital, only a few blocks away. Dad is drunk and asks if it can't wait. Step-Mom drives herself to hospital, dad forgets to call 9-11. She has surgery and is in hospital for weeks, since they found many other bad things inside when they opened her up. Dad , of course, went on a bender and vanished. Not a single hospital visit from dad. Not one. When I went up there I found him so drunk and self-pitying that I wouldn't bring him with me to the hospital. We talked about the good old days. I have never come as close to striking a person in anger (not counted sibling bashin') as that encounter. There's only two people on the planet I know I can beat up. One is my twin bro' Bryan, and the other is my dad. My Grandma can whip my ass with one exasperated sigh. She wants me to take care of him when she dies.

When my 17-year old mother gave birth to the Twin and I, my 21-year old father went "poof" and vanished for two weeks. Years later he told me the day we were born "ruined his life."

One of the last things my Mother asked me to do before she died was tell my father that she would never forgive him for what he did to her. I told him that. He said I didn't know what I was talking about.
I do. She told me. Goddamn it, why did she have to do that?
No one else's business.

Anyway, work was great for a couple weeks-I was getting OT and actually earning it. Lots of well-publicized Bad Weather. The New Boss told me I no longer have OT eligibility- I must limit myself to 40 hours. Not only is this a huge pay cut, but it also means I'm always behind at work. I fucking hate knowing I've got a pile of repetitive paperchore leftovers waiting to brighten my otherwise dull and uninspiring workday.

Or should I say, disappointing, but not a total loss?

My lunch date is married. It's not an affair thing at all, but it was refreshing to have a conversation with an intelligent peer. We talked about our favorite conspiracy theories. Having a friend to share crazytalk with is cool. It really is.

Another phone call,"come get your bass amp before we throw it away"! I thought you needed it for practice. I don't have time or desire to play bass for your band, but I said you can use my amp. Now, months later, it's a problem? .

What a great week.

Could Be Trouble

I probably should not decorate the walls of my damncube with stuff like this, but I do it anyway.



"The myth of fascist efficiency has deluded many people. ... Democracy, to crush fascism internally, must develop the ability to keep people fully employed and at the same time balance the budget. It must put human beings first and dollars second. It must appeal to reason and decency and not to violence and deceit. We must not tolerate oppressive government or industrial oligarchy in the form of monopolies and cartels.

Most American fascists are enthusiastically supporting the war effort. They are doing this even in those cases where they hope to have profitable connections with German chemical firms after the war ends. . .[They] do not hesitate surreptitiously to evade the laws designed to safeguard the public from monopolistic extortion. American fascists of this stamp were clandestinely aligned with their German counterparts before the war, and are even now preparing to resume where they left off, after 'the present unpleasantness' ceases."
Vice President Henry A. Wallace, April 9, 1944


"Any person who doesn't clearly understand that national security and national solvency are mutually dependent and that maintenance of a crushing military power will eventually produce a dictatorship should not be entrusted with any kind of responsibility in our country�?
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

Connect The Dots

After an extensive scientific review of the Eugene “Jack” Armstrong beheading video, the Paris Hilton sex video, George Bush’s National Guard service record , some Radar images of Hurricanes and the secret Britney Spears nude honeymoon Polaroids; one thing becomes clear. Clear as the saran wrap in those Jeri Ryan naked photos.
There’s a common thread here. Can’t you see it?
I sure can. I don’t need a CIA leak fro Robert Novak to do so.
Need more clues? How about Swift Boats, John Kerry, Iran and nuclear weapons?
Rush Limbaugh / Daryn Kagan sex tapes? (eeeww….) Bush, cocaine and Camp David?
The secret lesbian affair between Hilary Clinton and Lynne Cheney and the Iraq War that Dick Cheney launched in a vain effort to cover it up? Dan Rather and CBS have the documents that sort of prove it.
Let’s not forget the Jenna Jameson/Bill Clinton connection- they both used to buy marijuana from Laura Bush, who committed vehicular homicide to cover up the whole sordid affair. Kittey Kelly told the truth on that one!

I swear it’s all true and it’s all connected.

How, you ask? Think, dear reader, think. Connect the dots. Trust your instincts. Jump to conclusions. What’s the commonality?
While you ponder this mystery I’m going to go check my ‘hits’ counter. I bet I get a lot of search engine hits today.

She Said Yes

Last week I was complaining to a Pretty Office Lady about the soda machines. Seems they were out of beer, and I really wanted a beer. POL told me the machines don't stock beer,butshe wished they did.
That's why she keeps a Keg-o-Rator (a mini-fridge w/a tap that holds a pony keg)of cold Bass Ale in her den at all times.

You're kidding, right?

No.

Wow.

Color me smitten.

I'm about to stammer something idiotic when the phone rings. So much work these days...

Today, I asked her if she'd like to have lunch w/ me this week.

She'd love to.

Someone chomp me with a staple remover, 'cos I must be dreaming!

Happy Birthday To Me

This year's birthday is already better than the last three, and I'm still at work.
Linda (Nice Office Lady)brought in a yummy cake and merriment was had by all. I really wanted an Uzi or a Thompson SMG, but cake is good.
I'd better enjoy the moment, because I'll probably sit home alone and throw beer caps at my cats tonight.Sigh.
Still, it could be worse.

In 2000, Alicia (my last real girlfriend) broke up with me. On my birthday.That sucked.

In 2001, no one, myself included felt much like celebrating. Too busy watching the WTC fall, over and over.This also sucked.I was on probation at the time and couldn't even get stoned or drunk because a failed pee-test meant five years in Federal prison. That would be a death sentence for non-fighting me.

In 2002, I was recovering from surgery on my Ulnar nerve and would have been in terrible pain if I hadn't been so fucked up on Oxycontin. Didn't go out that night.

2003? I was unemployed,broke, alone and in the deepest depression of my life.Except for 2001 and 2002, this was the worst year I've ever had.

Things are definitely looking better this year. The only thing missing is a Scorpio woman to have a torrid drunken affair with. It used to bother me that the last one was married, but with hindsight it's probably for the best-every minute we spent together was most likely subtracted directly from my life-span. Not that I'm complaining.

End Times Tidbits #3

How come vaporizing children with 500-pound bombs is acceptable 'collateral damage' , but using excess human zygotes for stem-cell research is a mortal sin and a threat to our National Soul?
We're blowing up Iraqi kids so we can...um...WMD...no, I mean 9-11, er...um...Saddam...freedom... I forget. Must be the Alzheimer's.
Please hurry with that stem cell research.

------------------------------

Doing the NRA's bidding, Congress let the assault weapons ban lapse. They've now introduced a bill to make D.C. more 'gun-friendly'.


Rep. Mark Edward Souder (R-Ind.) said House Republican leaders have
promised him a vote before the Nov. 2 election on his proposed D.C. Personal
Protection Act, which would end a ban on handguns in the nation's capital;
remove a prohibition against semiautomatic weapons; lift registration
requirements for ammunition and other firearms; and cancel criminal penalties
for possessing unregistered firearms and carrying a handgun in one's home or
workplace.

I'm weighing the pros and cons of working in a high-stress environment with an office full of gun-totin' , Uzi- wielding co-workers. The downside is fairly obvious, and it's compounded by the fact that the unregistered guns will make it difficult to determine who shot who when the authorities sort out the bloody carnage.


On the positive , we can defend our cubes in case of terrorist assault or Cuban invaders. Personally, I'm loading my TEC-9 with silver bullets in case werewolves attack.

--------------------------

In case you ever wondered if Bush has a heart, well no, he doesn't. At least not in the same place as human beings. Or does thinking about 9-11 make him instinctively reach for his 'Johnnie'?

---------------------------
At a Republican meeting this spring, Coburn warned: "The gay community has infiltrated the very centers of power in every area across this country, and they wield extreme power ... That agenda is the greatest threat to our freedom that we face today. Why do you think we see the rationalization for abortion and multiple sexual partners? That's a gay agenda."

Tom Coburn heads Bush's Presidential Advisory Council on AIDS/HIV.

I wish I was making this up.

Makes A Great Gift Idea

Yesterday: The ban on assault weapons expires.

Tomorrow: It's my birthday.

Hint, hint.

Laundry's Dirty Secret

There’s this laundromat near my house that I’ve been going to for years. It’s got a secluded parking lot in the rear with a wooden staircase leading to the rear entrance.
There is almost always a different expensive, unlocked racing type bike under the stairs. I’ve often wondered who would leave a pricey bike unlocked under the stairs behind an inner city laundry. It’s always a different bike, so there must be a lot of careless people using my laundromat. Sometimes I sit on the stairs and swill beer while I’m washing clothes , but I’ve never seen any of the care-free cyclists. Never really thought about it much.

I went to do my laundry a few nights ago and something caught my eye. Under the stairs was a brand new guitar amp. A really nice one. What’s up with that?
Admittedly , guitarists are a stoned and stupid lot, but it’s unlikely anyone would take their amp to the laundry and leave it outside, unattended in the rain. Maybe it’s broken. I can probably fix it if it is, but it looks like it just left the store. What could be wrong with it?

Inside, the coin-op is empty except for Enormous Washer Woman. Where’s the amp’s owner? I think about asking EWW about it, but I’m pretty much terrified by her. She seems too large to fit through the exits, so I’ve always assumed she never leaves the laundry, ever. That kind of captivity makes people crazy. I’m not especially prone to cowardice, but 450 pound women with evil gleaming beady eyes scare me. I choose a washer at the far end and load it up and leave.

That amp is still there. Right where the bikes usually are.

It’s a Hardy Boys moment. High dollar bikes. Expensive music gear. All stashed in an out -of-the- way place. A-HA!

I’ve stumbled across a criminal enterprise. This must be where stolen goods are exchanged/hidden/sold. I don’t know the details. I don’t want to know. I do, however, want that amplifier. It takes me thirty seconds to wrestle it into the back of my car, which is about twice as long as I wrestled with my conscience before deciding to snag it.

Back home, the amp works fine. It’s insanely loud. It sounds great. I wanna form a band just so I can play through my new treasure. Man, this thing cranks!

I wonder if I should tip off the police about the dirty laundry. I probably should, but with my record, I’d probably get busted for receiving stolen property or something-in any case, the only evidence I have is the amp, and I don’t feel like turning it over to the cops.

I guess I’ll do my wash elsewhere from now on.

Damncubepolitick

I'm surrounded by the weak and the stupid. I overhear shit that makes me wanna scream/laugh/launch into a thirty minute diatribe about why a one-party system is either a monarchy or a dictatorship. Ranting against monarchy is suddenly un-American. There's not much comfort in the irony.

I hear this: "After this election there won't be any Democrats."

I think this: That's a fuckin' creepy thing to say. What's going to happen to all the Dems? Are they all going to turn into Zell Miller? Where the fuck does Office Lady get her information?

I do this: Punch holes in paper.

I hear this: " My brother sent me an email saying Clinton faked his heart attack to distract from Bush's speeches."

I think this: It wasn't a heart attack. Then again, email never lies.

I do this: Use my forehead to operate the hole-puncher.

I hear this: "It says here that if Kerry gets elected we'll have terror again."

I think this: We'll have terror again? Could you clarify that statement? Office Lady panics in the presence of tiny spiders-it's a safe bet she's going to have terror again even if Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny win the election and appoint a re-incarnated Mr. Rogers as Chief of the Department of Fuzzy-Wuzzy Feelings.

I do this: Use my finger to trace the u-shaped indentation the hole-punch has created on my forehead.

Only three and a half weeks until my next day off.

Tomorrow is football!

Flood, Glorious Flood!

The best thing (besides 30+ hours of overtime per week) about working Catastrophe is that it keeps me too busy to snorkel the internet for depressing and/or disturbing news and information.

Otherwise the photographs of the dead and wounded Russian children would've made me go sit in the parking lot and cry. That would have been embarrassing, so I'm glad I didn't have time to see them.

I also missed most of the GOP convention coverage. If I had seen it, I would have observed that the Republicans are possessed with hatred and anger. They hate America with a passionately unpatriotic fervor. Had I watched, I'd have been appalled by the sheer ignorance displayed by their acceptance of outrageous and easily disproved lies. I'm glad I didn't see some guy claim that the Civil Rights movement succeeded largely due to the Republicans; because I always thought MLK, JFK, RFK and LBJ were more progressive than Strom Thurmond. In fact, the Southern (segregationist) Democrats jumped ship to the GOP during the '60's. That has a lot to do with the rise of the neo-cons and the extinction of the benign conservatism of the Eisenhower era.

America was founded by saying no to George. Why is it so hard to do now?

If I'd seen Zell Miller's speech I would have had terrible nightmares about the boogey-man who lived under my bed when I was five. Whew! That was a close call.

I'm also relieved I didn't read that article about workplace stress and it's negative impact on one's health.

Gotta get back to work.

split

We hadn't planned on this sort of catastrophe at the office. Almost all of the Company personnel and resources are in Florida -but we've got over a thousand claims here. I love it. The last few days have been completely crazy-but in a good sort of 'let's get our shit together ,organize ourselves and create a work-flow' kinda way. Grab lots of in-baskets and label them. Lock and load the printers and faxes. If you use reams of paper like sandbags, a damncube makes a dandy impromptu machine-gun bunker/ receptionist desk.
Put that desk on the perimeter. I'll pitch in some barbed wire and 3M products, but
I'm not manning it. Don't make me cannon-fodder for an onslaught of the (mostly) deservedly distraught policy-holders. The Company will pay to fix it , but finding contractors is really hard.
They all went to Florida.

If you've a few spare dollars , send it here.

-------------------------



It strikes like days
later
And hours early
sunless enlightened
in mornings forsaken
You go away
But I didn't notice
Because I thought
without thinking
safer
scratch at window
it scratches back
i break it
i break it again
it will not stay broken
this connection
was never clear enough
to be here
enough really isn't
cardboard houses
storage regrets
family forgets
cadence accepts
no forgiveness
forced
pushed
thrown
reminder

Click

Work got so busy today I decided I needed a new hobby when I got home. I set my TV remote control so I could switch instantly between All Lies News and the Disaster Network.

Click.
Omigod! Wouldja lookit that dam burst?

Click.
It's a clip of the Bush twins giggling.

Click.
Grainy black-and-white footage of a sad-looking man on the roof of a house being carried away in a flood.

Click.
Some idiot says Nader will cost Bush votes, so GOP funding of Nader's campaign is an endorsement of democratic values.

Click.
Old film of a Corvair flipping segues into a montage of exploding Ford Pintos. This is actually pretty cool. I think I saw some of this footage at a Butthole Surfers concert in 1989.

Click.
Dick Cheney uses the C-word. I say C-word because I'm incapable of saying 'courage' in the same sentence as.
Dick Cheney.

Click.
Lots of 9-11 imagery. Way too much. If I made a point of reminding my boss about the time I really fucked up , I'd be fired. Bush is calling it his platform. And the idiots swallow it all.

Maybe we do get the government we deserve. However,I don't remember burning orphanages and drowning every puppy in the world.
What'd I do to deserve John Ashcroft?

Hopeless, Useless Rant

It’s the calm after the storm and before the deluge of paperwork. Right now all the inspectors are out in the field looking at flood damage. So far we’ve got 800+ property claims and only four inspectors-I doubt I’ll see anyone until tomorrow at the earliest, but when they return it’s gonna be hell. Boss already asked me to work Saturday, Sunday and Labor Day. Sure. Why not? Who needs vacations anyway?
I’m three weeks short of working this temp job for a year. No vacation, just a few travel weekends that left me spent and exhausted come Monday.

I’m terrified by the spectre of unemployment. After I regained use of my arm, it took me almost a year to find a job, and things are worse now than they were then. Reading the help wanted ads is an exercise in depression. Lots of jobs that pay $7-$9 an hour. That’s great if you live in your parent’s basement and don’t pay bills, but I don’t have parents and I sure got some bills. I blew my life-savings on surgery (it was worth it), but at present I could only go 4-5 months without a job before I’d be sleeping under stars and cardboard boxes. I doubt I could find a decent job in less than nine months, given the current state of our Reverse Robin Hood economy.

In 1999, we couldn’t find enough people to work for the Census, despite the very generous pay. By 2000, I was on track for a really nice career position with the Commerce Dept., but Bush replaced my boss, and trickle-down unemployment did the rest. Those millions of jobs we’ve lost over the last 3 ½ years? Mine was one of the very first to go. I imagine the second cousin of some GOP handjobber probably replaced me.
Bitter? Fuck yes, I’m bitter. Why wouldn’t I be?

I know, I know. Any day now we’re gonna turn the corner and it’ll be all roses and rainbows. Yeah right. Voting for Bush is like going back to the same street-corner pot dealer who’s been selling you parsley and lawn cuttings for three and a half years because he promises the next time will be better.

Why anyone believes he’s a courageous leader is beyond me. I wouldn't trust him to run a hot dog stand, but somehow he's in the White House. Doing what to make us safer?He’s completely forgotten about Osama bin Laden. Did you catch all the references to OBL at the RNC? You won’t, because there won’t be any. Better just stock up on platitudes and lies, since that’s all you can expect. Shit, it's what most of you want. It might be bullshit, but at least it's comfortable bullshit. Compassionate rhetoric from fanatics who not-so secretly long for Revelations and the Rapture.

What’s that? You’re voting for a third party? That’s very noble and very foolish. Save that for 2008. Personally, I’d like to see a dozen legitimate parties on the ballot, but if BushCorp ‘wins’ again, it’s unlikely that we’ll have any more elections. Fuck it. It’s hopeless. I’ll stop bothering you.